Story of a hilariously Awkward life
Nope...not blessed enough...and Uncle Charles
So basically we've been through the first stage of Kindergarten, first prayers, new friend and cat attacks...moving on.
That same year before Kindergarten was over for Shay and Mika, the teachers were able to breathe in relief for a short amount of time. If you'll remember from previous chapters, I mentioned that mom had 7 kids before us. Since we were born and moved to Norway a short time after, means we take constant trips down to Singapore to visit the 7 grown ups. And our oldest step sister was about to get married. Her husband to be was approved by mom and the fact the he owns at least 3 motorcycles was a plus to moms book. Her wedding meant having to travel in the middle of a school year, and never have I seen a teacher accepted it so quickly, like Shay's and Jr's teacher did. The first thing Shay did before she left, was promised all the bullies in school to not dare touch Mika, if they did, they would be crouching in pain and have hell for the rest of the school year. Knowing that Mika was safe, we could finally look forward to the next highlight in our life...no not the wedding. The next highlight in our life was to meet Uncle Charles also my dearest God father.
Like I say, nothing phases me much and I seldom join in Shay's and Jr's escapades, but where Uncle Charles was concerned we all had the same agreement. He is God. Well actually not God per say. He happens to be moms younger brother, she had 2 younger brothers, but Charles was our fav amongst the 2. Why? well let me introduce you to Charles. Charles meet the readers, readers, meet Charles...
Uncle Charles is a God on guitar, he lives and breathe rock. He has a rugged look to him and his wardrobe consist of black/white singlet, t-shirts (his fav t-shirt is Jack Daniels no9), jeans, jeans with hole in the knees, and his harley biker boots, and that special suit he wears on grand occasions such as weddings. Uncle Charles was the rebel in his generation and knows every tricks and schemes in the book. He is smart and street wise and often have the coy smile and the teasing smirk on his face. When he feels mischevious he winks his right eye, so quickly that you don't know what hit you. He was the one who trained us in rearranging our faces in split seconds. To those who don't know, go back and read about 1st Prayers. Meeting him was always exciting, because there's always something new to learn from Uncle Charles. He only drinks 2 kinds of drinks, and that happens to be Jack Daniels flat and black coffee. He does not drink water and when asked why, he'll reply: "Well my darlings, because fishes mate in them." Seriously we had no idea what it meant back then. We always thought it was a nice thing that fishes made friends in the water...that was until sex ed class, later in life that shone more light to his saying then necessary... Charles was also mom's fav brother and they were inseperable, it was through Charles, she was introduced to the world of rock, and I must say, that was a true blessings to us.
Now that you have officially met Uncle Charles, we can proceed to my step sister's wedding. The flight to Singapore was uneventful, as we slept most of the way and planned out what we will be doing with Uncle Charles. This should be all mother's dream, kids obeying her on long distance flight..but then again we are no ordinary family. To mom, she knew a huge storm will be coming and it would be a deadly one. She was tensed and couldn't even sit through the flight normally; at one point, she even demanded why the heck was Jr being to bloody polite the stewardest, which gathered her a number of odd looks.
So the trip was basically uneventful. My step sister picked her dress, to Shay's dismay she was the flower girl, and flower girl meant no time running around and tripping people, to add it up she had to be cute and pretty and wear a puffed dress. Jr was disappointed that he DIDN'T become the flower girl. For some reason he thought it would be fun running down the ailse in a puff dress, throwing flowers at people, he was even more crushed that he didn't become the ring barer too, so he sat silently and planned possible pranks.
The Big Day...
Like most wedding day, it starts out with the bride being Godzilla. Yelling and worrying and asking the same question a billion times.."How do I look???" and "Oh my God, I hope everything goes as plan." and sadly for us, we were stuck in the house with bridezilla sis. Now when everything is hectic, my mom knew by heart that Jr would easily cause havoc when unattended, so out comes the good old string. While everyone scurried around to change, Jr sat in the corner like a saint, which made mom even more worried.
Then in walks Uncle Charles. He just came home from sailing and was suppose to walk my sis down the aisle. I finished to change and sat by Jr, talking to Charles and his latest sailing escapades trying to figure out where Canada was, when out came Shay. All prettied up, flowers in hair, pink puffed sleeve dress, white stockings and black mary janes. She looked like a doll...or she would have looked like a doll if she didn't have that frown on her face and looked like she was about to explode in anger. Charles saw it coming and winked his right eye, I knew what that meant and kept my face straight. "You look wonderful Mia" was all Charles said in his deep voice, and Shay huffed and scrunched her face even more. Sadly Jr picked the wrong moment to turned around. The first thing the idiot did was point and laugh.
And like most idiots, he got what was coming to him. A launching Shay, a victim to her explosion. She was on him, faster then a blink of an eye, punching him and strangling the life out of him. The poor fool didn't stand a chance with his ankel tied up. You can hear her screaming "DON'T YOU FRGGIN DARE LAUGH AT ME YOU DEVIL!!! IF YOU DARE TELL ANYONE IN SCHOOL ABOUT THIS I'LL MAKE YOUR LIFE HELL YOU GOT THAT!!!"
