My Secret Valentine

I was woken by loud laughing and my eyes slowly flickered open. For a moment I couldn’t remember where I was or how I had gotten there. Then it all came rushing back to me. I had fucked up. Marjorly fucked up. I rubbed my eyes and noticed that I was alone in the bunk and that Travis was gone. I stumbled out of the bunk and wondered out into the kitchen/lounge.
There was instant silence when they all (Danny, Drew, Hunter, Travis, and Alex) noticed me. I must have looked like shit, I was still in my clothes from last night and my eyes were all puffy and red from crying all night.
“Heeeeeyyy, Rach.” Danny smiled softly from the couch.
“Hi guys.” I said, and then winced at the sound of my own voice. It was broken and rough and it showed the pain I was feeling.
Alex jumped up and walked the few steps to me and enveloped me in a tight and quick hug. But it told me everything I needed to know, he was here for me and he loved me.
“Thanks,” I sighed and Alex kissed me on the forehead.
“How are you feeling?” Travis asked me, concern written all over his face.
“Pretty shit,” I said as I slid into his lap.
“He already feels bad, Rach.” Alex said.
“Well I bet I feel worse.” I sighed and hid my face in Travis’s shoulder and he rubbed my back. “I wanna talk to him, but I don’t wanna talk to him.”
“You don’t have to until you are completely sure that you do.” Hunter said, sympathetically.
“We’re here for you no matter what.” Drew nodded.
“Thanks guys.”

I wandered through the maze of buses and people later that day like I was in a fog or one some heavy drug. I reacted to nothing and people were giving me weird looks. I still hadn’t changed and my clothes were all wrinkled and dirty. I looked like a strange kind of homeless person.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and I slowly turned around to see Jack looking down at me. Oh no.
“Jack, I’m so sorry I–” I started to say but he cut me off.
“Don’t apologize Rachel.” He sighed and rubbed his neck. “I over reacted. I just wasn’t suspecting it. You had told me you weren’t seeing anyone and–”
“I should have told you! I was going to tell you, but every time that I was going to, something came up. Like, last night I was gonna tell you right when Austin called you over.” I sighed and I felt the tears coming on.
“Oh, don’t cry, Rach. Please don’t cry.” Jack said and immediately hugged me. “I feel so unbelievably bad that I made you cry. I acted like an asshole. I should have let you explain.”
“I won’t argue with you there.” I mumbled into his chest and he chucked a little.
“You look like shit.” He said, holding me at arms length.
“Thanks.” I sighed and wiped my eyes.
“Aw, come on; let’s go back to the bus. Plus I want to go and apologize. I hope that he doesn’t beat the shit out of me before I can apologize though.”
“He won’t beat you up. I won’t let him.” I said and Jack hugged me again.
“I love you Rach, you’re the best sister anyone could ask for.”
“I love you too, Jack.” I said and smiled for the first time in a day. He held onto me tighter and I knew that he was putting every ounce of love into that hug.
We always made up in a matter of days. That was a great thing about us. We could be furious with each other, but we would be laughing and hugging within a few hours.
Travis was right and I’m so happy to have my big brother back.