We're Going Live

“Oh god Mikey!” Gerard yelled, letting go of me and dashing forward, my heart rate still booming like a subwoofer, “Oh god Mikey, your leg. I am so, so sorry! Ren thought you were a guy behind a tree, I didn’t realise, I’m sorry, Dolly come over here!”

Tears dribbled down my face, my arm beginning to ache from holding the gun up face height. The man was in his thirties, wearing green shorts, black boots and a grey shirt. He was just a typical hiker. A typical hiker that I was unable to trust. He looked to petrified to even speak. I sobbed. my hands shaking as Gerard yelled at me to come over to help Mikey.

“Gerard!” I cried, I don’t know what to do!” I quickly let my head snap towards Gerard and Mikey.

Mikey was on the floor, Gerard’s knife sticking out of his leg crudely. I gulped and turned my head back, screaming at the man to stay still when he moved lightly. Gerard scrabbled up and swore loudly, coming up behind me and putting his hands over mine. They were clammy and damp against my own as he slowly pried the gun out from my fingers and held it himself, using a stronger hold than myself.

He began to slowly stalk towards the man, running the last few steps and grabbing him by the scruff of the neck. He punched him, again and again, blood spurting from the strangers nose.

“Gee stop it!” I cried, watching the man crumple to the floor, his head lolling.

“Dolly go help Mikey! Go help him! Take him back to the house okay? Just take him back to the house I’ll be there, got iy?” he yelled, dragging the strangers body forward limply whilst wrapping his arm around my neck, “Okay? Do this for me baby doll, yeah? Keep Mikey safe and bring them back to the house, you can do that for me princess?” he murmured. I nodded quickly, still unsure of myself, “Good girl,” he murmured, pushing his lips to mine and kissing me quickly.

We departed and I ran towards Mikey, my hands trembling over the knife plunged into his calf. Gerard had propped him up on a tree and Mikey looked fit to bust, tears streaming down his face.

“Oh, Mikey, Mikey. I’m sorry, Gerard got it wrong! It’s my fault, I’m sorry!” I cried, sobbing when Mikey screamed because I took hold of the knife handle.

“No, Ren, don’t!” Mikey begged.

“I’ve got to,” I cried, “Just, bite down on my hand okay?” I said, “I don’t care, just bite down, alright?” he nodded weakly and I fitted the side of my hand into his mouth, putting pressure on his ankle with my knee.

I then grasped the handle and pulled, he screamed out and bit down hard, a strangled sob emitting from his throat. I begged with him to forgive me and I pulled the rest out easily, quickly realising I had nothing to stop the bleeding. I pulled up the hem of Mikey’s hoody over my head and tried to wrap it round, unable to get tight enough because of the stretchiness to the material.

“Hold it, hold it!” I ordered, undoubtedly wiping blood on my face as I tucked hair behind my ears. I pulled my shirt over my head, shivering in the thin layer of a strappy vest shirt I was only wearing. I had to try a few a times, but eventually I managed to tie it tight enough to hold.

“Fucking wonderful,” he muttered, clenching his eyes closed. I hauled him up, keeping his arm hooked around my shoulders and one hand on Charlie’s pushchair, “Owh!” Mikey screamed, buckling again.

I pulled him back up, winding my other arm around his waist, his shirt bunching up under his arm. I blundered forwards, my eyes set on the just visible brick of the house. Twigs and braches snapped beneath my feet and Mikey began to sweat profusely. Eventually we reached the house and I leant him up against the wall, calling for Gerard. Mikey let his head drop back against the wall, mewing from the pain undoubtedly winding him.

“Gee, help me!” I yelled, jogging back so I could see the roof of the house. Gerard was clambering out of the roof, looking distressed with blood covering parts of his face where he had wiped his hands. He slid down the roof tiles and stumbled to the edge of the tree, managing to grope his way down towards us, “I can’t get Mikey up!” I sobbed, feeling useless.

Gerard walked up to Mikey and checked him over twice, suddenly stepping back with his hands on his hips in a calm manner.

“Sure you can,” Gerard said, “You have no problem getting Mikey up,” he chuckled, heaving his younger brother up over his shoulder like a fireman, “Isn’t that right Mikey?” he asked, giving him a hefty slap on the backside to try and lighten the situation.

“Shut up Gee,” Mikey muttered as Gerard chuckled. He walked back to the edge of the tree and began to haul himself up.

“Come on kid, lets get you up here,” Gerard sighed, stepping on the vines to get Mikey back up.

I picked Charlie up, easily being able to carrying him up after Gerard. Whilst climbing up I realised how lovely Gerard actually was. It seemed a strange and totally inappropriate time to realise it, but, I just did. The way he was trying to distract Mikey from his leg by talking about anything.

“No kidding Mikes, it was like huge. I thought I was gonna hurl, it just ran across the carpet,” Gerard laughed whilst hobbling across the roof tiles, “You remember that time? When you went to have a bath and there was that spider there? You freaked and ran down stairs naked in front of all mom’s friends. –How old were you then? Nine?”

“I was five!” Mikey defended, chuckling even though pain was ridden all over his face.

“It was funny though,” Gerard grinned, gently lowering himself into the attic. I followed behind, my heart outwardly racking as I bounced Charlie who was beginning to realise that something was going on. He gurgled unappreciatively, clawing at me to be fed. I wiped the tears from my face, trying to be brave when I saw the strange man lying face down on the floor, breathing but unconscious.

Gerard lay Mikey down on the bed and pushed the hair out of his face, grinning obnoxiously. Mikey and I could both see through his mask, even without his Joker make up. I smiled never the less and lay Charlie down who was contemplating whether being fed was good, or napping. Both were his favourite past times. Eventually he decided to just lie and roll around between me and Mikey, his little legs twitching happily.

I felt boiling pressure build up in the back of my eyes at the fake happy scene. A lump, made of sticky aching grunge formed in my throat and pulsed against my eyes. I felt like I had swallowed dry sand. My eyes began to water and I knew what was coming next.

I pushed my face into one of the pillow, sobbing into it. I don’t know why.

Whether it was because once again we were close to killing a man, whether it was because I was just weak, because I should have thought more, because once again I was in a horrible situation, because I was exhausted, because Gerard was being so brave and I just couldn’t be, because it was my fault Mikey got stabbed, because it was my fault everything had happened.

Mikey eventually slipped his arm around my neck, bringing my face into his shoulder. I cried and cried, my chest feeling broken and painful. Gerard finished tightening Mikey’s bandages and fell the other side of me, pushing his stomach against my back and cuddling to the back of my neck. More hot tears spilled from my eyes, onto Mikey’s shirt. When they eventually subsided, Gerard, once again, thought I was asleep.