I Hope They Taste of Me Forever

Pete was acting considerably nicer to me over the next week. Don’t get ahead of yourself, it’s not like we were getting along well or anything, but he restrained most of the nasty comments towards me. Basically, we ignored each other. I could tell that Patrick had had some stern words to him the night before, but unfortunately I didn’t hear it. After a few days and several ‘herbal remedies’, courtesy of Patrick, my voice returned to it’s normal state, but it still sort of hurt to speak so I remained quiet.

It surprised me how annoying it was being unable to talk, when I’ve spent the last three years of my life barely talking at all. I knew I was changing. I don’t quite know how to explain it, but everything that’s been kept in my head over the last few years was slowly being set free, and each time I looked in the mirror I saw my eyes just a little more blue.

I lay on my bed, for it had become mine now, thinking about the discussion we’d all had the other night, the night after… well, you know. It confused me. The main question was why. And how. It just didn’t make sense to me.

***

“Guys!” Pete shouted from the main room. “I need to talk to you!”

Joe sighed at me with a small smile and departed the kitchen for the other room, where I suppose they were all congregating. Not wanting to have to face Pete again, I remained at the kitchen bench, slowly chewing my pasta and preparing to listen in on the guys’ conversation. I was quite unprepared for what I heard next.

“Elle!” Pete called softly.

His voice sounded croaky and slightly pained. I knew he still felt immensely guilty about the other night. Not because of me, he hates me, but because he felt like he wasn’t strong enough. He felt like he failed, because he let the vampire take over. And as guilty as he was, I knew that deep down he just resented me even more because I could make that monster surface when he tried so hard to keep it in check, and now I knew it.

“What is it?” I whispered, sticking my head around the edge of the door. My throat was still sore.

“Uh, I think it would be a good idea if you heard this. You might be able to answer some of our questions.”

He didn’t look at me while he spoke; instead he looked at the ground. I didn’t blame him.

I nodded and took a seat next to Andy on the couch. Pete looked kind of awkward as he fidgeted with his fingers, obviously trying to find words for whatever it was he needed to say.

“Okay, so, um, last night when I was at your place getting your stuff, I found something. Finding it confused me and made me tense and so that’s why I… lost control.”

I looked at the others to see if they knew what he was talking about. Joe and Andy looked as clueless as me, but Patrick just had this look in his eyes that made me think he knew what was coming next.

Pete gulped, and I could tell immediately that he regretted showing this vague sign of vulnerability in front of me.

“I found this.”

He reached into a green backpack at his feet and pulled out a very familiar looking object.

“Where did you get that?” I jumped up, pointing to the clandestine book in his hands; the book I’d been forbidden.

“I could ask you the same thing,” he said darkly, his face solemn. Before I could reply, Patrick interrupted.

“Elle, this is our book. We wrote it. Can you explain why Pete found it in your apartment?”

My jaw dropped unattractively and I was pretty sure that you could see my tonsils from Timbuktu.

“W-what?” I stuttered.

This was so weird. The Clandestine book was of significance to me in my old life. Ever since I’d been staying with these guys, it’s like I had a new life. I didn’t like the idea of these lives merging. They didn’t belong together. And, as selfish as I am, I didn’t like thinking that the guys had such fascinating lives before they met me and I ruined it. Even though I know they already did, being so much more interesting than myself. They were all looking at me seriously, Joe and Andy slightly shocked. I didn’t know what they wanted or were expecting to hear.

“That book…” I began, looking down so I didn’t have to meet any of their gazes. “I don’t know how we got it. I… came across it… and my brother found me. He yelled at me and told me I wasn’t to try to find it again. I didn’t listen to him. That book seemed to hold all the answers I’d been so desperately searching for, and so I tried to fid it again. I don’t know what Matt did with it, but I never found it again. Where did you find it?”

I looked up and Pete was looking at me suspiciously. I could tell that he was trying to figure out if I was lying or not. After a few moments, he seemed to accept that I was telling the truth and started speaking.

“It was just on the floor, upturned and messed up. A lot of your stuff was messed up. I think someone had been there.”

There was a lengthened pause, but eventually Patrick broke it.

“So that settles that. They know where you live. There’s no way we’re letting you go home now.”

“Fine,” I said quietly, not bothering to put up a fight. I was beginning to doubt if freedom of this place was what I really wanted. It had been so long since I’d had a friend. And now I had three. They seemed to be surprised at my lack of argument, but put themselves together quick enough.

“Okay,” Joe coughed. “Well, um, I’m gonna go get some food. Anyone else?”

Andy and Joe scurried away with that, but the others remained due to my protesting sore throat continuing the conversation.

“Patrick?”

“Yeah?” he asked, busying himself with closing the clandestine book and returning it to the backpack.

All of a sudden I felt really self-conscious and shy about what I was about to ask. Maybe it was the fact that Pete was still in the room and he just had a habit of making me feel uncomfortable in general.

