The Biggest Fan
Changing the Playlist.
As we got backstage, I knew the procedure; the guys needed to be styled and fixed while I found myself a comfortable nice spot behind the curtains to the stage.
While I was sitting there, thinking of whatever I was thinking of, I overheard Bert talking to the other guys.
“I wanna change tonight’s playlist”.
“What? Why you wanna do that?”, Quinn squealed.
“It just feels right to have some other songs tonight. I wanna go with the soft one for a change”.
“It’s fine by me”, Dan commented, hearing him tap his fingers on a table.
“Yeah, okay, fine. As long as tonight’s gonna rock, it’s okay”, Quinn said.
Poor guy, his voice was really starting to get squeaky.
The conversation stopped there and they continued being styled or whatever you called it.
From where I was sitting, I could see the hall getting filled up with fans.
This was a big hall, maybe the capacity of holding 3000 people.
As I was trying to settle for a number, I heard a voice behind me.
“Hey!” It was Quinn’s.
“Hi”, I responded, looking up at him from where I was sitting.
“You okay?”, he asked as he sat down next to me with his legs crossed like mine were.
“Yeah, I’m fine”.
“Hey, listen. About what I said earlier, about when you asked me whether I was nervous about tonight’s gig or not and I answered no? Well, I was. I always am. And I’m sorry for the way I acted. I had no right. And as far as Dan goes, he’s sorry too”.
Just by the way Quinn said those words made me feel all warm inside.
“Thank you”, I said, wrapping my arms around him.
It wasn’t until then I realized that this was the first time we had actually hugged.
Even though it only lasted for a couple of seconds, I was still able to smell the sweet cologne from Quinn’s neck along with the cool fresh scent of his hair.
I couldn’t help thinking of that my hair smelled exactly the same. I had, after all, been using his shampoo and conditioner for the past couple of days.
“So, we okay now?”, he asked, ending the hug.
“Never been better”, I responded, giving him a shy smile.
“Great! So I’ll see you after the gig, okay?”
“Sure”.
As Quinn took his guitar which was leaned to the wall next to me, he gave me a smile along with what you almost could call a confirming nod.
It confused me, but at the same time I didn’t bother trying to analyze it.
While he was walking towards the small room between the backstage and the stage, I saw Dan walking behind him, smiling at me as he gave me thumb up.
When they approached the small room, I could hear people, the audience, scream.
I guess they had spotted Quinn and Dan back there.
For each scream that was heard, the guys were grinning ever more. It looked like they were enjoying it.
They were enjoying the feeling of being wanted.
“Hellooo”, a deep voice said from behind me. It was Jepha, eating a carrot.
“Hey!”, I said, taking some of my hair behind my ear.
“What’s up?”, he asked as he sat down next to me kneeling.
“Oh, nothing much. I’m just gonna sit here and watch you guys”.
“Yeah, sounds rad”.
“So, what’s up with you guys changing the playlist at the last minute?”
“I have no fucking idea”, Jepha answered, chewing on his carrot.
“It was Bert’s idea, actually. He said he wanted to go with the soft songs tonight. It felt right.”
“Oh, okay. Well, is that a bad thing, then?”
“No, of course not. It’s just that we’ve never done that before, like, changing the playlist that drastically and at least not at the last minute like we did tonight”.
“I see. You’re gonna rock anyway, though, so no worries there”.
“Haha”, Jepha said, rubbing my head with his hand as he was holding his bass with the other.
“Oh, I gotta go plug in the bass. Catch you later”.
As I was sitting there alone again, on the slightly dusty backstage floor, I kept wondering where Bert was.
I hadn’t seen him since we came inside and when he was about to get styled, so where could he be?
I started looking around from where I was sitting, trying to see if I could find Bert.
But I couldn’t. I couldn’t spot him anywhere.
I didn’t bother asking the other guys whether they’d seen him or not. They were busy plugging in their gear.
So therefore, I started walking around, trying to look for him.
I went by the music instruments at the rear end of the backstage area, checking all the rooms that I knew where there, asked around to hear if anyone had seen him, but no. No one had.
I scratched my head, trying as hard as I could to think of where Bert could be, and it wasn’t until a security guard came inside the main door that I realized that Bert might be outside.
I walked to the door, opened it and gazed out.
I was correct; there he was, kneeling while smoking a cigarette.
There was no one else around, just him, all alone.
“Hey”, I said. “I’ve been looking all over for you”.
“Oh, you have? Sorry, I was out here. I needed fresh air”.
“That’s okay. Are you ready for the gig tonight?”
“Yeah, I guess. I changed the playlist just earlier now”.
“I heard that. Can I ask why?”, I asked, sitting down next to him on the gray asphalt which the sun had heated up during the day.
“It just felt right, you know”, Bert started, inhaling his cigarette before blowing some of the smoke out.
“After these past couple of days, with you and the guys and all, it just feels right to be playing some of our soft songs tonight”.
I melted inside. The way he said it, it was so humble and fragile. So vulnerable.
