Away from the Sun

Wonderland..

Why did I come back here?..

I dunno..

Queeny said that she didn't need my help right now. Not like I minded much; it was nice to have a 'day off'

I only chose to hide away in Wonderland because it was, by far, one of my favorite worlds. This world can make the most simple things in life seem complicated. So- I guess it made my complicated thoughts seem simple.

It was probably mid day here; the sun is a little pass the middle of the sky. I was sitting in the middle of the large forest- you know, where the flowers are as tall as 30 story buildings, and the pebbles look like boulders.

I sat upon a large yellow mushroom. It reminded me a lot of the mushroom the strange caterpillar sat on, as it had some smaller mushrooms surrounding it, and the location was near perfect. 'Cept, I wasn't smoking some strange substance out of a hookah. thankfully..

I wonder if I could make letters out of smoke..

Huh..

Well, this all just proves it was hard to keep a solid train of thought in this place. The enviroment makes your mind and soul wander, and your thoughts go along with them. Musings of hard work and labor turn into oddly colored mushrooms and clouds.

They said that Lewis Carroll wrote Alice in Wonderland during an acid trip..

While I'm looking up at the fifty foot rose... I'm actually starting to believe that..

But whatever.. I might as well get on with what was happening around me.

As I said, I sat alone upon a large mushroom, admist the towering flowers. I was bored, beyond all reason. Sure, things are always happening in Wonderland.. They just weren't happening around me.

My mood was so blah, and even the crazy colors of Wonderland couldn't cheer me up. Thoughts of my previous days clouded my mind, not letting anything else in.

I had always thought that my first kiss would be so perfect. Fireworks would fly up in the air and there would be a crowd would be 'aww'ing in the background, followed by champagne and a diamond necklace.

Yea.. I fantisize..

But my first kiss was far from any of that.

Bomb like heartless were floating in the air; not fireworks.

There was no crowd awwing; only a stingy Queen waiting to break it up.

And it wasn't followed by champagne and diamonds; just me running to my room and crying my eyes out.

Yea... a great first kiss..

It would have been better if it wasn't clouded by guilt..

You're lying..

He thinks your someone else..

He doesn't even know your real name..

You're becoming something terrible..

You're no better then that Queen!

You've left your only real friend in the world! Left her to die!

It's your fault now!

When it comes to the end of the game, You'll be swallowed up by the darkness

and it's probably better that way!!

The thought's wouldn't leave.. They kept running around in circles in my head, repeating themselves. Every time, with more venom and cruelty dripping from their voices..

I cupped my hands over my ears, as if it would somehow help. My heart ached so much, and I couldn't understand why. It was as if someone had reached their hand inside my body, grasped my heart, and squeezed it everytime I took a breath. Which, in return, only made my breaths more quick and short.

"You might want to calm down." A somewhat familiar voice said behind me. I jumped a bit, gasping, and had to dig a hand into the soft top of the mushroom to keep from falling off of it.

I looked behind my self, looking for the owner of the voice that had called out to me. At first, I saw nothing. Just a forest of flower stems and weeds. But soon, a silhouette of a smile came into view. Then, only a little after that, the outline of a body; followed by stripes, a tail, and soon- two yellow eyes.

I was looking into the soul-seeing eyes of the Cheshire Cat once again.

"You scared the shi-"

"I don't care, really. Perhaps I did not come here to scare you." the cat said.

My expression went a little blank. I love the Cheshire Cat with all my heart. I have a huge stuffed animal of him back home, in which I would cuddle with every night... But today was serioulsly a day where I did NOT want to deal with his riddles.

"Just go away.." I said, laying down onto my side on the mushroom.

He didn't. I wasn't really expecting him too.

Instead, I suddenly felt a little pressure on my hip. When I glanced up, I found him sitting there, grinning down at me.

"You're back, again? Only with more problems?" he asked.

I scoffed. "Me? Problems? Never!" I said, sarcasm dripping off my words.

"Your sarcasm is easily noted." he told me.

Maybe it wasn't just my "blah" mood, but the Cheshire Cat didn't seem so... crazy.. as he normally did.

I sat up a little, causing him to jump from the side of my hip, and in front of me. "You've done something, have you not?"

"No.. I'm just fine."

"If you were fine, then you wouldn't be here."

Again, I scoffed. "Oh, really? Then where would I be?"

The cat shrugged. "Anywhere. Anywhere but here, having a panic attack on a giant mushroom."

"Panic attack..?" I asked, but then thought about it. Sure, I've had a lot of panic attacks in my life, but none like that.

"So, what did you do?" He asked again. I knew I couldn't back out of telling him. He would find a way somehow.. I might as well take the easy way out, and tell him now.

So I sighed. "I hurt someone close to me.."

"If you hurt someone, then they are obviously not that close." The cat stated, with that 'matter-of-fact' tone.

I looked at him for a second, before really taking in what he said. "Well... this person WAS really close to me.. But then... just not. "

"And why is that?"

