The Biggest Fan
Feelings.
I was feeling proud at that point; being able to make a decent meal that I actually took the initiative to make on my own.
It was a meal that was being appreciated, a meal that I myself had made.
I hadn’t felt like that before, not once in my 18-year-old life.
It felt good being acknowledged for something like that, for the first time in my life.
“God, this was good!”, Quinn said, finishing his fourth pancake.
“Fuck, yeah”, Bert agreed, still eating his third one.
‘Not much of a big eater’, my ass. Bert could’ve eaten a horse right now if he had the chance.
“Pass the bacon, could ya?”, Dan asked, sprinkling some sugar on his what I think was his fifth pancake.
“Here”, I said, before handing him the jar of sugar.
I never had much of an appetite in the morning when I’d just woken up, but I managed to eat three pancakes.
It had been a long time since I last ate pancakes and, man, did it taste good.
“Someone’s gonna eat that?”, Jepha asked, pointing at the last pancake that was lying on the big plate in the middle of the table.
“Nah, you take it. I think we’ve all had enough”, I said, looking around the table.
We all looked pretty bloated at that point.
“Thanks!”, he replied, grabbing the pancake, making it his fifth and final one.
As I gazed out of the window down the hall, I noticed we were still on the ship on our way to the US.
“Hey, guys, when are we arriving mainland, I mean, the US?”
“Well, we are actually there already since we’re in international water, but it’ll take another night before we reach mainland”, Jepha replied, chewing on his last piece of pancake.
He must’ve been hungry as hell, almost finishing that pancake just now.
“Oh, cool. Which city are we arriving in?”
“Frisco, baby”, Bert answered me grinning.
“As in San Francisco?”
“Yeah, stupid”, he said, bumping into me with his shoulder.
I hated being Norwegian, not knowing the abbreviations of US cities.
“Would it be okay if we maybe could head out of the bus and go up to the decks or-”
“No”, Jepha interrupted. “We need to stay in the bus. Stupid fuckin´ safety policy”.
“Oh, I see. That sucks”, I said, before receiving a dismal nod from him.
“Well, since we’re all done here, let’s clean up”, Quinn suddenly said, gathering all the empty jam and bacon fat covered plates and carrying them to the kitchen area.
“Hey, Lina, wanna do the dishes with me again?”
“Oh, fuck no, Quinn. Lina’s done enough already, including getting attacked by you, you soap monster. Me and Dan’ll do it this time, right, Dan?”
“Sure…”, Dan replied, following Jepha into the kitchen.
‘Soap monster’. Now that was funny.
“Hey, wanna go play a video game?”, Bert asked me, stretching himself while yawning. “I’m bored as hell”.
“Sure”, I responded. “Wanna join, Quinn?”
“No, thanks. I think I’mma lay down for a while. Your breakfast was awesome and I think I ate too much”.
“Oh. Okay, then”, I said with a smile, before walking towards Bert who already had pulled out the X-box console from its shelf.
“So, whaddaya wanna play?”, he asked, taking out a couple of games.
“I don’t know”, I responded, sitting down next to him on the carpet floor.
“I’ve got skating games like Tony Hawk and some zombie games like we played yesterday. I’ve also got some snowboarding games-”
“Let’s play a snowboarding game! What’s that? Amped 2? Hey, I got that game at home. Let’s play that”, I said excited as I took a controller and sat down on the king-size bed.
“Haha, you’re weird”, Bert said with a smile, placing the CD in the console before pushing the ‘on’ button.
As the game was loaded, Bert selected multiple players and we both picked out a character and chose a slope.
“Okay, so are you good at this or what?”
“Well, I don’t suck if that’s what you mean”, I responded, hiding a smile as I was focusing on the TV screen.
“Couldn’t dream of it”, he said, giving me a very suspicious smile.
Before I knew it, the game was on and I started pretty bad.
I fell during the first two feet of the slope and I was in for a bumpy ride there and then.
“Better watch out. I’m already 2000 points ahead of you!”
“Cheater!”, I commented, bumping into his shoulder, making him drop his controller on the floor.
“Hey, I dropped my controller! You’re in big trouble, missy!”, he screamed, jumping on me from where he was sitting and started to play-wrestle with me so also I lost my controller on the floor.
I screamed and laughed simultaneously, telling Bert to stop between my breaths.
He held my arms down as he was sitting on my stomach over me in a crouched position.
