Where Do I Begin? All I Know Is Gone

It was odd waking up without those familiar arms holding me. Over the last week or so I'd really gotten used to Padge being there beside me when I woke up. This lack of his presence was something I knew I had to get used to again, since in a few days I'd be saying goodbye to him and the rest of the guys for a few months. I'd have no choice but to sleep alone, with just my thoughts to keep me company.

There was a note waiting for me on the kitchen counter I discovered as I made my way into the room in search of food. Nothing more than I already knew, Padge was at the rehearsal and Bailey would be over later to take me shopping. We'd arranged that on Saturday, deciding I needed some personal items to add to my room now that I was a permanent guest. I'm not much of a shopper, but it was an excuse to look at pretty things and pretend I had somewhere to house them. In reality, I was only looking for a few smaller items like picture frames and maybe a few trinkets and shelves.

The closet in my room was rather small, with barely enough room for my two suitcases to sit inside, let alone fit my clothing along the hangers. There was enough room at the far end of the room for a set of shelves to put my clothes in, so that is what our main mission was. Drawers were my second option, if I couldn't find a set of shelves that would suit my needs. I like to be able to see what my options are when I'm picking out my clothing, yet I'm not a fan of hanging t-shirts or jeans, therefore shelves work for me. At this point though, I'll take anything over living out of suitcases any longer.

Bailey arrived with perfect timing, just as I'd descended the stairs after getting dressed. She had Ben in tow too, as an added extra. I didn’t know how we'd been roped into babysitting, but Ben was a fun kid, and as far as I'd observed, didn't cause trouble or throw tantrums.

"Hey little man," I greeted as he ran into the house, excitedly clapping his hands as he went. "What are you so excited about?"

Following him through to the kitchen where I'd placed my purse and keys I waited for an answer. "I get to go with you and Aunty Bailey and then we're gunna surprise my daddy," he spoke through his large grin while he climbed onto one of the stools next to the counter.

Looking to Bailey for an explanation, she told me how Keri had gone to visit her mother, who'd come down with a cold, but didn't want to risk the kids getting sick. Sara had offered to look after them both, but after finding out that Bailey and I were apparently stopping by the practice warehouse after our shopping trip Bed had decided he wanted to tag along. I guess it also got a little tiring for him being the only male spawn.

It only took us three hours to find everything I was after, and that included a lunch break. We'd basically stuck to furniture shops and then hit up a few giftware type places to buy the more trivial items. Bailey had jokingly thrown a set of pink, fluffy toy handcuffs at me in one shop, which led to an embarrassing explanation to Ben, who wanted to know why they were fluffy. He was rather pleased that I wasn't a fan of pink though, since it was far too girly a colour for his tastes. He was a typical boy in that sense, a lover of blues and greens. He had fun picking out my new bed ware though, taking his role as Chief Decorator quite seriously.

"Which one do you think?" I asked the young boy clinging to my back as Bailey held up two different designs of bedspreads.

"Well," he paused to put one finger to his chin. "The purple one is bright and pretty, and I like the green one cos it has circles." He thought a little more, finger now outstretched, moving between the two packages that were still being displayed before us. "You should get the purple one because Uncle Padge likes purple."

He said it with such innocence, but I had a hard time containing the groan that made its way to my throat. Rolling my eyes at Bailey as she chuckled quietly at my aggravation, I took a deep breath to calm me down. "Have you been talking to Uncle Jay?" I asked Ben, placing him back down onto the floor of the shop so we could walk to the checkouts.

His face showed pure puzzlement, eyebrows scrunched in confusion as he took hold of Bailey's outstretched hand. "No, why?"

"Because you think a lot like the way he does, little man. I think I'm going to end up punching Jay if he has any more observations to make about whatever he thinks is going on," I directed towards Bailey.

Again she laughed at my irritation, "You know you wouldn't be here without him. I think he just likes annoying you, although maybe he does see something that no one else does. Who knows what really goes on in that mind of his?"

x

Arriving at the warehouse, Ben instructed us to be quiet as we snuck in. Once we were safely through the side door undetected he took his opportunity to run, screaming at the top of his lungs, straight towards his father who was the closest band member. At the first realisation of the foreign noise all playing was halted, as the guys turned to find the intruder, smiles breaking out at the young boy they found.

Moose was almost tackled out of his seat by the sheer force his son had launched himself towards him at. Matt was the first to notice Ben wasn't by himself, which makes you wonder how the other three thought he'd gotten there by himself. Sheepish waves and grins were offered as we took our seats on the couch I'd come accustomed to occupying as we made small talk. Ben came back to join us while we waited for the final few songs to be played through before the session was declared over.

As Matt and Bailey talked on the couch and Moose played with his son, I decided to help out with packing up some of the gear, knowing how boring a job it was. There's nothing less exciting that rolling up cords, believe me. At least these ones didn't need tape stripped off of them beforehand so it wasn't as big of a job as after an actual show.

"Thanks," Padge smiled as I handed him his leads once I was done with them.

I could see Jay smirking into his case behind Padge, but chose to ignore him for the moment. "No worries, I know it can be a pain. That's why you have roadies, right?"

"Something like that, yea."

I moved on to helping Jay pack up the last of his things since he was slacking behind. "Oh yea, I hear you're a fan of purple," I aimed up at Padge who'd decided to supervise me as I sat on the floor.

"I guess..." he seemed unsure, wondering what his colour preferences had to do with anything, no doubt.

"Jay, say nothing," I warned, before smiling back at my housemate. "Ben decided I should get the purple duvet cover instead of the green one because you like purple. Jay, I told you not to open your mouth!" I couldn't even see him, but I knew he had the smug look on his face, just dying to comment.