Push and Pull

Jasper's P.O.V

It’s Twilight. The safest time of night for us, Vampires. Damned for an eternity of night. I was walking deep in the forest, slowly, looking up at the stars as I walked. The brightness and beauty of the moon stunned me. I wonder if the sun looks like this. I thought to myself.
“Jasper?” A familiar voice spoke behind me. I turned around to see an angel. No my angel, Alice. The love of my life. The one who saved me from the darkness. “Alice” I spoke quietly, walking slowly towards her. She smiled and walked towards me as well. “What are you doing out here? I have been debating for hours if I should come and find you.” Alice said. She kept her gaze on me and I looked back. Slowly what she said sunk in.
Of course she already knew I was here. Alice has the gift of visions. She can see the future, though what sees doesn’t necessarily always happen. For example, if I made up my mind that I was going for a walk, she would see it. Only because I made up my mind too.
Since she already knew where I was, she probably wanted to give me sometime alone. I thought to myself.
“I’m sorry. I just felt like being alone.” I bit my tongue. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. Alice and I always come to each other when something is wrong, but I didn’t want to upset her.
She looked down I saw felt sorrow running threw her. That’s my power, I can feel peoples emotions and control them.
Alice looked up with a grin. I used my powers to get rid of the sorrow and calm her. “That’s not fair.” She stated.
“Alice.” I paused. “I’m sorry. I know you know that I’m keeping something from you, but please be patient. I promise I will tell you what’s wrong soon.” I hoped that was enough to keep her satisfied.
She smiled “Alright Jasper” she dropped the subject. “Lets go home.”
Home. I thought to myself. Were not the only vampires. There’s Carlisle our “Adoptive Father” that’s what the humans think. He is a doctor. Carlisle is the only one of us who can fully be “As human” as can be around blood. It doesn’t seem to phase him.
Next there’s Esme, our “Adoptive Mother.” Carlisle turned her into a vampire after she tried to commit suicide when her only child died. Knowing there was no way to save her life, he bit her.
Edward is next. He was the first to become part of the family. Carlisle turned him into a vampire in 1918 when he was seventeen and dying of the Spanish influenza. Edward is the most “Practiced” around humans. Although he cant deny his thirst.
Then there’s Rosalie. To the humans who think we look alike, we are twins taking the last name Hale as the others have Cullen. Rosalie is married to Emmett. I’ve lost count of how many times they’ve gotten married. Rosalie is all about show. Emmett just wants to make her happy.
Rosalie saved Emmett before he was killed by a grizzly bear. Ever since they’ve been together. Like me and Alice, I sighed. Alice. She found me and saved me from myself. Together, me and her found the Cullen’s and now we all live together in a lovely house near Forks. Two years ago we all, well, they all decided to enroll in high school. Again...
In Forks its always raining, rarely ever sunny. Good weather for vampires. I have to admit enrolling in high school was not something I wanted. I only did it for Alice.
I try as hard as I can to be around humans but….
“Jasper are you coming in?” my train of thought was interrupted. We already arrived home. “Yes” I spoke as I walked up the steps and into the house.
Edward was sitting on the couch watching T.V with, get this, Bella in his arms. Isabella Swan, a human!
Edward fell in love with her and I cant imagine how he could stand being so close to her. Being in the same room as her makes me uneasy. The whole family, including I, love her. And that’s why I must stay at a distance from her so I wont be overcome.
I smile at Bella and hurry up the stairs to my room. I don’t have a bed, just a couch since vampires cant sleep. So I sat on the couch and closed my eyes appearing to be lost in thought once again.
Downstairs I heard the laughter of Bella and Emmett. He always laughs when she does something funny.
“Jasper?” Edward was knocking on my door. He opened it and walked in. “Alice told me what happened in the forest. Wont you tell us what’s going on?” He asked as he leaned against the wall across from me.
Alice came inside without a word and sat on the floor pretzel style next to Edward. Hmph as I expected here comes Emmett and Rosalie and oh god Bella!