“You give up?”, he asked, gripping around my wrists while looking into my eyes with a victorious smile.
“Never!”, I said, trying to wiggle myself out of his grip.
“Okay, so that’s how you want it?”, Bert asked, before he suddenly started to tingle me.
I’d lost. There was no way I could ever survive the death of the tingling. I was too damn ticklish.
I was now laughing so hard, I felt my eyes were running.
“You surrender?”, he asked, now facing me.
“Yes…”
I could feel his breath all over my face.
We just lay there now. Bert was only 5 inches away from my face, staring into my eyes.
It wasn’t until now that I realized that also his eyes were changing depending on the light.
This was starting to get uncomfortable as we were just looking at each other, not knowing what to say or do.
At that point, all I wanted to do was to kiss him, but I knew that it wouldn’t be the right thing to do.
I didn’t have those feelings for him there and then and I got caught up in the moment.
Then he suddenly climbed off of me, giving me an awkward smile, before looking in another direction.
I did exactly the same thing.
“Looks like you won”, I said in an attempt of breaking the silence.
“Yeah, looks like it”, Bert replied, scratching his neck.
“Okay, that felt weird”.
I couldn’t ignore what had just happened.
“Yeah, it did”.
“But we were just playing around, right?”
“Totally”.
As much as I wanted to believe that, I knew it wasn’t true.
“No, we weren’t. We gotta stop fooling ourselves. Bert, what’s going on?”
I needed an explanation and I needed it now.
“I don’t know. I really don’t know. I just need some time, okay?”
“Sure”, I said, giving him an understanding smile.
He wasn’t doing so well now. I could tell. I knew him all too well to know that.
We had cleared things out. Now, I just needed to give him some space.
That was all I could do at this point.
A small pause occurred where there was a total silence between us.
Bert broke it as he once again continued talking, hesitating while fumbling with his thumbs.
“Ever since you came”, I’ve been starting to feel these weird feelings. Feelings I never thought I’d feel again. Not since-”
He stopped there. He always did that when he talked about what had happened before.
What had happened in Bert’s past that was so hard to talk about?
I didn’t know why and it was tearing me up.
It was a meal that was being appreciated, a meal that I myself had made.
I hadn’t felt like that before, not once in my 18-year-old life.
It felt good being acknowledged for something like that, for the first time in my life.
“God, this was good!”, Quinn said, finishing his fourth pancake.
“Fuck, yeah”, Bert agreed, still eating his third one.
‘Not much of a big eater’, my ass. Bert could’ve eaten a horse right now if he had the chance.
“Pass the bacon, could ya?”, Dan asked, sprinkling some sugar on his what I think was his fifth pancake.
“Here”, I said, before handing him the jar of sugar.
I never had much of an appetite in the morning when I’d just woken up, but I managed to eat three pancakes.
It had been a long time since I last ate pancakes and, man, did it taste good.
“Someone’s gonna eat that?”, Jepha asked, pointing at the last pancake that was lying on the big plate in the middle of the table.
“Nah, you take it. I think we’ve all had enough”, I said, looking around the table.
We all looked pretty bloated at that point.
“Thanks!”, he replied, grabbing the pancake, making it his fifth and final one.
As I gazed out of the window down the hall, I noticed we were still on the ship on our way to the US.
“Hey, guys, when are we arriving mainland, I mean, the US?”
“Well, we are actually there already since we’re in international water, but it’ll take another night before we reach mainland”, Jepha replied, chewing on his last piece of pancake.
He must’ve been hungry as hell, almost finishing that pancake just now.
“Oh, cool. Which city are we arriving in?”
“Frisco, baby”, Bert answered me grinning.
“As in San Francisco?”
“Yeah, stupid”, he said, bumping into me with his shoulder.
I hated being Norwegian, not knowing the abbreviations of US cities.
“Would it be okay if we maybe could head out of the bus and go up to the decks or-”
“No”, Jepha interrupted. “We need to stay in the bus. Stupid fuckin´ safety policy”.
“Oh, I see. That sucks”, I said, before receiving a dismal nod from him.
“Well, since we’re all done here, let’s clean up”, Quinn suddenly said, gathering all the empty jam and bacon fat covered plates and carrying them to the kitchen area.
“Hey, Lina, wanna do the dishes with me again?”
