But... What About the Band?

Khadijah's POV

“Hey Viv...you guys are almost here? Have food ready? Who the hell do you think you are?!?” I was yelling at Vivien, who was on her way home from the airport with her boyfriend and his friends. “Lunch for us plus 3...what do you mean 3, there's 5 of-” I was cut off as Vivien hung up the phone.

“What was that all about?” asked Asia.

“Vivien's making me make lunch for her dumb boyfriend and his friends.” I said grumpily. I then turned to Asia. “But she said there were only 3 of them...I could have sworn there were 5.”

“There are 5.” chimed in Hayley as she bit into an apple. “Mikey, Gerard, Frank, Bob, and Ray.”

“You know them well.” said Spencer, smirking.

“Hush your mouth.” Hayley smiled and flicked the stem of the apple at him.

“Someone's knocking on the door, you lovebird.” said Brendon.

“Then get it!” The lovebird said back.

“Okkkaay...” said Brendon.

Brendon went to the door and in walked Vivien, her boyfriend, Gerard, his brother Mikey, and their friend, Frank. The trio were all clad in black. I knew the guys from previous engagements. Gerard was very...cocky. A self righteous person who thought the world...of himself. Mikey was a pretty laidback dude. Although he was significantly taller than Gerard, he was younger and generally Gerard's tag-along. Frank was also short, for a guy, that is. He was a cool dude...that is until you made him mad.

“Hey Gereerrdd!!” I let my voice trail off. Asia and I laughed hysterically. I saw Gerard's face growing red and everyone staring at us.

“It's an insider.” Asia and I stated once we contained ourselves.

“You girls are pathetic.” Gerard snarled at us. “Vivien, baby, I don't see how you live with them.”

“Hi Mikey! Hi Frank!” Asia and I hugged the guys.

“Didn't Frank...I don't know...shrink since the last time we saw them?” Vivien laughed.

“I really don't get why you're laughing.” said Asia, looking annoyed. “Your boyfriend's pretty short himself.” A true statement.

“Whatever-” started Vivien, only to be cut off.

“Oh yes!” I said. “Let me introduce our houseguests! Hayley, Spencer, Brendon, this is Gerard, Mikey, and Frank.” I pointed to each person as I said their name, saving me the energy of individual introductions.

“Pleased to met you all.” Mikey said as everyone shook hands and exchanged 'hello’s.

“Yes, yes, I'm sure you've all heard of me.” said Gerard, smiling.

“Actually, I've never heard you perform before.” said Spencer.

“Dude, my voice is so unique that NO ONE can mimic it.”

Asia and I smirked at each other.

Gerard took a seat at our table and propped his feet up. I hate his high and mighty airs.

“I thought there was gonna be food here, Viv.” Gerard complained.

“Could you please remove your filthy ass combat boots off of our table?” Asia asked.

“And we don't wear shoes in here...you should know that.” I said. “Plus, I'm not Vivien's fucking maid.”

“I frankly don't give a damn, just get me some food.”

“Make me.”

“Calm down, guys!” said Mikey, who seemed to be acting a bit standoffish since he got in our apartment.

“By the way, where's Bob and Ray?” I asked.

“Ummm...” said Mikey.

“Ehhh...” said Frank.

“Gosh, you two are such pussies!” said Gerard. “I kicked the faggots out of the band!”

“Why?” asked Hayley.

“Because they were gay!” said Frank. “Isn't he impossible?”

“I just didn't wanna get raped, ya know?”

Everyone in the room shook their head. We knew Gerard was ignorant, but not so stupid as to put his lead guitarist and drummer out of the band. We all stared at him.

“What!? I wasn't looking to get ass fucked!” Everyone just looked at him. He banged his hand on the table and widened his eyes. “What?!”

I sighed. “I'll get us some lunch.”

Vivien and I made sandwiches in the kitchen while Brendon served as our busboy, taking everyone’s orders and bringing them their food. Gerard, of course, had to be the difficult one.

“I want my bread lightly toasted; mayo- no, miracle whip; no more, no less than 3 pickles; 1 tomato slice; don't you dare drown my sandwich in mustard; warm up my turkey...fry it for about a minute; shred my lettuce; two slices of Swiss cheese and one slice of sharp cheddar.”