While I was sitting there, thinking of whatever I was thinking of, I overheard Bert talking to the other guys.
“I wanna change tonight’s playlist”.
“What? Why you wanna do that?”, Quinn squealed.
“It just feels right to have some other songs tonight. I wanna go with the soft one for a change”.
“It’s fine by me”, Dan commented, hearing him tap his fingers on a table.
“Yeah, okay, fine. As long as tonight’s gonna rock, it’s okay”, Quinn said.
Poor guy, his voice was really starting to get squeaky.
The conversation stopped there and they continued being styled or whatever you called it.
From where I was sitting, I could see the hall getting filled up with fans.
This was a big hall, maybe the capacity of holding 3000 people.
As I was trying to settle for a number, I heard a voice behind me.
“Hey!” It was Quinn’s.
“Hi”, I responded, looking up at him from where I was sitting.
“You okay?”, he asked as he sat down next to me with his legs crossed like mine were.
“Yeah, I’m fine”.
“Hey, listen. About what I said earlier, about when you asked me whether I was nervous about tonight’s gig or not and I answered no? Well, I was. I always am. And I’m sorry for the way I acted. I had no right. And as far as Dan goes, he’s sorry too”.
Just by the way Quinn said those words made me feel all warm inside.
“Thank you”, I said, wrapping my arms around him.
It wasn’t until then I realized that this was the first time we had actually hugged.
Even though it only lasted for a couple of seconds, I was still able to smell the sweet cologne from Quinn’s neck along with the cool fresh scent of his hair.
I couldn’t help thinking of that my hair smelled exactly the same. I had, after all, been using his shampoo and conditioner for the past couple of days.
“So, we okay now?”, he asked, ending the hug.
“Never been better”, I responded, giving him a shy smile.
“Great! So I’ll see you after the gig, okay?”
“Sure”.
As Quinn took his guitar which was leaned to the wall next to me, he gave me a smile along with what you almost could call a confirming nod.
It confused me, but at the same time I didn’t bother trying to analyze it.
While he was walking towards the small room between the backstage and the stage, I saw Dan walking behind him, smiling at me as he gave me thumb up.
When they approached the small room, I could hear people, the audience, scream.
I guess they had spotted Quinn and Dan back there.
For each scream that was heard, the guys were grinning ever more. It looked like they were enjoying it.
They were enjoying the feeling of being wanted.
“Hellooo”, a deep voice said from behind me. It was Jepha, eating a carrot.
“Hey!”, I said, taking some of my hair behind my ear.
“What’s up?”, he asked as he sat down next to me kneeling.
“Oh, nothing much. I’m just gonna sit here and watch you guys”.
“Yeah, sounds rad”.
“So, what’s up with you guys changing the playlist at the last minute?”
“I have no fucking idea”, Jepha answered, chewing on his carrot.
“It was Bert’s idea, actually. He said he wanted to go with the soft songs tonight. It felt right.”
“Oh, okay. Well, is that a bad thing, then?”
“No, of course not. It’s just that we’ve never done that before, like, changing the playlist that drastically and at least not at the last minute like we did tonight”.
“I see. You’re gonna rock anyway, though, so no worries there”.
“Haha”, Jepha said, rubbing my head with his hand as he was holding his bass with the other.
“Oh, I gotta go plug in the bass. Catch you later”.
As I was sitting there alone again, on the slightly dusty backstage floor, I kept wondering where Bert was.
I hadn’t seen him since we came inside and when he was about to get styled, so where could he be?
I started looking around from where I was sitting, trying to see if I could find Bert.
But I couldn’t. I couldn’t spot him anywhere.
I didn’t bother asking the other guys whether they’d seen him or not. They were busy plugging in their gear.
So therefore, I started walking around, trying to look for him.
I went by the music instruments at the rear end of the backstage area, checking all the rooms that I knew where there, asked around to hear if anyone had seen him, but no. No one had.
I scratched my head, trying as hard as I could to think of where Bert could be, and it wasn’t until a security guard came inside the main door that I realized that Bert might be outside.
I walked to the door, opened it and gazed out.
I was correct; there he was, kneeling while smoking a cigarette.
There was no one else around, just him, all alone.
“Hey”, I said. “I’ve been looking all over for you”.
“Oh, you have? Sorry, I was out here. I needed fresh air”.
“That’s okay. Are you ready for the gig tonight?”
“Yeah, I guess. I changed the playlist just earlier now”.
“I heard that. Can I ask why?”, I asked, sitting down next to him on the gray asphalt which the sun had heated up during the day.
“It just felt right, you know”, Bert started, inhaling his cigarette before blowing some of the smoke out.
“After these past couple of days, with you and the guys and all, it just feels right to be playing some of our soft songs tonight”.
I melted inside. The way he said it, it was so humble and fragile. So vulnerable.
♠ ♠ ♠
i'm actually not going to say anything right now.damn, i just did. oh, well. (:
what did you think of the update?
xo,
lina.