"I dunno.." I said, shrugging, and sitting crisscross. I played with the laces on my shoes as I continued. "We used to be the best of friends.. the type that I could hide nothing from.. the type that could read my mood from 887 miles away.. But here.. Things changed. I met someone new.. Actually, I've met a lot of new people.. and because of it, I've gotten further in my life then I have ever gotten before! But... "

"Does it hurt?" the cat asked, plainly. It was, again, odd hearing him talk without riddles and rhymes.

But I nodded. And I agreed with him.

"Yea..."

Things got quiet. For once in history, both I -Eriset Knights-, and the Cheshire Cat had nothing to say...

I saw a stick on the far side of the mushroom. Stretching over, I picked it up, and began to draw little designs into the mushroom. The mushroom, oddly, was easy to draw on. When scraped with the stick, the yellow skin became brown.

Soon, I began to write. It wasn't anything really.. a silly little poem, that expressed how I was feeling.

"I feel like a ragdoll.. in a way.." I said, breaking the silence. The Cheshire cat looked at me, but not in confusion. He had a face as if he knew I was going to say this all along.

"And how so?" he asked, leaning on his elbows, and setting his chin between his hands. His large tail swayed from side to side behind him.

I kept writing, and shrugged. "I just do.. I feel as if I'm not the one controlling my life anymore.. Like there's someone else, above me, pulling strings and laughing."

"Is that so?" the cat asked, grinning.

"Yea... and as for me, all I do is flop around, bidding by their wishes.. Making me hurt the ones I used to hold so dear... and lie to the ones that I love.."

"And this person is?"

"Hell if I know.. The Queen doesn't care too much about where my life leads me at the moment.. Ansem only really cares about Kingdom Hearts.. and the Organization doesn't even come into the story for awhile!"

"Organization?" All the Cheshire Cat was doing was asking me random questions.. but I didn't mind really, it made me feel better.

But I did curse at myself a bit for letting out information on the next games. "..Their nobody."

"Quite literally" The cat said, smirking now.

I glanced at him. "... What??" I said, surprised that he would catch the "nobody" pun. But he only grinned at me, and rolled onto his back. His eyes still stared into mine.

"Being here won't help you." he said. "Your only wasting your time."

I finished the last little sentence on the little poem atop the mushroom, and threw the stick into the flower forest. "Wasting time? What time? All I ever do back there is hurt people! And it's not like I even want to!"

"Hmm. I guess your right. All in all, time is only an illusion."

I scoffed, once more. "Heh. Yea, so is reality."

The cat shrugged. "Reality is only as real as you make it. And as for you, I think it's time you'd be leaving."

I crossed my arms. "I don't feel like it! Maybe I like it here!!"

"Mm." The Cheshire Cat stood up now, on his hind legs. "Yes.. and perhaps you would also like it on a pirate ship, sailing through the stars."

I laughed, fakely. "Hah, yea. Since when does Wonderland have a pi-..."

Yea, it took me a second to realize it.

"NEVER LAND!" I said, standing up. "Ohh!! Their at Neverland right now, aren't they!! On hook's ship!!"

The cat's grin glowed brightly.

"They left without me! How could they?!" I was furious, I wont lie about that. I jumped off of the mushroom, and looked back to the Cat. "Wait.. How would you know where they are?"

He shrugged. "I know where everyone is. Where they should be. Where you shouldn't."

"... You know, some people call that stalking." I said, letting the cat know that his knowledge could be a bit.. fightning at times.

"It's not stalking." He said, his body slowly starting to disappear from the mushroom. Soon, it was only his teeth saying "It's knowing, without anyone knowing that I know." And with that, his mouth disappears, tooth by tooth.

I sighed. Even the Cheshire Cat couldn't last ten minutes without confusing the hell outta me.

I made my way away from the mushroom. My hands kept making small fist.. I couldn't believe that they'd actually left without me!

Or.... I couldn't believe Riku would..!!

And that's when it all hit me..

That moment.. that kiss.. it was all a lie, wasn't it? He was in on it with the Queen! He kissed me.. to distract me! And send me into confusion, while he and the Queen escape with Kairi!

I stopped walking, and stared down at the purple and blue grass, my hair covering my eyes.

And I started to laugh...

They don't know that I know..!

Just like the Cheshire Cat said!

They both have no idea that I know exactly where they are! Both of them tried to get away from me, thinking that they could trick me!

The laughter and smirk on my lips felt dark, but good.. little did I know that the strings of my Puppet Master were doing their work again..

My head looked up, and I stared straight ahead of me. I know what's going to happen after all of this..! I am basically a psychic to these people! I know their every moves! Lines! Death scenes!!

"It's not stalking.." I said, starting to walk again. I laughed, letting the words of the Cheshire Cat leave my mouth, now with total and complete understanding.

"It's just knowing, without anyone knowing that I know."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Her skin is white cloth,
and she's all sewn apart
and she has many colored pins
sticking out of her heart.

She has many different zombies
who are deeply in her trance.
She even has a zombie
who was originally from France.

But she knows she has a curse on her,
a curse she cannot win.
For if someone gets
too close to her,

the pins stick farther in.
-Written, on top a mushroom, somewhere in Wonderland.-
--anonymous--