F'd Up Family:The Kaulitz Family

"WHAT?!" i hop off the bed and put back on my shirt. I did i just hear him right? "No no no! No way!"

"Yes."

"H-How do you know?" i ask pacing the room. This can not be true.

"Mom's diaries that she keeps in the basement. I found one from 2007." he gets up and puts on his clothes. He takes a orange diary from under his pillow and hands it to me. "Last page."

My hands trembling, i flip to the last page

I feel like such a slut. I know i said i would stop but i dont think i can. He makes me feel different, he feels different. Bill tells me he loves me and i say it back but i feel nothing. When he kisses me i feel nothing. When Tom kisses me it feels like im going to faint. I cant love my boyfriend's brother! Not more than im surpose to.

"Okay?" Tom told me about that. "So they were having sex but that doesnt mean that he's our dad."

"Look at the date, Ani."

I look at the top of the page. 27.10.2007 "You said you found these in the basement?"

"Yeah there's more down there too, but i was too afraid to look at them."

"Suck it up because we're going down there."
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*Basement*

We've been looking at mom's diaries for like 2 hours. We finally found it. 2008, the year Nick and i were born. We've been staring at it for about 15 minutes, scared shitless to open it.

"You do it." i tell him. I cant do it.

He nods and opens the book. He begans to read outloud:

"Dear Diary,

The reason why i havent written in about 3 months is because...dude i just had twins! Beautiful boy and girl. Born May 7th at 8:23am, Lyani My-Ja Kaulitz and at 8:29am, Wilhelm Nicholas Kaulitz. Blonde hair, brown eyes just like their dad and uncle. Let me tell you, the most beautiful thing i've ever seen...when" He stops his eyes big. "No."

"Nicki..." he pushes the book to me and runs up the steps, seriously pissed. The crazy look he'd get before he would hit me. I need to know the rest, so i continue where he left off.

"...the most beautiful thing i've seen...when Tom held his daughter for the first time."

"My-Ja, what's wrong with Nick?" my dad asks coming down the basement stairs.
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*Thrid Person*

Scared, Pissed, Depressed, Disgusted. All these things she's feeling at the moment.

"Lyani?"

No answer. She drops the book and brushes past her dad, or should she say uncle.

She sits at the kitchen table just staring at her hands and crying softly.

'My uncle is really my father?' she thinks, trying to wrap her head around all of this. She can never be alone when she wants to. The two people she really doesnt want to see right then enters the kitchen. Tom and Tahshi.

"Oh sweetie we gotta get to the doc-" she looks closely at her daughter. "Lyani..."

Lyani just glares at her and Tom both. Tahshi is used to this but Tom isnt.

"Ani what's up?" he sits across from her. Bill standing in the doorway, Nick sitting on the counter.

"I knew it when i saw you kissing." Nick says from his spot.

"What are you talking about?"

Flashback 2016(Germany)

"Nicki i'm ready to go now." Lyani tells her twin brother bouncing in here seat.

"Me, too. Buckle your seat belt, ill go get uncle Tomi." he kiss her on the lips and hops out of Tom Escalade.

He runs into the house leaving the door. Nick hears mommy giggling, she only giggles like that when daddy kisses her. Nick likes watching mommy and daddy kiss, it makes him happy. Most of his friends dont have both mommy's and daddy's.

But the person he see's with mommy isnt daddy, it's uncle Tomi.

She giggles and pushes him away. "They're waiting for you. They're excited, especially Lyani. So go."

Tom smirks rubbing her tummy. "He kicks alot."

Nick runs back outside. Seeing uncle Tomi kiss mommy makes him angry. Lyani has gotten out of the car fixing to go inside the house.

"Is Tomi coming?" she ask holding on to her stuffed lion her uncle won for her the last time they went to the fair.

"I dont wanna go."

"Why?" Lyani doesnt understand. He was so excited about going to the carnival with his favorite uncle. "Do you not feel good?" she places her hand on his forehead.

"I'm not sick. Can you stay home too?" he pouts.

"But i wanna go with Tomi." she smiles, "I will bring you back lots and lots of candy!"

Tom comes out of the house keys in hand. "Are you ready for a day of sugary sweets?"

Lyani giggles as he picks her up, much like Tahshi. It makes Nick cringe. He goes into the house so he doesnt have to hear it.

"Nicki's not coming." Lyani tells Tom when he puts her pack down. "I think he wants to stay with mommy."

"Well i guess it's just me and you."

*END OF FLASHBACK*

*Lyani's POV*

"I couldnt stand you after that." Nick says to Tom. "Still cant."

I remember that. Tom and I came home late that night and Nick freaked. Going on about how i love Tom more than i love him. That was the first time he hit me, too.

Dad steps in. "When was this?"

