Each Broken Heart Will Eventually Mend

I took another drag of the ciggarette that was dangling between my index and middle finger. The poison filled my mouth and went down in my lungs, causing all kind of damages. I had never in my life though that I would start smoking ciggarettes. I mean, they’re bad and I despited people who did. It was when I had met James that I started, everyone did then.

I looked at James from where I sat on the railing outside the big stadium they were playing at tonight. The whole band was here, including their girlfriends. They were all back on the bus, while James and I were taking a 5 minutes break from their soundcheck.
It was when I took the second drag from the ciggarette when I noticed that my hands were trembling. I had been biting on my nails alot lately, so the black nailpolish was almost chipped off. James hadn’t noticed that, which suprised me. He would always be so protective and attentive, but lately he sometimes seemed to doze off.
Now, he took quick drags from his almost burned out ciggarette while glancing over at me from time to time. It made me even more nervous.

“Are you okay, James?” I asked him, putting my hand on his shoulder.
He flinched “Yeah, I’m just-“
“Just what?”
He sighed “Nothing. I’m alright, Guin” He gave me a weak smile.
“Maybe you’re just nervous. You’ll be great, I promise you” I chuckled and took another drag.
“I hope you’re right. I’ll blame you if you aren’t!” He laughed and smiled wider.
God, I loved that smile.

I have never been good with the timing, and I felt that this was so the wrong time, but somewhere in my gut I knew that this was the right time. Two different feelings at the same time could cause me awhole lot of problem.
I jumped down from the railing, my white sneakers gave out a loud thump from when I hit the gravel on the ground. I tucked a few strands of my curly brown hair behind my hair and inhaled the toxic smoke once more.
“Guin, I-“
I turned around and pressed my lips against James’, my left hand found its way around his neck and I pressed myself even more against him. His warm lips didn’t part and his beard itched against my cheeks. This was so wrong.
I let go off him and backed away, giving him some space. Wow, that was impulsive.
James finally opened his mouth and a trail of smoke escaped from when I had kissed him. He look at me stupidly, his blue eyes hadn’t really understood what had happened.
“Oh, my God, I’m so sorry” I blurted out, dropped the ciggarette on the ground and walked away with fast steps.

“Oh, no, you didn’t!” Lia dropped her jaw and stared at me.
I buried my face in my hands and let out a deep sigh, regretting what I had done.
“You know he has a girlfriend” She stated.
“I know he had a girlfriend” I answered, but it was more like I was trying to convince myself. I knew what I had done was wrong, but I’m so impulsive that I don’t really think over stuff.
“Well, you-“ Lia tapped her footh impatiently against the floor in the bus “You just have to...”
“You don’t have an effing-“
“I don’t have an effing clue” She finished my sentence and smiled weakly. This wasn’t rare. We had been best friends for a long time now that we always finished each other sentence.
“Maybe I should talk to him” I mumbled, finding the checkered floor quite awesome.
“Oh, that’s a very good idea!” Lia said sarcasticaly and let out a loud laugh “Do that”
“Oh, man!”
I was interruped by a loud shriek that came from outside the bus. The door flung open and Hannah, James’ girlfriend, jumped up on the bus and looked at us with a tear stained face.
“Oh, my God!” Lia blurted out “Hannah, what happened?”
“It’s James” She sobbed “He dumped me!”
Lia looked at me in shock and embraced Hannah in her arms. She mouthed me a Oh, my God, and I returned it stupidly.
“I bet he didn’t know what to do” I tried to comfort her, while in shock “Maybe he still loves you...”
“That jerk said something had happened and that he didn’t love me anymore!” Her high-pitched voice filled the bus “God, I hate him so much!”
None of us were fans of Hannah, but to see her look this miserable made me quite sad, and I felt like a total bitch for kissing him.
“Hannah...” Lia tried.
“No, I need to go. I’ve already called a cab and I’ll be gone in five minutes” She looked at us with sorry eyes “I’m so sorry girls”
“It’s alright” Lia wipped away the tears from her cheeks.
“Well, bye” She picked up her backpack from the floor and dissappeared.
“Holy shit” Lia said in disbelieve.
“Holy effing shit”

“I know you’re going to be great tonight” Lia giggled and gave Rob a hug before the show. Rob smiled and bit her gently on her neck, making her giggle even more.
I looked away from them and let my eyes wander over the few amount of people that covered the backstage room. No sign of James. A wave of fear crushed over me. What if James’ had took off? What if... he wouldn’t come back for the show? I closed my eyes so the tears that were forming in my eyes wouldn’t escape and make a scene, but I couldn’t keep my hands from trembling, like they had done before I kissed him.
I opened my eyes slowly and scanned the room one more time. No sign of him.
“Guin?” I turned around, surprised, almost knocking the person over. It was James.
“Yeah?” I stammered.
“Can I talk to you?”
“But, you-“
“The show can wait. I really have to talk to you” Grabbing me by my wrist, meaning that he was serious.
I nodded and searched for Lia, but she was nowhere to be seen. I followed James through the room and into one of the bathroom. He closed the door after me and motioned for me to jump up and sit on the sink. I did.
“Guin, I... I broke up with Hannah today”
I opened my mouth to say something, but he pressed his indefingers against my lips “Don’t talk”
“Okay” I mumbled, cursing to myself for speaking.
“It was really hard for me, but I knew, and had know for a long time, that I wasn’t happy with her” He walked a little bit closer to me “So...”
“You know you broke her heart right?” I said, quietly.
The words didn’t scare him “Actually, no, I didn’t. I thought you knew that Hannah had been cheating on me”
The words came as a shock for me “I had no idea”
“Well, you do now” He said and took a step closer to me.
“So, what are you going to do?” I whispered, the words ran out of me.
“I though I could mend someone elses” He was now so close to me that his warm breath, smelling from ciggarettes and diet coke, tickled against my skin.
“And how are you going to do that?” I felt the heat in my body rising.
James cupped my face in his hands and pressed his lips against mine. It was a very gentle kiss, but it soon became more aggressive. I opened my mouth, letting him kiss me deeper, and ignoring that fact that his hands were on my back, trying to pull my black shirt off. He pulled the shirt over my head and threw it at the floor.
“Guin-“
“Schhy, James” I hushed him and kissed him forcelly. I pulled him closer to me and unbuttoned his pants.
“But, Guin, you’re sure you want to do this?” He stopped, looking deeply down my brown eyes.
“Yes, James, I want you to be my first” I whispered.
The corner of his mouth curled into a smirk “I love you, Guin Andrews”
“I love you too, James Rushent” I kissed him and let out a shriek of joy.