Brendon looked kind of hazy once he brought the order to me. He shrugged his shoulders when I looked from the order to him and, once again, to the ridiculous order.

“Why do you have to be the difficult one!?!” I screamed to Gerard, who was in the living room near the front door, making a call to their publicist to tell them about how and why he kicked out Bob and Ray.

“Hold on...” Gerard said into the phone. “Just make the fucking sandwich, alright?” He went back to his phone call.

I threw the paper at Vivien. “You're making your boyfriends “special order”.

“He's such a sweetie, isn't he?” said Vivien, smiling like a lovesick puppy.

“In your blind eyes, I guess so.” I bitterly uttered back. I finished making my sandwich and Brendon's sandwich and went out to sit with people who weren't so oblivious to the fact that their boyfriend was an annoying prick.

“Hey guys.” I passed Brendon his sandwich and sat down in the computer swivel chair, giving myself a whirl. “What's up?”

“We were trying to see if there was something fun open today.” said Spencer, flicking through the magazine. “After all, it's a Sunday.”

“There's plenty of stuff open today.” I replied. “Stuff just closes a tad bit early, at like 6, I think.” I looked at the computer screen; it was nearing 1 o' clock.

“Don't chose anywhere to go without me!” Gerard yelled once he had put his hand over the mic of the phone.

“Is he always...like that?” Brendon asked.

“Yes!” answered Frank. “And it just makes me sick!”

“Why are you guys still with him then?” asked Hayley, twirling a piece of orange hair at her fingertip. “You guys can just leave him, can't you?”

“I'm his brother.” said Mikey. He seemed to be squinting his eyes behind his glasses, trying to find other reasons. “Even though he's older, I kind of feel obligated to, ya know, watch over him.”

“And to protect his from getting his fucking face bashed in by his own stupidity.” finished Asia, rolling her eyes.

“That's my job.” laughed Frank.

“Our band broke up, too” said Spencer in a sad tone.

“The other two went off and got married.” said Brendon.

“Another situation with homos?” yelled Gerard.

“WOULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!?” everyone yelled in unison. The crowd was obviously getting agitated with his endless ignorance.

“Whatever.” Gerard yelled. “I do what I want, when I want.”

“And if you keep on, your heads gonna lose its proper place on your body!” Asia yelled back.

“Still got that temper, eh?” asked Hayley.

“If you mean my distinguishing personality trait, then yes.” said Asia. “Hey Deeja, Gereeerrds off the phone. Wanna carry out the plan?

“My pleasure.” I replied with a catlike grin.

As Gerard came over, we started to carry out the plan.

“Hey, you wanna hear me sing?” I asked.

Everyone looked around in a puzzled sort of way.

“She's really good!” said Asia enthusiastically.

“Um...okay...” our audience mumbled back.

“Wait for me!” said Gerard, running over to the sofa and edging his way between Frank and Mikey. “I want to hear her royal shortness embarrass herself!”

He's in for a surprise.

“Alright, here I go:
Mama, we all go to hell
Mama, we all go to hell
I'm writing this letter
and wishing you well
Mama, we all go to hell”

Gerard looked dumbstruck. I smiled proudly. Mikey and Frank were dying of laughter.

“You sound exactly like him!” he duo screamed. It was, for some odd reason, hysterical to them.

“You do sound just like him!” yelled Vivien, who had finally finished with her boyfriends “special order”, as well as her own sandwich. “That's so goddamn creepy!”

Brendon, Spencer, Hayley, and Asia clapped.

Gerard, on the other hand, looked at me angrily, and then looked gravely at the remaining 2 members of his band.

“Remind me to get my fucking voice copyrighted and trademarked and whatever else keeps people from using my voice and sounding like me.” He got up and took Vivien's hand, as well as his sandwich. “And tomorrow, look for the story of our bands breakup in every major newspaper, magazine, and unreliable tabloid.” He stopped, as if in thought. “Oh yeah, and CNN.” He smiled an evil grin.

“You cynical asshole.” I sneered.