What a Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy

I left Brendon's a little while later. I headed for Ryan's house. When I entered Ryan's house, I found him sitting in the living room, staring blankly ahead. He had been waiting for me.

"Ryan," I said. He looked over at me.

"So?" Ryan asked.

"It's all set," I said quietly.

"He told you that he loved you?" Ryan asked. I nodded my head. Ryan looked a little relieved. "Good. You know what we do next, right?"

"Yeah," I said. I stood near the couch and watched as Ryan went back to staring blankly in front of him. I looked down at my feet. "I think I'm going to go now."

I looked up at Ryan. He was still looking straight ahead. I stepped closer and leaned down, kissing Ryan gently. I held my lips on his for a momemnt, but he didn't react. I pulled away and stood up. I didn't say anything as I turned and left.

I hated this. It was ruining whatever relationship we had had. I also felt torn between the two. Brendon had told me he loved me. I knew how he felt. But I didn't know how Ryan felt. And I felt like we were drifting away. I can only hope things will be somewhat normal between us when this is all done.

There was school tomorrow. Ryan and I would finish this and I hoped it would be done. I would be able to not be so secretive and lie to people I did care about. But I would end up hurting someone I cared about. But I hoped it would be worth it.