Push and Pull

Chapter Three: Planning.

Jasper’s P.O.V

Its Sunday. Its been one week. I’m still planning on leaving soon, though I don’t dare tell anyone when.
None of us went to school this whole week. I don’t even think anyone has seen Bella except Edward. Ugh Bella. Why did she have to do that? It’s not her fault. I’m just too weak I can’t control my thirst and I never want to hurt her again. Just thinking about her last birthday when she got that paper cut makes me uneasy. I shudder to think what I might do next. That’s why I’m better off living in a forest or some desolate area, alone.
If I leave, then Bella can come into the picture again and they can all be happy. I’m only worried about Alice. She makes it so hard to even think about leaving. But I have to. I’m too dangerous.
There all planning to go back to school tomorrow but I’m not. I’m done with it, the pressure and all the humans, I can’t take it. Plus, I can’t bare to feel Bella’s emotions again. That day in my room, feeling her sadness and guilt was hard enough to handle.
I feel horrible that she is blaming herself, that she is avoiding us and especially Edward. When he came back a couple of hours ago from Bella’s house he looked like he was hit by a bus. Not that, that would hurt him in any way. But still he looked terrible. I’m guessing Bella is sticking to the evasiveness.
I already made up my mind. When there all at school tomorrow, and Carlisle at work, I’ll leave. I will only have Esme to deal with.
“Jasper?” Alice walked into my dark room. She sat next to me on my couch and laid her head on my shoulder without another word.
I rested my head on hers and put my arm around her. We sat like that until morning when she stood up and smiled at me before she went off to school. Her smile was not like the others, is didn’t reach her eyes.
She new that I wasn’t going to go to school so she didn’t even bother in trying to persuade me.
I heard Edwards Volvo zoom out of the driveway and I sighed. Time to go.
I didn’t plan on packing anything, I’d just roam around in the forest like the true predator that I am. I would leave in a couple of hours .
Thank god. Esme went “Shopping” so I didn’t have to explain to her in person. I decided to write a note.

Dear Esme, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Rosalie and my dear Alice,

I’m truly sorry that I must leave without telling you all but it’s for the best. I don’t want to hurt Bella again and me being here is dangerous for her. I don’t know if I will ever come back. I’m sorry. I love you all. And Alice. My dear Alice. Please forgive me, I will love you always. Never forget that.

Alice’s face was in my head the whole time I was writing the letter. It suddenly struck me that I wasn’t going to see her again, her beautiful smile the way she magically brighten up my day. I can go on all day about her good qualities.
Once I placed the letter on my couch in my room I heard a knock on the front door. Who could it be?
I walked downstairs to the front door and opened it. My eyes widened. Bella