You're Seldom Known and Barely Missed

"Bella, whatever you wanted to do, you better get ready and do it now. The crew's about to set up." I heard Felicity say with a quick shake of her head before she walked away. This was it. Sure, I was just laying my guts out on the floor with my guitar and my lyrics. No prob. I took a deep breath, and srtaightened out my tank top. I was wearing my usual 'I'm not ready yet' look, but I wanted this performance to be completely honest. I'd look good later. I pushed my hair behind my ear, grabbed my acoustic, and walked out on stage.

I was met with a mix of reactions, mainly either gasps or cheers. I smiled vunerably before grabbing the stool and the mic to set up. I got settled and looked out at the crowd. "Hey guys." I said, and half of me wanted to turn back. I heard a few more cheers, and they strengthened me. No. Not now. This was the point of no return. I couldn't let the fans down. I couldn't let myself down.

"I know, I look like crap. See, I didn't really want to get ready for this performance. I just wrote a song in the last week or so, and it really means a lot to me. I thought you guys should be the first to hear it, and I thought the whole deal should be honest." I said, and swallowed as I saw everyone looking on from backstage, all of TAI and the girls. I saw some smiles from the crowd and forced myself through the motions of getting ready to start. "It's called 'I Hate You, Then I Love You.'" I slowly started to strum my guitar, setting the mood with what I thought was the best sound for what I was about to do.

I’d like to run away from you
But if I were to leave you I would die
I’d like to break the chains you put
Around me
And yet I’ll never try

No matter what you do you drive me
Crazy
I’d rather be alone
But then I know my life would be so
Empty
As soon as you were gone

As I looked out, I saw smiles and nods from some of the unaccompianied girls in the crowd, and even saw some look over at their guys. Then I knew it. I did exactly what I was trying to do. I hit the strings I meant to, put a nail on exactly what I was feeling, and it began to come through in my voice. I couldn't risk a look backstage.

You make me sad
You make me strong
You make me mad
You make me long for you
You make
Me long for you

It was then that I grabbed my new courage and ran with it, looking backstage. I saw contemplative, or surprised looks on all the guys. The girls sported encouraging and knowing smiles. I returned the gesture as I turned around to sing my heart out.

I hate you
Then I love you
Then I love you
Then I hate you
Then I love you more
For whatever you do
I never, never, never
Want to be in love with anyone but you

You treat me wrong
You treat me right
You let me be
You make me fight with you
I could
Never live without you

I never, never, never
I never, never, never
I never, never, never
Want to be in love with anyone but you
But you

I sang the last part softly, and I heard wild cheers from the crowd. "Thanks, guys." I said, an uncommon blush creeping onto my face. I tucked my hair behind my ear again before giving them a quick wave and walking off, only to hear more applause. I avoided the rest of my tourmates as I walked to the bus to actually get ready before the show. I was still a little conflicted in my hopes that Bill wasn't completely oblivious.