What a Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy

When Ryan and I got to school the next morning, Ryan's arm snaked around my waist as usual and he pulled me close to his side. He always made it clear that I was his any way he could. I didn't mind this too much, except for the fact I didn't have any friends of my own. I used to have some friends until I got involved with Ryan, but he made me stay away from them. He was afraid I'd try and tell them the truth. So I was forced to only hang out with Ryan's friends. Of course, only when Ryan was around. He didn't mind if I hung out with his friends in classes though. Ryan had made it clear to his friends that they weren't to touch me. Literally. We can't make any physical contact. I had been able to become friends with one of Ryan's friends, Brendon. It was weird that they were friends because they were practically complete opposites.

Ryan kissed me before I entered my first class, which I had with Brendon. I went and sat in my usual desk which was next to Brendon's.

"Hey Brendon," I said, smiling at him.

"Hello Jenny," he said. "So, how was your weekend?"

"It was good," I lied. "I went to Ryan's."

"Oh," he said. He looked at me for a moment. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah," I said. "I'm fine. Why?"

"I don't know," said Brendon. "You just seem a little off."

I shook my head.

"I'm fine," I said. "I promise."

"Ok," said Brendon. I looked at him. I had thought about just telling him my secret and about what was really going on between me and Ryan. But he was Ryan's best friend. I didn't want this to tear them apart. I need to find someone soon though. I'm so scared of those imaginary walls finally closing in on me. Maybe if I don't find someone to tell soon, I'll just tell Brendon. I'm getting anxious because of my secret with each passing day. I'll wait as long as I can, but I won't live like this forever.