Freshman Year

During school, I had Shiksa by Say Anything stuck in my head. You know, the song about how he has a girlfriend now?

I went into the cafeteria with Nathan. When Brenda got to school, I walked over to her. She was freaking out at me. I was freaking out at her for freaking out at me. We were both excited that Kevin asked me out. On the way out of the cafteria, Brenda pushed me to tell me that Kevin was there. She almost pushed me into him. I turned around. "Hey." He said. I waved at him. Brenda started talking to him about how they went to the same middle school or something. "Nice pants." He told me.
"Thanks," I replied.

I left Spanish early so that I could go to the choir concert. I was singing. We spent the rest of first and all of second period there. While I was waiting to sing, Ryan kept messing with me. He would like poke my sides and stuff like that. It was kind of annoying, but fun at the same time. We sang. It was weird. We were singing for the kids in special ed.

Anthropology was weird. On the way there, Kevin walked out of one of his classes and Jenny went "Hey look, it's Kevin." She said it really loud. I quieted her down and went to the library.

After I put my stuff away, I went back to the front of the library to give Kevin a hug. His hugs are awesome, but awkward at the same time. When I let go, he followed me to Alustriel. "So.... did you get my message?" he asked me.
"Yeah." I said. "I said yeah." I gave Alustriel my Ludo cd's. Kevin mumbled something and walked away.

Lunch was weird. While I was eating, Mikey sat next to me and was like "So, Alex... Anything new?" I shook my head. There wasn't really anything new. "Well, that's not what Kevin told me. He said he was going to ask you out today." I started laughing. He basically asked me out on Myspace last night. I finished eating and went to the bathroom.

Back in class, we did our stuff. While third lunch was going, I went with Alustriel to bug Chelsea and staple some papers. Back at the table, this girl who I've seen around comes up to me. She says "My friends think you're hot. Are you bi? You should totally go out with them."

"I don't really know if I'm bi or not, so yeah." The girl walked away. It was about time to go, so I packed up and everything.

In English, we just read and stuff. Ryan was being creepy. He would like rub my back and stuff.

Art was really awkward. Kevin sat next to me and Mikey sat on the other side of Kevin. "Is it going to be all awkward between us, now?" kevin asked me.
"It always gets awkward with me." Itold him.
I was being the opposite of my normal self. I wasn't really talking much. At one point, Kevin asked me if I was okay. He said I was turning pink. I knew somwthing weird was going on with my face. It felt weird. I was actually starting to feel lightheaded. I just put my head on the desk and tried to calm down. It worked, I think. I told them about my pants. They had a hole in the crotch. Kevin was like "I'm tempted to see this hole." I was thinking about showing him my hole, but didn't. That would be kind of weird.

At the end of class, we just kind of stood there. We talked about techno and other stuff. Um. One of the subjects was emo people. Kevin says he used to cut. He even showed me the scars. I was going to show him my scars that were on my knees, but couldn't pull my pants up enough. Then the ball rang.

We walked out of class together. Mikey sped ahead to give us alone time, I guess. "So... quick question. Are we going out now?" Kevin asked me.

"Um. I don't know. Are we?" I answered him.

"I thought you knew. Do you want to?"

"Do you want to?" I repeated.

"Yeah."

"Then okay. I guess we are, then." I finished. We walked side by side down the stairs and out to our busses.