What a Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy
Always About The Sex
When I finished my shower, I pulled my clothes back on and went downstairs. Ryan was sitting on the couch in the living room, watching something on TV. I sat down next to him and kissed him softly on the cheek. He didn't acknowledge my prescence in any way. But that's normal. Sad, I know.
I'm not sure how to exactly explain mine and Ryan's situation. And like I said before, I definately can't explain how I got into this situation. It's my secret that I can't tell. Anyways, we had everyone convinced at school that we were just a regular couple. The only reason Ryan had anything to do with me was for the sex. It was always about sex. I don't think we've ever had a real conversation. I didn't like this life. I wish things were different. I wish I wasn't a slave to Ryan's wants. I wish I could find love. But I couldn't date, because I was supposedly with Ryan. When this had begun, Ryan had made it very clear that I was his. I always thought about asking Ryan if we could try being an actual couple, but I knew he didn't want that. He didn't want attachments. Like I said, it was always about the sex. He just needed someone to fuck when he was horny. And I was the lucky person who got wrapped into this whole thing.
"If you're going to do that can you go somewhere else please?" Ryan suddenly said. He was giving me a disgusted look and I realized I had started crying. I quickly wiped my face and stood up.
"Sorry," I mumbled before rushing out of the room. I went to the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I don't know what had come over me but I collapsed onto the floor and just cried. I'd try to be as quiet as possible but I couldn't help making some slight noise especially when it was hard to breathe. I'm sure I looked pathetic just laying on the floor crying. But I didn't care. I hadn't cried over my situation before. But now I was. And it felt good.
I'm not sure how to exactly explain mine and Ryan's situation. And like I said before, I definately can't explain how I got into this situation. It's my secret that I can't tell. Anyways, we had everyone convinced at school that we were just a regular couple. The only reason Ryan had anything to do with me was for the sex. It was always about sex. I don't think we've ever had a real conversation. I didn't like this life. I wish things were different. I wish I wasn't a slave to Ryan's wants. I wish I could find love. But I couldn't date, because I was supposedly with Ryan. When this had begun, Ryan had made it very clear that I was his. I always thought about asking Ryan if we could try being an actual couple, but I knew he didn't want that. He didn't want attachments. Like I said, it was always about the sex. He just needed someone to fuck when he was horny. And I was the lucky person who got wrapped into this whole thing.
"If you're going to do that can you go somewhere else please?" Ryan suddenly said. He was giving me a disgusted look and I realized I had started crying. I quickly wiped my face and stood up.
"Sorry," I mumbled before rushing out of the room. I went to the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I don't know what had come over me but I collapsed onto the floor and just cried. I'd try to be as quiet as possible but I couldn't help making some slight noise especially when it was hard to breathe. I'm sure I looked pathetic just laying on the floor crying. But I didn't care. I hadn't cried over my situation before. But now I was. And it felt good.
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Comments??~Sally