Where Do I Begin? All I Know Is Gone

"So how come you ended up in Bridgend?" Matt's girlfriend Bailey asked from across the table as we waited for our orders to be filled. I was actually kind of surprised the guys hadn't asked last night, but I guess they didn't really care about the specifics.

"Uh, well I knew I couldn't stay in Dublin," I paused as I saw her nod her head sympathetically, showing that Matt must have told her at least some of my story. "So after he spilled the news to me I just walked out of the airport. I couldn't stay in there with him, you know? So I jumped into a cab and told him I needed to get out of the country. He took me to a ferry terminal and I ended up choosing to go to Holyhead on the flip of a coin. On the way over I remembered that I wanted to see more of Cardiff, and that I'd missed seeing Llanelli and Caerphilly Castle so I jumped on a bus and headed south. I considered stopping in Aberystwyth for a night, because the B&B I stayed in last time was really nice, and it looked like a cool town, but it was booked out so I decided to just head straight for Cardiff."

Heads were nodding while they listened to my story, probably horrified by my pronunciation of all these places, but they didn't show it.

"I figured this place was pretty central, and by the time we got here I was dying for a drink. The bus driver recommended The Mile, and the hostel just around the corner, so that’s where I ended up. Shit, I should probably go tell Rosie she doesn't need to worry about me."

Rosie was the owner of the hostel, and had been more than hospitable since I arrived on her doorstep. She didn't like that I went out alone at night, even though it was only around a hundred metres from door to door.

"Yea, we'll take you back after we've eaten. You probably want to get changed and have a shower and stuff... right?" This Bailey girl was spot on. She'd been just as welcoming as the guys, taking the time to get to know me a little on our walk here.

"Yes, that would be great. My hair feels horrible," I laughed, being interrupted by the ringtone of my phone.

Pulling the small device out of my bag I glanced at the screen before smiling and answering it as I got up out of my seat, moving towards the door.

"Hey Jay-man!" I greeted enthusiastically as I walked outside. People talking on cell phones inside shops were one of my pet peeves.

My return to our table a few minutes later was greeted with curious glances, understandably.

"Jay-man?" Moose questioned, being the only one without a mouth full of food.

Nodding I confirmed the name. "Yea, my brother Jamyn, I guess my parents had some thing with J's," I shrugged. "He was just calling to check up on me, the whole protective thing kicking in I guess. Wanted to know if I've decided what to do yet."

I wasn't really surprised, he was probably my closest family member, and the only one I could trust with the details of what had happened. We weren't really close; usually we talked maybe once a week outside of our Saturday's together at rugby, but I'd always been able to talk to him. I guess it helped that he shared my sense of humour, and we followed each other's crazy thoughts well. As far as anyone else knew I was happily in Ireland with Conor, settling in, and that's all they'd know until I was ready to tell them otherwise.

"What to do? Like what?" Matt was a little confused.

Smiling my amusement, I shook my head a little instead of laughing at how cute his semi scrunched up face looked. "Like if I'm gunna go back home and deal with everyone, or if I want to stay over here by myself. I don't really want to go back to the criticism, ya know, but actually living here? Where the hell do I even want to live? I'm still kind of in holiday mood, I haven't really thought about reality yet."

"If you want to stay here in Bridgend we could help you out..." Jay spoke hopefully, the others all nodding in agreement with smiles plastered over their features. It really surprised me how they could be so fond of me already. It hadn't even been a whole day since we met, but these people had already accepted me into their fold. It was an act I never would have expected from anyone as known as these guys seemed to be - aren't they supposed to be wary of people trying to exploit them?

"Thanks Jay. I'll keep that in mind. You guys are really too kind to me." I knew I was blushing, never really being comfortable with the generosity of strangers. But I guess they weren't strangers, they'd decided to jump straight into being my friends, and I appreciated them even more for that. "I don't deserve such good friends, but thanks."

The rest of the meal was consumed with little conversations interspersed throughout. Moose was busy texting someone, Jay wondering why his girlfriend wasn't checking up on him. It was odd for them to be away from their own homes so early after returning from tour, and that was understandable. I'm sure if I was them I'd spend a few days just lying in my bed, but then I am a lover of sleeping, and comfortable beds.

Speaking of which, "Matt, I have to congratulate you on your beds. I had a great sleep."

A small burst of laughter came from his mouth. "Was it the bed, or did you just pass out? You drunk as much as us, and I passed out the second I hit the mattress."

I had to think about that, the late night details in my memory were a little foggy. "Uh..."

"It took her a while, she kept wriggling," Padge spoke up. "Kicked me a few times too."

My eyes opened wide at that, not remembering those details at all. "Sorry man! I'm not used to sharing a bed. Hope my feet weren't too cold." My feet had a tendency to be like iceblocks, especially at night.

Luckily Padge was smiling, that was a good sign as he placed a hand on my shoulder, "Hey, it's ok. They were fine, I have no bruises and you were kinda entertaining to watch."

Everyone was laughing. And it felt good to actually forget all of the drama, only thinking about the people that I shared a table with. I think I just decided what I'm going to do.