What a Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy

At the end of the day, I kissed Ryan goodbye by his car. I backed up as he got into his car. I watched as he drove off, waiting till I was sure he was out of sight to go back into the school. Brendon was waiting for me at my locker.

"So," said Brendon. "What's going on between you and Ryan?"

I glanced around the hallway. There was still some students straggling in the hallway.

"Not out here," I said. I grabbed his arm, and dragged him to the nearest classroom. I looked inside and saw that it was empty. I pulled Brendon inside the room.

"So?" said Brendon.

"Ok," I said. "I'll have to start at the beginning just so you know what's going on. You know how long Ryan and I have been together right?"

"Yeah," said Brendon. "A little over 6 months."

"And you know that before that, we were friends," I said.

"Really?" Brendon asked.

"Ok, so you didn't know that," I said. "Ryan and I weren't friends in school. We used to be neighbors until my parents moved last year. So that's how we first meant. Our friendship didn't leave our houses."

"I guess it's true that you learn something new everyday," Brendon said.

"Yeah," I said. "Anyways, Ryan wasn't a great friend. If you know the true Ryan, you know he isn't always the nicest person. But he had his moments, and that was enough for me."

Brendon nodded.

"Ok," I said, taking a deep breath. "After I moved, I realized that I couldn't live without Ryan. I eventually told him that I loved him.. But he didn't feel the same way. After that, I didn't speak to Ryan for a while. Until one day he called and asked me to come over to his house. When I got there, he kissed me. I thought he had finally decided that he liked me too. I was so happy. Then he brought me up to his room. He explained to me that he didn't like me and that he had an offer I should take up on. He said we could pretend we were together, but that we would only have a strictly physical relationship. Me be the lovesick girl that I was, agreed. He gave me all sorts of rules. What I was supposed to do. How I was supposed to act around him. He also made it clear that I was his and that I wasn't allowed talk to other guys; except for his friends when he was around. I was also not allowed to reveal this secret to anyone. But I had to tell someone."

"Wait, what?" Brendon said. I sighed.

"Brendon," I said. "What is it that you don't understand?"

"Yours and Ryan's relationship," Brendon said.

"It's strictly physical," I said. Brendon gave me a blank stare. "Sex, Brendon! Ryan's and my relationship is only about sex!"

Brendon became wide eyed.

"I never thought Ryan would do something like that," he said.

"Well he can," I said. "And I can't handle it anymore. I love him too much and it hurts more everyday knowing that all I am to him is someone to have sex with."

Brendon looked past me, at the door. His mouth fell open a bit.

"What?" I said. He didn't say anything. He just continued to stare. I turned around to see what he was looking at. The first thing I saw was a few people standing outside the empty classroom, staring at us in surprise. The second thing I saw was that the door wasn't closed all the way. They had heard everything. The third thing I noticed, was that my imaginary walls were closer than ever, only inches away from finally closing around me.