Wanna know what dear old Charles did? He chuckled and lit up a cigarette. Mom came rushing out and pulling Shay of my dying brother, who by the way looked half dead and half pertified. As for Shay, the wedding was punishment enough for her and she had to spent another half hour redoing her hair. When they were pulled apart, Charles gave Jr a heart to heart talk as so:
Charles: So Jr, what have you learned about this experience?
Jr: I dunno, what?
Charles: Let me let you in to a secret to how we men survive,and that secret is, never ever point and laugh at a girl.
Jr: Why?
Charles: Well what just happen to you?
Jr: I got bashed up by Shay
Charles: Believe me my boy, that bashing is nothing, if you continue doing that it would get alot worst when you're older
Jr: What do I do?
Charles: Keep your opinions to yourself, don't say anything and if you are forced to, lie through your teeth, believe me, God will show you mercy for it, women, well they won't.
Nice one there Charles;)
At the Wedding...
Now like I mention earlier on religion is a really big part of our lives and my sis, she got married in a catholic church. Like most catholic church, we have the basin for holy water by the entrance, to bless yourslef as you go in...
Shay,still pissed at Jr and was already having a pink puffed, flowery bad day, decided to get Jr back by revenge. How did she do that? well scare him. She told him that he couldn't enter the church unless he is blessed, otherwise he'd be struck be lightning. The poor boy prayed to God, the whole ride through, looking at the sky for lightning. And that didn't end just there..turning to her, as she was older then him, he asked her how to be bless, she smart ass explain about the holy water and said she would help him out.
Help him out she did. The minute my mom turned around to attend to my bridal sis, Shay led Junior to the holy water basin. He dipped his finger in it and bless himself, then looked up at the ceiling. Shay shooked her head and when "Nope not blessed enough", but before she could say anything else, she was called into the room, leaving a scarred Jr by himself. Scared of being struck by lightning, what did the guy do? easy, dump his head in the basin. Luckily Uncle Charles came in at that exact moment with me. He was horrified and quickly pulled my brother's head of the basin. Honest to God, this was my brother's exact words:
"AM I STRUCKED BY LIGHTNING YET??? NO?? IT'S WORKED I AM BLESSED!!!!!"
Holy water was dripping down his face, his hair was soaking wet, smiling maniacally and was excited to be blessed, although his innocent mind failed to comply that he has a higher risk of electricution when he is soaked....
more to come in the next chapter
That same year before Kindergarten was over for Shay and Mika, the teachers were able to breathe in relief for a short amount of time. If you'll remember from previous chapters, I mentioned that mom had 7 kids before us. Since we were born and moved to Norway a short time after, means we take constant trips down to Singapore to visit the 7 grown ups. And our oldest step sister was about to get married. Her husband to be was approved by mom and the fact the he owns at least 3 motorcycles was a plus to moms book. Her wedding meant having to travel in the middle of a school year, and never have I seen a teacher accepted it so quickly, like Shay's and Jr's teacher did. The first thing Shay did before she left, was promised all the bullies in school to not dare touch Mika, if they did, they would be crouching in pain and have hell for the rest of the school year. Knowing that Mika was safe, we could finally look forward to the next highlight in our life...no not the wedding. The next highlight in our life was to meet Uncle Charles also my dearest God father.
Like I say, nothing phases me much and I seldom join in Shay's and Jr's escapades, but where Uncle Charles was concerned we all had the same agreement. He is God. Well actually not God per say. He happens to be moms younger brother, she had 2 younger brothers, but Charles was our fav amongst the 2. Why? well let me introduce you to Charles. Charles meet the readers, readers, meet Charles...
Uncle Charles is a God on guitar, he lives and breathe rock. He has a rugged look to him and his wardrobe consist of black/white singlet, t-shirts (his fav t-shirt is Jack Daniels no9), jeans, jeans with hole in the knees, and his harley biker boots, and that special suit he wears on grand occasions such as weddings. Uncle Charles was the rebel in his generation and knows every tricks and schemes in the book. He is smart and street wise and often have the coy smile and the teasing smirk on his face. When he feels mischevious he winks his right eye, so quickly that you don't know what hit you. He was the one who trained us in rearranging our faces in split seconds. To those who don't know, go back and read about 1st Prayers. Meeting him was always exciting, because there's always something new to learn from Uncle Charles. He only drinks 2 kinds of drinks, and that happens to be Jack Daniels flat and black coffee. He does not drink water and when asked why, he'll reply: "Well my darlings, because fishes mate in them." Seriously we had no idea what it meant back then. We always thought it was a nice thing that fishes made friends in the water...that was until sex ed class, later in life that shone more light to his saying then necessary... Charles was also mom's fav brother and they were inseperable, it was through Charles, she was introduced to the world of rock, and I must say, that was a true blessings to us.
