Lovebug

The car ride home was silent. I didn’t want to speak, I didn’t want to listen. I didn’t even want to think. My first thought when approaching the car was to curl up in the trunk and die, but I refrained from that and decided to take my seat next to James. Staring out the window, I gazed at the stars above, oh how I envied them for being so far away.

As we pulled into my driveway, James’ sister said my good bye, and I thanked her graciously for driving us there and back. She nodded as I stepped out of the car. James got out too, I guessed to walk me to the door.

Wonderful.

We nearly reached my doorstep when he finally spoke, revealing himself more than just a creeper following behind me.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. I turned around. He looked up at me with his golden eyes.

You’re…Sorry? You nearly punched out my best friend, my, my-

“I’m sorry for being an ass to your…” he paused, “friend. I got carried away, I just got jealous.”

“Whatever,” I sighed, ripping out my house key and sticking it into the door.

“I love you,” he grabbed my wrist. I stared at the ground, turning the knob to go inside, though I couldn’t help but look back at him.

“I love you too…” I whispered unsuredly.

“Good night,” he smiled, and I walked into my dark house.

- - -

I stared up at my ceiling, just thinking. Wondering what really happened back there at the concert. I couldn’t even think about it too long without breaking down and hitting something. I decided my only escape was music.

After an hour of listening to pointless songs, I began to doze off.

“BRR!” I jumped from the shock of the loud noise. I realized it was my phone vibrating on my side table. I grabbed it, my heart still pounding from the sudden outburst. Ripping it open, I saw it was a call. My pounding heart skipped.

It was from Nick.

“Hello?”
“Hey, I’m so sorry about today.”
“It’s fine.”
“No it’s not,” he paused. “I really shouldn’t get in between you too.”
I stayed quiet.
“Syd, I really wanna see you again, before we leave,” he said almost silently, before adding, “to catch up, and talk.”
“I’d like that.”
“What about tomorrow?” he asked.

We talked a bit more, setting up plans for the next day. Though I was happy I’d get to see him without a feud going on around us, I couldn’t help but think that I was doing something wrong.

Should I be meeting up with Nick when I know he’s now my boyfriend’s least favorite person?
No, it shouldn’t matter what James thinks. Nick is my friend.

- - -
On Sunday Nick and I were to meet at a small pizzeria in town around 2pm. In the morning, however, I was occupied with kids at the library’s daycare center, a job I took to fund me for my dreams…like a car, that would be nice. Children weren’t running from all directions, spilling things, breaking things; nothing like you’d usually want to hear. The kids were content, sitting with their little colorful plastic chairs playing with puzzles, whilst other experienced legos and crayons on the floor.

I sat in my metal fold out chair with a list of the kiddies’ names on a clipboard sitting on my lap. I ran down the list of names and thought of what actually keeping one of these minnies would be like. I shrugged off the thought like an ant had crawled on me. Children weren’t on my to-do list.

After a few boo-boos, a couple broke crayons, and an avalanche of animal crackers, my shift had ended around 1:30. I handed the list over to Sam, the girl who filled in for me, and headed toward the front of the library. Right before heading out, I stopped myself and decided to get a book, just in case. I picked Twilight because it was all I’d heard about in school, and I wanted to know what the fuss was.

Arriving at the pizza place I endured no sign of a teen pop sensation, so I bought a small tray of fries, and buckled down into a chair outside of the restaurant. A giant red and white umbrella towered over me from the table that sat next to me as well. It was only 1:45, so that gave me a good fifteen minutes at the least. A Jonas brother could be a very busy person. I began to read.

Reading Twilight began to bore me, mostly because Bella was such a drag. Her personality was close to a rock’s. As for this Edward, he seemed like a creeper. I guess I’d just have to read on to get more out of it.

