"Mom? From Now On I Want You To Call Me Mikey. How come Michelle? Because I Want To Be A Boy."
The Aftermath
After I told Gerard what I wanted to be, I bolted. I ran up to my room and slamed the door so hard that I thought that it was going to come off its hinges. After that, I collapsed on my bed and cried. I never really liked crying. I thought it was a sign of weakness, but then Gerard once told me that if I kept botteling up my emotions like that, then I would eventually explode.
Oh God. What is he going to say now? What if he leaves? Says that he doesn't want a fucked up sibling? No. I couldn't handel that.
Just then, I heard a soft knock on my door. "Michelle? Are you in there?"
Gerard? Why was he asking if I was in here? I thought that he'd be long gone by now.
"Yeah. I'm in here," I croaked out.
"Can I come in?"
Should I let him? I didn't want him to tell me that I was wrong for wanting to be a boy. Telling me that I am who I already was and just accept that and stop being stupid. But, then again, I can never say no to him.
"Yes," I whispered.
I didn't think that he could hear me, but then I heard my door open and close and soft footsteps on my carpet. I then felt my bed shift with Gerard's weight as he sat down and started lightly strocking my hair.
"Baby, have you always felt this? Like you weren't who you were ment to be?" he asked.
I sniffed and nodded.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
I got up and faced him with fresh tears running down my face.
"Because I thought that you would tell me that I was stupid and was just going through a stupid tom boy phase and to get over myself because thats not what I really wanted. And I thought that you would think that I was fucked up and want to live with some one who wasn't right in the head," I cried.
"No. No, no, sugar no. How could you ever think that? You know me. I love you just the way are or just the way that you want to be. I will never think that you are stupid are not right in the head. You were and will always be my baby. Whether that's baby sister or baby brother. I don't care. Just as long as you're happy," Gerard said.
I flung my arms around him and sobbed into his shoulder. How does he always know the right thing to say to me? He always makes me feel so loved.
"So, I guess that I'll have to find some one else to talk about boys with huh?" he asked.
I snorted. Gerard, like me, was gay. And I guess the good thing about a gay guy having a sister is that you get to talk boys with them.
"No, Gerard. We can still do that," I told him with a smile.
He looked confuzzeled. Yes confuzzeled. My word don't steal or I will hunt you down.
"I'm gay, Gee."
"Oh..."
I smaked him on the shoulder.
He laughed at me and hugged me tighter.
"So," he asked when we let go. " What did you want to be called? I kind of missed it amungst the screaming."
"Micheal James Way," I told him.
"Micheal... I like that. I fits you. But how about Mikey. That seems to fit a lot better," Gerard said.
I beamed at him. Leave it to him to come up a name like that.
He kissed me on the cheek and hugged me again.
I blushed and gingerly hugged him back. There is one more secret that I have. I've never told anybody this not even Frankie. I'm in love with some one. And this some one is hugging me right now. Yes I am in love with my brother. I am in love with Gerard Arthur Way.
I am SO SORRY!!!! Skittels and Starbucks for everybody who has been waiting for this. I'm sorry I've just been so busy with school and my school musical and now that the musical is over I will try to update as much as I can.
Oh God. What is he going to say now? What if he leaves? Says that he doesn't want a fucked up sibling? No. I couldn't handel that.
Just then, I heard a soft knock on my door. "Michelle? Are you in there?"
Gerard? Why was he asking if I was in here? I thought that he'd be long gone by now.
"Yeah. I'm in here," I croaked out.
"Can I come in?"
Should I let him? I didn't want him to tell me that I was wrong for wanting to be a boy. Telling me that I am who I already was and just accept that and stop being stupid. But, then again, I can never say no to him.
"Yes," I whispered.
I didn't think that he could hear me, but then I heard my door open and close and soft footsteps on my carpet. I then felt my bed shift with Gerard's weight as he sat down and started lightly strocking my hair.
"Baby, have you always felt this? Like you weren't who you were ment to be?" he asked.
I sniffed and nodded.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
I got up and faced him with fresh tears running down my face.
"Because I thought that you would tell me that I was stupid and was just going through a stupid tom boy phase and to get over myself because thats not what I really wanted. And I thought that you would think that I was fucked up and want to live with some one who wasn't right in the head," I cried.
"No. No, no, sugar no. How could you ever think that? You know me. I love you just the way are or just the way that you want to be. I will never think that you are stupid are not right in the head. You were and will always be my baby. Whether that's baby sister or baby brother. I don't care. Just as long as you're happy," Gerard said.
I flung my arms around him and sobbed into his shoulder. How does he always know the right thing to say to me? He always makes me feel so loved.
"So, I guess that I'll have to find some one else to talk about boys with huh?" he asked.
I snorted. Gerard, like me, was gay. And I guess the good thing about a gay guy having a sister is that you get to talk boys with them.
"No, Gerard. We can still do that," I told him with a smile.
He looked confuzzeled. Yes confuzzeled. My word don't steal or I will hunt you down.
"I'm gay, Gee."
"Oh..."
I smaked him on the shoulder.
He laughed at me and hugged me tighter.
"So," he asked when we let go. " What did you want to be called? I kind of missed it amungst the screaming."
"Micheal James Way," I told him.
"Micheal... I like that. I fits you. But how about Mikey. That seems to fit a lot better," Gerard said.
I beamed at him. Leave it to him to come up a name like that.
He kissed me on the cheek and hugged me again.
I blushed and gingerly hugged him back. There is one more secret that I have. I've never told anybody this not even Frankie. I'm in love with some one. And this some one is hugging me right now. Yes I am in love with my brother. I am in love with Gerard Arthur Way.
I am SO SORRY!!!! Skittels and Starbucks for everybody who has been waiting for this. I'm sorry I've just been so busy with school and my school musical and now that the musical is over I will try to update as much as I can.