Better Man

April was starting to wane and Caroline couldn't believe how quickly the time was flying by.

It felt like one moment she was on the first night of the tour and the next thing she knew, it was nearly the last lap, so to speak. And, to top things off, she'd put the decisions she'd vow to think over and make on the backburner; just simply wanting to enjoy this time with her boys on the road, seeing the country and playing their music.

On Mike's 35th birthday, The Sinners were in their hometown of Buffalo, New York; having a good time during the day, catching up with old friends and family. Caroline went home to her grandmother's house to visit after being gone for nearly two years. The two of them went to lunch together and she even invited the seventy-plus woman to the show. And despite it feeling good to be home, Caroline couldn't help but feel a little glum.

It was as if everything she did was for show.

Every smile, every hug, every wave, every word...

It was like she were walking through a dream, knowing that at any moment the dream would end. Her heart felt like it was being tugged at, so her chest constantly felt heavy.

She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. She laughed, but it didn't reach her heart.

Before the Buffalo show at the HSBC Arena, there was a meet-n-greet backstage where anyone with a backstage pass could meet the groups before the show started. Some even had passes to watch the soundchecks. The Sinners mostly had their family and good friends keeping them company backstage, but no matter how many people Caroline found herself surrounded by at any given moment, she still felt alone.

And then there was the guilt of knowing it was Mike's birthday, but feeling awkward about calling him. But she knew that if she didn't, he'd feel heartbroken.

So, when their half hour set began, Caroline took her video phone out on stage with her, stuffing it in her pocket. They went right into their first song to get things started, and then they performed a second. After both had been done, Caroline stopped the guys from going into the third.

She looked at them, winked and mouthed something the audience wouldn't have been able to understand.

Turning back to her microphone, she smiled. "When we made this album, Nick here had broken his arm and was unable to continue to record the remainder of the songs, so we were kinda shit out of luck. But, fortunately we happened to be friends with punk rock's greatest bass player, Mike Dirnt, who lent us his talent and helped us out on what we had left to do," Caroline began. She threw the band another look and turned back to the mic. "Today happens to be Mike's 35th birthday, and I wanted to take a quick moment to wish him a happy one, but I need all of you to help."

Pulling her camera phone out of her pocket, she flipped it open, stuck the receiver end to the mic and aim the camera at the crowd.

"When I point to all of you, start singing," she announced. She pressed the button to bring up Mike's number and then dialed it while turning on the camera for a live feed.

These new, live camera phones were fucking awesome.

After a moment of ringing, there was a very audible, "Hello?"

"Mike, it's Caroline," she shouted into the receiver.

"Care? Oh, hey...uh...how've you been?"

"Good, but right now I have some people who wanted to wish you a happy birthday."

With that, she pointed to the crowd who began breaking out into singing the birthday song.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR, MIKE...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!"

"And scream!" Caroline added, and the crowd did. Smirking she brought the camera to her ear. "Happy birthday, Mike."

There was a long pause, wherein Caroline thought they'd been disconnected, but then came a, "Thank you."

"Love to chat, but gotta go. In the middle of a concert. Bye," she said quickly for only Mike to hear. Flipping the phone shut, she stuffed it back into her pocket and then gave the guys a nod to pick back up into the third song without missing a beat.

* * *

Mike sat back at his dining room table, surrounded by his friends and family, closing his cell phone and placing his hand to his mouth to refrain from smiling like a loon.

Estelle, who was sitting beside him, looked up at her dad and bit her bottom lip as she grinned. "I heard a lot of people singing," she commented. "Who was it?"

"Buffalo."

Billie Joe was across the table from bassist and gave him a knowing look. "Quite the birthday wish. Ten thousand people singing happy birthday to you at the same time from across the country. That's fuckin'..." he trailed off. "I mean, that's really awesome," he amended, realizing there were kids at the table.

Mike nodded. "Yeah, it was." He looked diagonal down the table at Tre, who was picking at his food.

"Real awesome," Tre repeated, but not feeling it.

Looking back at his own plate, Mike put on a happy face as he looked around at his guests. "So...what about my birthday cake?"

* * *

After their set, The Sinners walked the hallway toward their dressing room where Dave practically threw a hissy fit over Caroline's impromptu birthday wish to Mike.

"What the fuck were you thinking, Care? You cut into our playing time. You know we're only given a half hour."

"It wasn't impromptu, so shut it," she bit back.

"Well, you didn't tell us about it!" he shouted.

"Uh...actually..." Nef began. "She told me about it after she told Brandon and his group. That if it would be okay if we ran over our set time by a few minutes."

Caroline gave Dave a 'told you so' look as she folded her arms across her chest. "Brandon said it was alright, and that the roadies would have to not dick around as slowly as they usually do when changing sets."

"You still didn't tell Nick or me."

"I don't see the big deal, man," Nick piped up. "I thought that was fucking cool."

"Oh, fuck you," Dave growled. He threw his cup of beer against the wall and stormed out of the dressing room.

"I don't see what his problem is," Nef commented. "Mike had a fucking heart attack and almost didn't make it to his next birthday, and if it wasn't for Mike we wouldn't have finished the album in time. Why the fuck wouldn't we want to do something nice for him?"