Continuing to read, I began to feel something pick at my shoe. I looked down to see a pigeon poking microscopic holes into my lace and stared at it peculiarly. It was a beautiful, sun-shiny day out, though the pizzeria was nearly empty; my guess leaving the bird out of lunch. Sighing at the poor bird’s attempt to eat string, I tossed it a fry. It pecked happily, and I went back to reading.

A few sentences later, I was once again interrupted by a pecking at my shoe. Staring down, I saw the begging bird.

“Quite a stomach you have,” I laughed, and tossed it another fry. I looked around through the blazing sun, no sign of him. I checked my phone to see if he had called to cancel-nothing.

I wonder where he was…

My thoughts were interrupted by my pigeon buddy fleeing. My heart jumped by his startled wings. He flew away without even saying good bye! …I mean, without finishing his fry.

“BOO! I heard come behind me. I jumped in terror and felt as if I could fly away just like the bird. The figure behind me laughed and walked around my chair into view. It was Nick. Of course, it was Nick.

“Hey! You scared my friend away!” I complained, closing my book and placing it on the table. Nick took a seat across from me. He wore jeans and a flannel button-down, not without his big black sunglasses. I never understood why those boys thought they couldn’t be recognized with them on…

“I’m sorry, but if you kept feeding him those, we would’ve needed a bird obesity chart,” he laughed, pointing at my greasy fries.

“FUNNY,” I rolled my eyes, shoving one hastily into my mouth. “Anyway, how’ve you been? How’s touring?”

“Oh. It’s been great. I’ve always loved touring…” he said solemnly.

“Then why do you sound so uninterested about it?” I questioned.

“It’s just…I got other things on my mind,” he stared up into the blue sky. His hair flopped around in the light wind.

“Hm,” I stared. “Like what?”

“Stuff…” he didn’t look at me. “Hey, wanna go for a walk?”

“Sure,” I shrugged.

- - -
We ended up walking down to the park next to the library. The hedges made a sort of slight maze, and as we walked, we talked about everything. We reminisced of spring break and it made me miss those times so much more.

“Man, I missed seeing you,” he said as we made our way to a bench.

“I missed it, too,” I sighed. “I think you should take me with you on tour,” I laughed, taking a seat next to him.

“Yeah, we’ll shove you in a suitcase and everything!” He laughed, too.

“Hm,” I smiled, then looked down to the neat pathway we had walked on together to get to this point. I followed it up with my eyes; it winded and twisted and areas bumped out like obstacles. A colorful shape caught my eye, floating in the sky. A kite had been afloat and could be seen over the hedges. It soared like a high spirit, a good omen.

“Sydney…” I heard him speak under his breath. I looked up at him as he stared into my eyes. They were the same hazel I’d seen yesterday and the months before, yet stronger…as if I could drown myself in them while trying to find the purpose behind their stare.

I did drown. I was lost. He kissed me gently, and we held for a few moments. As he withdrew from my lips, I felt them tingle, wanting more. My mind was foggy and only concentrated on that moment.

“Ah-” I tried to speak but the words didn’t come.

“Sydney, I-I wanna be with you.” My head stopped spinning. I turned toward the sky again. The kite that soared in the blue mesh just a few minutes ago, I watched plummet to the ground, losing sight past the green hedge.

“Nick…”

“Sydney.” He reached for my hand. I pulled away.

“I…You and me…we’re not supposed to be this way.” I blurted out.

He looked at me with a curious, yet confused look, “What?”

“Nicholas, you’re a star. You have a life outside of my little town. You don’t have any boundaries…and you could have anyone you’d like.” I watched his face change from curious to stern and not wanting to hear more. Still, I continued. “As for me, I’m prone to this little town, and little life. We live such different lives…there isn’t a way it could work.” By now I was rambling, trying to convince myself. Then I realized the exact reason. “And James.”

Nick’s face became harsher now, from stern to hurt.

“Do you love him?”

“Shouldn’t I?” I contradicted.

“Do you?”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, standing up. “I have to go.” I walked away, backtracking that same broken path I walked with him from before.