The Biggest Fan
The Comfort.
I was lying in bed, burying myself in the covers, crying my brave tears and trying not to make too much sound in case someone would notice me.
I heard the water in the shower wasn't running anymore, so I presumed Jepha was done showering.
Still, I just lay there in bed, absorbing Bert's sweet body odour which now only made me nauseous.
"Hey!", I heard Jepha saying behind me. "Are you okay?"
He was standing at the end of the bed, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist.
"Yeah", I replied, peeking up from the covers which was covering half of my face.
"You're lying", he said in a gentle voice. "I can tell".
"Mhm". He blew my cover. I was never much of a liar anyway.
"What's bothering you? Tell me, hun", he then asked, sitting down next to me in bed.
Hun? Just by the way he used that term made me confess.
"It's Bert, he's out skating. Quinn and Dan told me he never goes skating unless he's got a lot on his mind. He hasn't gone skating since -"
"... Since Kate died", he said, finishing my sentence.
"Is it because of me and -"
"... No. Don't ever think that".
I liked the way Jepha was interrupting me. By that, I felt understood.
"You're not the one to blame", he then said, putting his hand on my shoulder which was covered by the covers.
I almost felt embarrassed. I never used to talk about my feelings. Not to anyone, not even my friends or family.
But at that point, sharing with Jepha seemed like the most natural thing to do.
I smiled at him. I could feel my eyelids getting harder and harder to keep open as they were hanging like heavy curtains over my eyes.
My smile caused me to not being able to hold back the tears that had been ready to burst out throughout the whole conversation.
They just came now, in heavy artillery. I tried to cover my face, feeling the mascara running, but Jepha took his hand against my cheek and lifted my head up.
He took his other hand behind my back and pushed my body against his bare chest as we hugged.
It was like a hug I'd never gotten before, so full of love and understandment.
This was a hug coming from a man who really cared about a weeping girl in front of him.
It was almost unreal. As he tucked me even harder against his body, causing me to silence my weeping, I felt his 2-day beard rubbing against my cheek. I smiled.
"Thank you", I said almost whispering, ending the hug while looking into his eyes.
I sniffed and dried my mascara-covered cheeks and eyes with a napkin that was lying on the night stand next to the bed.
"Everything okay now?", Jepha asked with a worried look on his face.
"Yes", I answered, still using the napkin.
"... And, Jepha. Could we keep this between us? I feel kind of embarrassed".
"Of course. And don't be, it's not your fault".
The comforting tone in his voice made everything seem to unimportant as he smiled at me, still sitting on the bed wearing nothing but a towel around his waist.
I heard the water in the shower wasn't running anymore, so I presumed Jepha was done showering.
Still, I just lay there in bed, absorbing Bert's sweet body odour which now only made me nauseous.
"Hey!", I heard Jepha saying behind me. "Are you okay?"
He was standing at the end of the bed, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist.
"Yeah", I replied, peeking up from the covers which was covering half of my face.
"You're lying", he said in a gentle voice. "I can tell".
"Mhm". He blew my cover. I was never much of a liar anyway.
"What's bothering you? Tell me, hun", he then asked, sitting down next to me in bed.
Hun? Just by the way he used that term made me confess.
"It's Bert, he's out skating. Quinn and Dan told me he never goes skating unless he's got a lot on his mind. He hasn't gone skating since -"
"... Since Kate died", he said, finishing my sentence.
"Is it because of me and -"
"... No. Don't ever think that".
I liked the way Jepha was interrupting me. By that, I felt understood.
"You're not the one to blame", he then said, putting his hand on my shoulder which was covered by the covers.
I almost felt embarrassed. I never used to talk about my feelings. Not to anyone, not even my friends or family.
But at that point, sharing with Jepha seemed like the most natural thing to do.
I smiled at him. I could feel my eyelids getting harder and harder to keep open as they were hanging like heavy curtains over my eyes.
My smile caused me to not being able to hold back the tears that had been ready to burst out throughout the whole conversation.
They just came now, in heavy artillery. I tried to cover my face, feeling the mascara running, but Jepha took his hand against my cheek and lifted my head up.
He took his other hand behind my back and pushed my body against his bare chest as we hugged.
It was like a hug I'd never gotten before, so full of love and understandment.
This was a hug coming from a man who really cared about a weeping girl in front of him.
It was almost unreal. As he tucked me even harder against his body, causing me to silence my weeping, I felt his 2-day beard rubbing against my cheek. I smiled.
"Thank you", I said almost whispering, ending the hug while looking into his eyes.
I sniffed and dried my mascara-covered cheeks and eyes with a napkin that was lying on the night stand next to the bed.
"Everything okay now?", Jepha asked with a worried look on his face.
"Yes", I answered, still using the napkin.
"... And, Jepha. Could we keep this between us? I feel kind of embarrassed".
"Of course. And don't be, it's not your fault".
The comforting tone in his voice made everything seem to unimportant as he smiled at me, still sitting on the bed wearing nothing but a towel around his waist.
♠ ♠ ♠
yay, i found a computer with internet around here! : Dhaha, you guys have no idea how long i've searched this god damn hotel, trying to find one.
and if you haven't already figured it out, i'm on holiday right now in the azores. [google it ^^]
man, it's so fucking beautiful around here, you have no idea. (:
but, yeah, back to the update: did you like it?
then tell me! comments are also welcome here in the azores, rofl. x]
xo,
lina.