Nick shrugged as she walked over to the drink table set up for them, helping himself to a glass of whiskey. "I think Dave has PMS. Or maybe he's jealous."

Caroline turned her head to her bassist and furrowed her brow. "What does he have to be jealous about?"

"Well, c'mon, Care. We all know that you had an affair with Mike, even if you didn't want us to know."

Her eyes widened and her face became a shade of red as she looked away.

"We're not judging you, don't worry," Nef assured. "We know you love Tre, or loved. Whichever. But it was kinda obvious how you and Mike felt about each other. Long before you two ever hooked up. Like, remember your birthday party at Tre's and how the two of you just hung out at the side of the pool, chatting away so easily?"

"'Cause we were friends," Caroline muttered.

"Yeah, maybe, but now you're more than that."

"I--well...so? What's that got to do with Dave?"

Nick sat down on one of the couches in the room. "You and him dated once before, you know, and maybe he's thinking, how did I let Caroline go? How is it that I've known her longer and gave up on the relationship so that we could be a band whereas you and Tre and you and Mike were able to hook-up? Think of it like this," Nick rambled, but Caroline was still a little lost. "You've had two, not one, but two talented and famous men. Two wealthier than shit men who have two Grammies under their belt, an 18-year-long career as a band, who are well-established, and yet Dave can't figure out why he couldn't work it out with you."

"Yeah, there's lots of bands where the couples can stay together," Nef remarked.

"Captain and Tenille, John Lennon and Yoko Ono, before he was killed, of course, and...uh...help me out here, Nef," Nick muttered.

"Actually I can't think of anymore, but that's beside the point," Nef shrugged.

"And the point is?" Caroline pestered.

"Well, what it all boils down to is territory," Nick spoke.

"Territory?"

"Yeah, Territory," Nick repeated. "Dave had you. You were, in a sense, his property. But he gave you up, and everyone always wants what they can't have, right? And flaunting Mike in his face is like saying. 'He's had me, too, neener, neener, neener.'"

Caroline scowled. "I am not anyone's property."

"That's not what we meant," Nef assured.

"It doesn't matter," she shook off. "This conversation is retarded and I just want to go visit with my grandmother who's waiting outside before we have to leave for Toronto."

With that, Caroline walked out of the dressing room.

* * *

Later that night, on the bus ride to Toronto, Caroline was laying in her bunk, reading 'Zoya' by Danielle Steel when the curtain to give her privacy was pulled back, revealing Dave standing right there.

"Damnit, Dave. You scared the shit out of me."

He smirked. "You always did scare easily."

"What do you want? To berate me some more, 'cause if so, make it quick. I really want to read my book."

"Can you come in the back room with me?" He gestured to the back of the bus with puppy dog eyes and pout.

After a moment of just looking at him, Caroline rolled her eyes, closed her book and climbed out of her bunk with his help. The two of them walked into the back room, closed the door, and sat down on the wrap around couch.

"Okay, what?"

"We should talk," he replied lamely.

"Yeah, I kinda figured that one out on my own."

Dave gave her a 'don't push it' look at he sat back. "Care..."

"Fine, fine," she sighed. "What do you want to talk about?"

"You."

"Okay...I'm listening."

Folding his hands in his lap, and crossing one leg so that the ankle rested on the opposite knee, Dave looked at his bandmate and ex-girlfriend. "Why are you so sad?"

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"Ever since this break from Tre, this trying to figure everything out without anyone's input but your own...you're kinda depressing to hang around with. When you avoid mentioning Tre or Mike's name your whole face clouds over and we never get to truly see that smile we all know and love. But the sheer mention of their names, like tonight during the show, and your eyes just sparkle."

Caroline took this in, blinking a few times as she dipped her head.

"You think running away from the problem and avoiding it will help everything make sense for you; that you'll get the answers to all your problems by cutting them out of the equation. But the only way to solve the problem and find your answer is to add them in. You're like the 'one' and Mike and Tre...one of them is the other 'one.' The guy left over is like, a two. But only one and one make two, catch my drift so far?"

"I think so," Caroline nodded.

"Now, you can't know which guy is the 'one' unless you work out both equations. You and Tre. Or you and Mike," Dave said. "You can't figure it out if you don't have them at your disposal. It's just like an artist can't create a masterpiece without paints."

"So, what you're trying to say is for me to face the music," she quirked an eyebrow. "To talk to the guys one on one about which one I should end up with? But, tell me this, Dave. What if I end up with neither?"

"Well, you won't know unless you find out." Dave unfolded his leg and shook his head as he patted Caroline's shoulder. "Those two guys love you, but only one can make you truly happy. And you deserve to be happy, Care. You're a great woman and you deserve a great love."

Caroline tilted her head and smirked. "And here Nick and Nef had me thinking you were jealous."

"Why the fuck would I be--ugh. Those two fuckjobs. Pay them no attention. Just you worry about you. 'Kay?"

Caroline nodded. "Okay," she replied. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," Dave nodded back. "Now go read your smut."