“Oh, fuck no, Quinn. Lina’s done enough already, including getting attacked by you, you soap monster. Me and Dan’ll do it this time, right, Dan?”
“Sure…”, Dan replied, following Jepha into the kitchen.
‘Soap monster’. Now that was funny.
“Hey, wanna go play a video game?”, Bert asked me, stretching himself while yawning. “I’m bored as hell”.
“Sure”, I responded. “Wanna join, Quinn?”
“No, thanks. I think I’mma lay down for a while. Your breakfast was awesome and I think I ate too much”.
“Oh. Okay, then”, I said with a smile, before walking towards Bert who already had pulled out the X-box console from its shelf.
“So, whaddaya wanna play?”, he asked, taking out a couple of games.
“I don’t know”, I responded, sitting down next to him on the carpet floor.
“I’ve got skating games like Tony Hawk and some zombie games like we played yesterday. I’ve also got some snowboarding games-”
“Let’s play a snowboarding game! What’s that? Amped 2? Hey, I got that game at home. Let’s play that”, I said excited as I took a controller and sat down on the king-size bed.
“Haha, you’re weird”, Bert said with a smile, placing the CD in the console before pushing the ‘on’ button.
As the game was loaded, Bert selected multiple players and we both picked out a character and chose a slope.
“Okay, so are you good at this or what?”
“Well, I don’t suck if that’s what you mean”, I responded, hiding a smile as I was focusing on the TV screen.
“Couldn’t dream of it”, he said, giving me a very suspicious smile.
Before I knew it, the game was on and I started pretty bad.
I fell during the first two feet of the slope and I was in for a bumpy ride there and then.
“Better watch out. I’m already 2000 points ahead of you!”
“Cheater!”, I commented, bumping into his shoulder, making him drop his controller on the floor.
“Hey, I dropped my controller! You’re in big trouble, missy!”, he screamed, jumping on me from where he was sitting and started to play-wrestle with me so also I lost my controller on the floor.
I screamed and laughed simultaneously, telling Bert to stop between my breaths.
He held my arms down as he was sitting on my stomach over me in a crouched position.
“You give up?”, he asked, gripping around my wrists while looking into my eyes with a victorious smile.
“Never!”, I said, trying to wiggle myself out of his grip.
“Okay, so that’s how you want it?”, Bert asked, before he suddenly started to tingle me.
I’d lost. There was no way I could ever survive the death of the tingling. I was too damn ticklish.
I was now laughing so hard, I felt my eyes were running.
“You surrender?”, he asked, now facing me.
“Yes…”
I could feel his breath all over my face.
We just lay there now. Bert was only 5 inches away from my face, staring into my eyes.
It wasn’t until now that I realized that also his eyes were changing depending on the light.
This was starting to get uncomfortable as we were just looking at each other, not knowing what to say or do.
At that point, all I wanted to do was to kiss him, but I knew that it wouldn’t be the right thing to do.
I didn’t have those feelings for him there and then and I got caught up in the moment.
Then he suddenly climbed off of me, giving me an awkward smile, before looking in another direction.
I did exactly the same thing.
“Looks like you won”, I said in an attempt of breaking the silence.
“Yeah, looks like it”, Bert replied, scratching his neck.
“Okay, that felt weird”.
I couldn’t ignore what had just happened.
“Yeah, it did”.
“But we were just playing around, right?”
“Totally”.
As much as I wanted to believe that, I knew it wasn’t true.
“No, we weren’t. We gotta stop fooling ourselves. Bert, what’s going on?”
I needed an explanation and I needed it now.
“I don’t know. I really don’t know. I just need some time, okay?”
“Sure”, I said, giving him an understanding smile.
He wasn’t doing so well now. I could tell. I knew him all too well to know that.
We had cleared things out. Now, I just needed to give him some space.
That was all I could do at this point.
A small pause occurred where there was a total silence between us.
Bert broke it as he once again continued talking, hesitating while fumbling with his thumbs.
“Ever since you came”, I’ve been starting to feel these weird feelings. Feelings I never thought I’d feel again. Not since-”
He stopped there. He always did that when he talked about what had happened before.
What had happened in Bert’s past that was so hard to talk about?
I didn’t know why and it was tearing me up.
♠ ♠ ♠
i think this was a long update.i felt like it 'cause there were a lot of details
that needed to be put into this update.
so therefore, i hope you liked it, guys. (:
xo,
lina.