Now that you have officially met Uncle Charles, we can proceed to my step sister's wedding. The flight to Singapore was uneventful, as we slept most of the way and planned out what we will be doing with Uncle Charles. This should be all mother's dream, kids obeying her on long distance flight..but then again we are no ordinary family. To mom, she knew a huge storm will be coming and it would be a deadly one. She was tensed and couldn't even sit through the flight normally; at one point, she even demanded why the heck was Jr being to bloody polite the stewardest, which gathered her a number of odd looks.
So the trip was basically uneventful. My step sister picked her dress, to Shay's dismay she was the flower girl, and flower girl meant no time running around and tripping people, to add it up she had to be cute and pretty and wear a puffed dress. Jr was disappointed that he DIDN'T become the flower girl. For some reason he thought it would be fun running down the ailse in a puff dress, throwing flowers at people, he was even more crushed that he didn't become the ring barer too, so he sat silently and planned possible pranks.
The Big Day...
Like most wedding day, it starts out with the bride being Godzilla. Yelling and worrying and asking the same question a billion times.."How do I look???" and "Oh my God, I hope everything goes as plan." and sadly for us, we were stuck in the house with bridezilla sis. Now when everything is hectic, my mom knew by heart that Jr would easily cause havoc when unattended, so out comes the good old string. While everyone scurried around to change, Jr sat in the corner like a saint, which made mom even more worried.
Then in walks Uncle Charles. He just came home from sailing and was suppose to walk my sis down the aisle. I finished to change and sat by Jr, talking to Charles and his latest sailing escapades trying to figure out where Canada was, when out came Shay. All prettied up, flowers in hair, pink puffed sleeve dress, white stockings and black mary janes. She looked like a doll...or she would have looked like a doll if she didn't have that frown on her face and looked like she was about to explode in anger. Charles saw it coming and winked his right eye, I knew what that meant and kept my face straight. "You look wonderful Mia" was all Charles said in his deep voice, and Shay huffed and scrunched her face even more. Sadly Jr picked the wrong moment to turned around. The first thing the idiot did was point and laugh.
And like most idiots, he got what was coming to him. A launching Shay, a victim to her explosion. She was on him, faster then a blink of an eye, punching him and strangling the life out of him. The poor fool didn't stand a chance with his ankel tied up. You can hear her screaming "DON'T YOU FRGGIN DARE LAUGH AT ME YOU DEVIL!!! IF YOU DARE TELL ANYONE IN SCHOOL ABOUT THIS I'LL MAKE YOUR LIFE HELL YOU GOT THAT!!!"
Wanna know what dear old Charles did? He chuckled and lit up a cigarette. Mom came rushing out and pulling Shay of my dying brother, who by the way looked half dead and half pertified. As for Shay, the wedding was punishment enough for her and she had to spent another half hour redoing her hair. When they were pulled apart, Charles gave Jr a heart to heart talk as so:
Charles: So Jr, what have you learned about this experience?
Jr: I dunno, what?
Charles: Let me let you in to a secret to how we men survive,and that secret is, never ever point and laugh at a girl.
Jr: Why?
Charles: Well what just happen to you?
Jr: I got bashed up by Shay
Charles: Believe me my boy, that bashing is nothing, if you continue doing that it would get alot worst when you're older
Jr: What do I do?
Charles: Keep your opinions to yourself, don't say anything and if you are forced to, lie through your teeth, believe me, God will show you mercy for it, women, well they won't.
Nice one there Charles;)
At the Wedding...
Now like I mention earlier on religion is a really big part of our lives and my sis, she got married in a catholic church. Like most catholic church, we have the basin for holy water by the entrance, to bless yourslef as you go in...
Shay,still pissed at Jr and was already having a pink puffed, flowery bad day, decided to get Jr back by revenge. How did she do that? well scare him. She told him that he couldn't enter the church unless he is blessed, otherwise he'd be struck be lightning. The poor boy prayed to God, the whole ride through, looking at the sky for lightning. And that didn't end just there..turning to her, as she was older then him, he asked her how to be bless, she smart ass explain about the holy water and said she would help him out.
Help him out she did. The minute my mom turned around to attend to my bridal sis, Shay led Junior to the holy water basin. He dipped his finger in it and bless himself, then looked up at the ceiling. Shay shooked her head and when "Nope not blessed enough", but before she could say anything else, she was called into the room, leaving a scarred Jr by himself. Scared of being struck by lightning, what did the guy do? easy, dump his head in the basin. Luckily Uncle Charles came in at that exact moment with me. He was horrified and quickly pulled my brother's head of the basin. Honest to God, this was my brother's exact words:
"AM I STRUCKED BY LIGHTNING YET??? NO?? IT'S WORKED I AM BLESSED!!!!!"
Holy water was dripping down his face, his hair was soaking wet, smiling maniacally and was excited to be blessed, although his innocent mind failed to comply that he has a higher risk of electricution when he is soaked....
more to come in the next chapter