How Funny.
Kerrang 1214.
It makes me laugh how I panic over writing this; checking, double checking and triple checking, making sure it's as good as it can be, until...Fuck it, I think. Fuck it. And I go back and delete everything I wrote and start afresh with this.
It makes me laugh how I smile wryly and hope you will read this mess, this excuse for a chapter. Compared to the rest, it is like a two-year-old's first words. It doesn't make sense.
It makes me laugh how I have no clue what to write. Everyone else has all these amazing experiences, whereas I've never met you, seen you in real life or been to a concert. Never had any life changing experiences, never conquered anything. Nope. None. Zero. Zilch. MCR didn't save my life, I've never been truly depressed, I've never done anything admirable. Nothing.
So what do I write about?
...I suppose the the closest thing I've had to being ''connected'' to you five people. May 31st 2008.
I can practically hear the groans as people realise what I'm going to talk about. It's a tired subject now.
How funny. Something that was supposed to be the ''uniting of fans'' had equally driven the fans apart. There were people who were so for it, and then there were people who thought it was pointless.
It makes me laugh that, even though I see it did nothing, it was still the best two weeks of my life. At least I met new people through it, some of them now my closest friends.
It makes me laugh how I barely know them, yet they still mean so fucking much.
It makes me laugh that it was such an amazing experience for me. So exhilarating to be a part of something that had made it to the news, something that was international. And I was one of four. Frank,, they'd laughed and called me, making fun of the fact that I was the youngest - and shortest.
It makes me laugh that even as the threat of being stalked loomed close, I was happy. Even as our site was raeped, I was excited. The best two weeks of my life. It was mind-blowing to see my friend on TV, to be interviewed by so many people and not think anything of it. It's definitely not as mind-blowing as being one of you, but it's the closest I got to it. It was almost as if we were famous. I had people stopping me on the streets in my town, asking me if I was one of the four.
It makes me smile as I read the rest of these chapters, and I see how much this band has influenced people. How much you mean to us. How much we confess to you.
It makes me laugh how fucking scared I get to post this.
Fuck it.
It makes me laugh how I smile wryly and hope you will read this mess, this excuse for a chapter. Compared to the rest, it is like a two-year-old's first words. It doesn't make sense.
It makes me laugh how I have no clue what to write. Everyone else has all these amazing experiences, whereas I've never met you, seen you in real life or been to a concert. Never had any life changing experiences, never conquered anything. Nope. None. Zero. Zilch. MCR didn't save my life, I've never been truly depressed, I've never done anything admirable. Nothing.
So what do I write about?
...I suppose the the closest thing I've had to being ''connected'' to you five people. May 31st 2008.
I can practically hear the groans as people realise what I'm going to talk about. It's a tired subject now.
How funny. Something that was supposed to be the ''uniting of fans'' had equally driven the fans apart. There were people who were so for it, and then there were people who thought it was pointless.
It makes me laugh that, even though I see it did nothing, it was still the best two weeks of my life. At least I met new people through it, some of them now my closest friends.
It makes me laugh how I barely know them, yet they still mean so fucking much.
It makes me laugh that it was such an amazing experience for me. So exhilarating to be a part of something that had made it to the news, something that was international. And I was one of four. Frank,, they'd laughed and called me, making fun of the fact that I was the youngest - and shortest.
It makes me laugh that even as the threat of being stalked loomed close, I was happy. Even as our site was raeped, I was excited. The best two weeks of my life. It was mind-blowing to see my friend on TV, to be interviewed by so many people and not think anything of it. It's definitely not as mind-blowing as being one of you, but it's the closest I got to it. It was almost as if we were famous. I had people stopping me on the streets in my town, asking me if I was one of the four.
It makes me smile as I read the rest of these chapters, and I see how much this band has influenced people. How much you mean to us. How much we confess to you.
It makes me laugh how fucking scared I get to post this.
Fuck it.