Where Do I Begin? All I Know Is Gone

The next few days I spent mostly on my own. Everyone was busy doing their last minute things before tour - visiting family, packing all their crap and such. Padge had been kind enough to invite me with him to see his parents, but I chose to decline. It was nothing against him or his parents; I just thought it would have been a little weird. The whole random girl moving in with their newly single son situation does sound more than a little dodgy.

The alone time gave me space to organise all of my new things anyway. My room was looking good decked out in the purple theme Ben had chosen. He may only be little, but the boy has some good taste, even if he did base his choice on Padge's colour preferences. Jay still hasn't shut up about that. I almost think it would have been better to just let him go for it straight off when he found out, that way he might have gotten it out of his system in one hit. I guess I'll have to keep that in mind for future reference.

My room was finished being rearranged and decorated by lunchtime on Tuesday. I didn't really have to do too much to it. The worst part was hauling all of my purchases up the stairs. The rest of that day I surprised Padge by attacking the monstrosity he had the nerve to call a front garden. I had been thinking about doing it while the guys were away, but this way Padge would be able to see the results - and maybe realise it wouldn't take him that much work to keep it tidy when he got the chance.

Wednesday morning I woke to find Padge missing once again. The faint emptiness that I'd felt on Monday was present once again, no doubt a feeling I'd have to get used to for the first few days of the tour.

Coming down the stairs after I'd had my shower I heard Padge enter through the front door. Curious as to where he'd been, since he hadn't warned me he'd be going out, I waited for him in the hallway. He looked a little sheepish as caught sight of me ahead of him.

"I was hoping you wouldn't be up yet," he spoke softly as he walked to the kitchen, keeping something clutched behind his back.

I decided to humour him and not question his curious behaviour just yet. "You know I'm always up by nine," I rolled my eyes at him. It was true; even though I loved my sleep I somehow managed to be awake by nine at the latest. It could be rather annoying after a particularly long night, but then it was easy enough to just go back to sleep after popping some painkillers which made for less of a hangover when I eventually rose. "Anyway, I'm kinda nervous today so I couldn't just lay in bed thinking."

Padge just nodded his head as he avoided my attempts to manoeuvre behind him while I pretended to look through the refrigerator for breakfast. Pulling out the milk as I decided to try some cereal I watched Padge as he watched me. It was odd and slightly comical, him backed into the corner of the room while I moved around collecting the things I needed from their various places.

"When are you going to tell me what you're hiding?" I finally broke the silence as I sat myself down on top of the bench to eat. Usually I'd head over to the table, but I felt like keeping Padge trapped while I had him boxed in.

"Well," he started, looking a little nervous before a cocky grin overtook his features. "I got you a present, but I'm not sure if I should give it to you anymore." As he spoke he slowly made his way across the linoleum floor, laughter showing in his eyes as I pouted at his revelation.

"It's not like I've done anything," I shrugged while I let my displeasure fade. "And why, good sir, did you feel the need to acquire said present in the first place?" I really had no clue why he would.

Padge was now directly in front of me, eyes glued to my own in a look that really didn't help me to figure out what he was up to. All that showed was the enjoyment he was getting from my perplexed reaction. "I need a reason to get you something?" he teased.

This whole situation was confusing the hell out of me. It was almost like we were flirting, the way we were skipping around the subject. The close proximities were nothing new, but there was a tension present too, which unnerved me a little. I still felt comfortable with Padge though, so I pushed everything else to the back of my mind and concentrated on finding out what this little gift of his could be for.

"Generally, that's the way things go. But I can't think of any grounds for you to do this. If anything, I should be buying you something, mister." I did still feel a little guilty for having taken over his life for the past few weeks. I know we both needed the company during that time, but would he still want me here when he was back from tour and over his heartbreak?

I guess he could tell where my thoughts were heading, because he took the now empty bowl out of my hands, placed it on the bench beside me and pulled me into a comforting hug. "I wouldn't have asked you to move in with me if I didn't want you around all the time, Justy. I really don't know how I would've handled things without you here to talk to, and you've become once of my closest friends." He pulled back a little to look into my eyes once more, this time with his hands lightly placed on my cheeks to keep my gaze on his own. "Don't doubt how much we all care about you, ok? Jay actually wanted to kidnap you, stuff you in a suitcase and then smuggle you onto the bus," he laughed while I just raised an eyebrow towards him.

"That man is rather strange. Why would he need to kidnap me anyway? I'd go willingly." I let a large smile take shape as I laughed and shook my head at the image of Jay executing his plans. "But back to this present of yours..."

Rolling his eyes Padge reached to grab whatever it was from where he'd placed it behind me during our hug. "I wanted to get you something for good luck on your first day, so I bought you a flour." He chuckled a little as he produced a small paper package of flour, a large red bow stuck onto the top of it.

Shaking my head at him in disbelief, I took the package from his as I laughed. "That is so completely cheesy! But unbelievably sweet, thanks Padgie."