“Um, would I… could I… am I allowed to read it?”

He looked at me, slightly taken aback from the request. I knew I shouldn’t have asked…

“Sure,” he said, recovering and handing it to me.

That was it? So simple? When my brother had put up such a fight…

I took it and held it carefully as if too much pressure would make it crumble into dust.

“Do you mind me asking why?” Patrick wondered.

I felt heat rise into my cheeks. I have no idea why. It was nothing to be embarrassed about… right?

“I… uh… I’m really interested in it,” I resigned. “Everything about vampires. What’s myth, what’s reality. Everything.”

I looked to my feet, knowing that Pete was looking at me. Of course, without my eyes I couldn’t tell whether he was smirking or not.

***

“Elle?” Joe shouted from the main room.

“Yeah?” I shouted back, enjoying the return of my vocal chord’s flexibility.

A few moments later he appeared at my door with a small smile.

“How you holding up?” he asked softly.

“Just fine,” I replied. “Fully recovered.”

“Good,” he grinned.

“But that’s not what you came here for is it?” I questioned.

“Just going to tell you that we’re leaving in fifteen minutes to go hunting.”

“Oh,” I said.

For some reason I felt blank, but then the blankness was filled with a feeling of frustration. This was worse than living with my brother, in this aspect. I wasn’t even allowed to go and witness the action! Although… I’d never actually asked…

“Hey Joe?” I smiled sweetly when he turned from where he was about to leave.

“Yeah?”

“Since I’ve been such a good little girl…” he snorted. “…Do you think I could come too?”

His expression immediately became uneasy.

“Uh… I don’t know Elle… I’d have to check with Patrick…”

“No, no, and no.” Interrupted another voice I recognized all too well.

“Piss off Pete,” I scowled.

“Not a chance. There is no way you’re coming hunting with us.”

“I’ve done it a million times before,” I argued, not noticing Joe slipping out of the room in search of Mr. Stump.

“And look where that got you! Locked up in a cell in the Dandy mansion.”

“There’s not really any reason to believe the Dandies are after me. They’ve got my brother; I’m of no use to them. This place is just like an upgrade from the cell. Besides, you guys will be there the whole time,” I reasoned.

He let a growl out from the back of his throat, and for a second I got the distinct impression that he wasn’t telling me something. Before I could ask or he could deny it, Patrick entered the room.

“Elle, why do you even want to come with us? Why do you want to risk your life?”

I looked down again, not wanting to look at any of them, let alone Pete.

“I told you,” I said quietly. “They fascinate me. Everything about them. That includes their hunting habits. I’m not so different from you. Vampires are all my life is now.”

When I dared to raise my head, I saw Patrick looking at me but right through me, his lips pursed in thought. For a brief second I thought he exchanged some strange kind of look with Pete, but it’s probably just me. Joe and Andy were standing behind him cautiously, obviously not wanting to cause another argument. God, these guys must hate having me here so much. I’m just the moody teenager arguing with them all the time. There’s another reason to let me go with them. The other vamps can finish me off and they won’t feel so guilty because they didn’t do it themselves…

“Fine,” Patrick said, obviously not entirely pleased with his decision. “But you have to promise that you’ll follow every order we give you. No questions; just do it.”

I nodded my head once sharply. Patrick, Joe, and Andy left the room, but as I went to follow them an ice cold hand on my shoulder stopped me in my tracks.

“It’s not true,” Pete whispered, angrily and almost hurt. Unfortunately, I couldn’t use these emotions because I had no idea to what he was referring. I didn’t need to ask, however, because he just continued on his own. “They don’t hate having you here. You make them feel as close to normal as they can living this kind of life. They haven’t felt like that since before I was turned, and I may not like you any more than you like me but they’re my best friends and they mean the world to me. I won’t let you go on thinking otherwise. Remember that.”

It took me a few moments to realize what was going on. It’s not so much what he said… I mean, that was important too, but more that… how did he…?

“You can read my thoughts?!” I gasped.

“Clap clap,” he rolled his eyes. “Your brother really didn’t tell you much, did he?”

I ignored him and he left the room. Weird as it was, this felt like a pretty important piece of the jigsaw. That explained so many of Travis’ comments. And the Dandy’s reactions. But crap. What had Pete heard me think? I swear, if he heard me think he was hot…

I heard a low chuckle and my head snapped up towards my doorway. I’ll give you three guesses who was there.

“Yeah. I heard you, princess.”

Before I could attempt to break apart the nearest wooden object – the door – and stake him with it, which was what I was trying to calculate my chances of success at, he’d disappeared from my door and I heard him join the others in the main room.

Okay, forget what I ever said about us being civil. It’s a lie. There’s nothing but pure hatred there towards that cocky, annoying, evil egomaniac.

Yeah, mind read that, bitch.