"We were 8." i get out of my seat and stand beside Nick. "Why didnt you just tell us?"

"We were going to wait intill you got a little bit older." Mom replies.

I'm getting a headache.

"We're older. Tell us the whole story. Not the PG rated version either." Nick says.

Oh i wish he wouldnt have said that. When they are done with the whole(gags) story, i think im gonna faint.

Nick looks at me. "Oh." he states dumbly.

"Lyani you okay?" Dad asks me.

"No!" i yell. "This family is seriously fucked up!"

Nick jumps off the counter and hugs me. What is wrong with us? We're all too affectionate!

I pull away from him, "I changed my mind. I'm not coming home."

"Why? Where are you gonna go?" Nick frowns a bit.

"She's not going anywhere." my mom says, "You just got out of a coma 2 weeks ago and before that you just decided to move out. I hadnt seen or heard from you in months!" she shouts.

"She can stay with me, Tahsh." Tom butts in since him and Nick are the only ones that know exactly why i left in the first place.

"No! She's been living with you for the past like, 2 months Tom."

Dad looks like he's getting a headache too. Just tell her to shut the fuck up already!

Nick pulls me into the living room while Tom and mom continue their arguement.

"I dont think we should..." i sigh. Damn it. "I dont want to be 'normal twins' anymore."

"What?!" he yells, i flinch, "You just get my hopes up and leave again?!"

"Nick i cant stay here with mom or im gonna blow up. I cant stand seeing the way she treats daddy, he does everything for her and she walks all over him! And we cant do this whole incest thing. What if i meet a guy or you meet a girl that you really like?"

"Thats not gonna happen!" he grabs my hand. "Please Lyani, please."

"I'm sorry. I staying at Tom's." his whole facial expression changes when i say Tom's name. Back to the old Nick and... "I'm going to leave now." his grip on my hand gets tighter.

"You fuck everyone else no questions asked but i have to get on my knees and beg you, my twin, to just kiss me." and tighter, his nails digging into my skin.

"You have fucking problems. Let me go." i try to pull away but he's too strong.

"You do love him more." he shakes his head. "Lyani i love you, please." he tries to kiss me but i push him away. "Forget it then. Go back to his house. Maybe that rumor was true, you hoe!"

That stabbed me in the heart. The rumors of me and Shane at the party.

"It way be true. I maybe a slut but you're a fucking pervert! You made me this way. You, you asshole and i hate you-"

He backhands me. I hear someone gasp. I turn around and there is my mom, dad, and Tom standing there. I swear the look on my dad's face is...petrifying.

"Dont say that! Dont you ever say that again!" Nick yells, his face red.

Dad comes over and grabs him by the arm. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" he shouts right in his face. Nick just stares at him frightened. "No matter what she says you never hit a girl! Especially your sister!"

All my 16 years ive never, i mean never, seen my dad yell at anyone. My mom does most of the yelling.

"Lyani you're bleeding." mom comes over to look at my face but i push her hands away.

Dad turns to me. "What has been going on between you two these past months?"

Nick is silent, Tom makes me sit down on the couch. I didnt even see him leave because he has a wet rag for my lip.

"Is anyone going to talk?!"

"You mean the past 8 years." i say avoiding Nick's eyes. I sigh. "Please mom can you just take me to my appointment then back to Tom's. We'll take about this later." I look at dad, oh he wants to kill Nick "Please daddy?"

He nods. "We'll talk about it tomorrow."
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*
Mom put some make up on me to cover up the bruise that is forming. We dont need any more awkward questions.

We are on our way to my doctors appointment and my mom is very quiet. I'm not mad about that.

My cell phone rings 'Hit That' by M.I.A. That's Kelsey's ringtone so i quickly pick it up.

"Kelsey!"

"Happy Birthday. You going for that 16 year old check up?" she says with a chuckle.

"Yeah."

We continue talking about her vacation, she's in Brooklynn visiting her grandma.

"My-Ja you gotta get off the phone. We're almost there." my mom interupts a couple mintues.

"I heard her. I'll talk to you later okay?"

"Peace out, have fun. I'll tell Tom you said hi." we both hang up at the same time.

My doctor is a woman this time. Yay i got a new one. Nothing is more awkward than a man pressing, feeling you up like you're on a date.

We're done with that finally.

"I see you are sexually active?" she asks.

"No, no shes not." my mom answers before i can chuckling.

"Um...yes i am." i nod.

"Has your partner been tested?"

"I've only had 3 partners and we all got tested together at school." Grr my face is hot, im blushing!

"Okay i'll be right back." she leaves me with my shocked mother. Oh god...

"When?!" she yell/whispers. "All? Who was your first?"

"Thats something we'll have to talk about later too. Please."