We're Going Live

“Follow my lead and give me the bags so you have your balance, in fact go first,” he told me, taking everything I was holding. I stepped up onto the small flat part of grey rock, my foot getting covered in clear foaming water, “I’ve got you,” Gerard said from behind me, pecking my back whilst gripping my hips.

I lifted my other foot and pushed my hands down onto the upper rock, vaulting up on top of it with a bare scratch of my knees. I waited and Gerard followed, nodding for me to continue. I started up the slope, gripping onto the outgrown weeds that had managed to come up through the rock. A few times Gerard grabbed the back of my tankini, making sure I didn’t fall. I pulled up onto the last part of the rock and ducked under an over hang before walking through a small worn out part of the cliff.

I felt Gerard enclose his arms around my waist as I felt my way through the dark, my eyes set on the small light hole that led out onto the other side. It was pitch black and I kept stubbing my toes and grazing my knees, painful water tipping to the core of my eyes each time.

I crawled out onto the other side though, my breath being stolen at the view. It was breezier where me and Gerard were, but it you peered right out over the edge you could see the corner of the beach and few stray people lounging on the sides.

“It’s amazing,” Gerard grinned, his hands on his hips as he looked out at the view.

I agreed and fell into his side, gazing out into the un blemished horizon. It was a mix of blue and yellow, and, if you squinted just perfect they merged together in the middle creating an arch green colour.

“You’ve scuffed up your knees,” Gerard tutted, kneeling down on the hard rock and flecking the trickling blood from one of my legs and wiping it on his stomach like it was water.

“Doesn’t matter,” I told him, leaning back against the rock wall. Gerard knelt down and kissed each scratch tenderly, not even retracting at the obvious taste of blood. He kissed up my leg, my stomach and into the curve of my neck, “Kiss me,” he murmured, “I like it when you take me over,” he murmured, taking my hands and pushing them to the top of his thighs.

I stood on the tip of my toes to reach his lips properly seeing as he hadn’t bent down like usual. I sighed contently, liking the feeling of him being so involved.

“No, kiss me,” he mumbled, his hand rubbing up and down my shoulders. I pulled away, confusion obviously evident in my face. Wasn’t I already kissing him? He pushed my shoulders gently, drawing his bottom lip into his mouth, “Down there,” he murmured, pushing harder.

I fell down with a slightly painful thud to the floor, my back being scraped against the rocky stone wall. I stared down at my feet, somewhat feeling degraded being shoved onto the floor. This is the part I hated, not knowing whether this was normal or not, I mean… was it? Really? I’d never even talked about it before –Mikey said he definitely didn’t want me to do it. Maybe he just didn’t like it.

“Sit up,” Gerard suddenly muttered, my thoughts being momentarily cancelled when he tugged at my hair, “Doll?” he murmured, tugging at the sides of his board shorts.

“Sorry, I was just thinking,” I said, pushing my sunglasses further onto my face. Was I even supposed to enjoy it? Probably not. I didn’t even know how to do it right, Gerard usually did everything for me. I jumped slightly when Gerard’s face fell in front of mine, his nose practically pressing against mine.

“Somebody’s playing a little hard to get,” he grinned, flicking my bottom lip, “You gonna open that lip of yours?” he smirked, I wriggled uncomfortably, “Or is it payback you want?” he asked, making me chuckle weakly, “Okay, okay, I gotcha,” he said, rolling his eyes and beginning to kiss his way hopefully down my stomach.

I quickly snapped my legs shut, his hand getting trapped between my thighs. He looked up at me quizzically, moving his hand down again when I loosened my thighs so he could take it away.

“No kisses for me or you?” he asked, making an over exaggerated pout face, “Go on,” he grinned, trying to move his hand again.

“I don’t have to… you-know-what, do I?” I asked, sounding childish and immature. I thought that –maybe- if I acted more immature then he wouldn’t try and beg me to do it.

He considered, his eyebrows falling to the middle of his brow like a draw string bag. Whilst he was considering I pushed his wrist away and curled up against the side of the rock.

“No, I guess not,” he sighed, annoyance evident in his voice. I ignored it and moved out so my legs were dangling off the edge of the rock. I shivered at the thought of crashing down into the choppy water below, Gerard didn’t seem to bothered though. He leant right out, on his tip toes, clinging to the rock behind him. I scratched the back of my neck wearily, relief flooding me when I felt him sit behind me, his own legs joining mine either side of me.

He wound his arms around mine, pulling them back awkwardly before shuffling forward. Panic over took the releif quite quickly? Was he trying to push me over the edge?

“What’re you doing?” I asked, wriggling my shoulder blade to get him to let go, he stayed silent, quick warm breaths pushing over my ear.