Emmett and Rosalie walked to my left and leaned against the wall like Edward as Bella walked next to Edward. Why did she have to come in?
Concentrate. Hold your breath Jasper. Pretend she’s not here. “Jasper.” My eyes shot up. I was startled. Esme was sitting next to me on the couch, her hand on my shoulder. Carlisle was standing in front of me. “Jasper hunny are you alright?” Esme asked worriedly.
“Yeah mom sorry.” I looked down concentrating on holding my breath. I have to pretend she’s not here.
“Jasper, we are all family. You can tell us what’s going on.” Carlisle said in his soothing voice.
“Yeah! And we are all here now so you can get it over with and tell us what’s wrong.” Emmett added.
Alice looked worried and I felt horrible. I have to tell her, but if I did now that Bella was here, I would feel wretched for hurting her feelings and Edwards. “I don’t think now is a good time.” I hoped that would do it.
“Nonsense.” Edward said. “Now is the perfect time. Go on.” He encouraged holding Bella close to him. I could tell Bella felt like she shouldn’t be here and I agreed with her.
I kept my eyes on Bella and she looked back. I didn’t want to offend her in any way. I’m sure Edward, being as smart as he is, would already have an idea about what this was about, since I was looking at Bella.
“Alright.” I finally said, looking now away from Bella and everyone else. “Alice, you know I love you with all my heart and I would do anything for you.” I looked up to see Alice’s anxious face. “The truth is” I paused. “Ever since Bella came into the picture, and after I almost k..killed her on her birthday.” I looked at Edward who held Bella closer to him now. “I cant take it. Going to school was a challenge for me, but now this?.. Bella I’m sorry. I don’t mean to offend you in any way. Please don’t blame yourself its me.” I looked down again. “Because I know you all love Bella dearly” I glanced at Rosalie who I knew didn’t care for Bella as the others did. “I think I should leave from here. I won’t, no! I can’t hurt her again. My presence is more dangerous then all of yours put together. Living among humans is harder for me and I don’t want to hurt anyone ever again, especially Bella, since I love her like a sister.” I announced feeling the dark pressure lifted off of my chest only to have more worries take it’s place.
Everyone’s mouths were wide open. There was a long silence until Bella stepped forward. Edward wouldn’t let go but she removed his hands from her waist. She walked closer to me hesitantly and stopped in the middle of the room. Since nobody else looked like they were going to speak anytime soon, she did.
“Jasper.” She spoke up, looking at me, I easily saw the hurt in her eyes. “I’m sorry that this is hard for you but you shouldn’t leave.” I opened my mouth to speak but she stopped me. “You are part of the family. You have been with Edward and the others for so long. Don’t leave because of me.” She stopped talking so I spoke. “It’s not only because of you. Its humans in general.” She stared at me. “But its mostly because of me.” She paused. “I love you all very much” She glanced at all of us one by one leaving Edward for last. “But if me spending time with you all and coming into your lives is too much for Jasper to handle, then I think its only fair for me to leave instead.”
“NO!” Edward shouted.
“Please.” she spoke again. “Jasper is more important to all of you then me. I have made up my mind. Ill go.” She turned around and Edward grabbed her by the waist.
“This is preposterous Bella! We will figure something out.” He glanced at us and finally Alice spoke. “Yes Bella, stop and think for a moment.” Her eyes looked everywhere accept to me.
I knew she was angry at me for giving up. Bella spoke again.
“No, its not fair to Jasper, just let me go.” She removed Edwards hands from her waist and left my bedroom. Edward ran after her and closed the door behind him. I could here what they were saying.
“Bella please.” Edward begged.
“Edward, fix things with Jasper.” There was a pause. She probably kissed him. “Don’t follow me.”
I heard footsteps, she left. Edward didn’t come back in. Rosalie grunted and left the room, Emmett followed her. Then Esme and Carlisle followed shortly after. Alice just sat there. I didn’t dare look at her, afraid her expression would show anger and sadness. I merely buried my face in my hands. What have I done?