Story of a hilariously Awkward life

Well I am back once again with a new chapter about my life, and childhood and all the things I witness. On with the story...

So wedding bells was over and 'I dos' were exchanged between my sister and her husband, everyone was happy, Uncle Charles got his Jack Daniels and Shay was officially scared with the horrific tale of being a flower girl. Jr still thought he was blessed and we let him believe it. When it was time to leave everyone was happy...or at least the grown up were, and mom was relieved...it wasn't until we had to change flights in France did she start to fear coming back home.

So home we when, back to the valleys and the mountains, the lakes and our good ol' Norway. Yep we lived in a small farming community just outside the main town of Skien, in the south east area of Norway. It was beautiful and it was amazing. Everyone knew each other, in some cases was mom worst nightmare..but who can blame her? There were farms, and lands and all.
Our house was just outside the small town, we had our own land, it was small and there wasn't any point with doing anything about it, giving us room for a large garden. The forest was our back yard and the mountains, just across the road. Through the forest, 5 mins to the right, you get Mika, 5 mins to the left, you get a beautiful lake that mirrors the sunset, and the stars on autumn nights. We loved it, it was our home. The sweet scent of pine is just amazing.
Being raised in a farming community means you learn hard work, you learn to appreciate the seasons and how to tell wether or not crops will be good that year. You learn to read the weather, and feel the changes...most importantly you learn which animals have a nasty temper and when to run for your lives.

The first thing we did when we came back to Norway, was bug Mika and over exagerate Shay's horrific flower girl stories. We even told him the trip sucked...honestly it didn't, but we missed him too much to tell him the truth. Jr even when as far as to tell him that he was blessed by God against his will, but whatever it was, we were glad to see him; with no bruises I might add. His mother even told us about what a saint he was in school, which left Shay shaking her head sadly, fearing for her best friend's mental health.

Being back meant celebrating. How did we celebrate? We when to see farmer Peter. Yep that day meant marking Mika's worst fears now and forever. You see, farmer Peter owns animals such as pigs, cows, bulls, geese and ducks. Oh and the amazing tractor that gave us free rides and was 10 times better then any carousel.

Now behind his property was the most beautiful river we saw. The pebbles giltered in the sun and it wasnt deep, so we could swim, under the watchful eye of his wife that is. So, the weather was nice and cooled and we got dressed. Mika's mom dropped us off by his gate and drove off. Now farmer Pete's wife loves talking, and when she talks we get bored. She'd tell us about animals and their names, but the truth is we just don't care and was only there because we wanted to swim. Not to mention Chi Chi, the vicious Chihuaua she owned. Seriously, we can never leave that place without crawling out like army training, thanks to Chi Chi gnawing on our pants.

Already at the gate, we were setting out our "battle plan", and how do avoid "getting in the way" from Chi Chi and his chubby owner, without wrestling our way out or finding our ears from the ground.
So the plan was, creep in to the land, scope the area. Quickly say "hi there" to farmer Pete if we see him, crawl under the kitchen window, quickly hide behind the raspberry bushes and scope out some more, before coming up with the next form of tactic. So far so good, we even when as far as to pack a set of binoculors, walkie talkies and water bottles. We even had code names. Mika was Blue Cookie, Jr was Evil Kenivil, Shay was Miss Muppet and I was Penelope Pineapple.

The first bit was easy, Mika almost failed it, because he just had to peek at what kind of pie farmer Pete's wife was baking. Luckily Jr had sense enough to drag him away by the shirt. We flung ourselves in the raspberry bushes and staked out. Each moment was pure hell, mingled with excitement. Our hearts was racing and we were tensed, our sense of hearing was alerted to each sound we heard, our eyes quick to detect movements. To us, we are doing a noble duty, a duty to our country and for kids our age...til this day I still didn't know what the duty was or wether or not we suceeded, you'll be the judge to that at the end of the chapter.

Now the raspberry bushes were located slightly adjacent to the house and farm, giving us the full layout to the landscape. We could see the stream from where we were hiding out. The cows are located to the right, we could 'expertly' smell them in the winds. Then, there was a small feild, with a small fence. If we managed to get across the fence then we are free to swim all afternoon. But first we had to get across the fence, we had to calculate our movements perfectly and we had to be ready to run as though we had the devil at our heels.

The first thing we did was sorted out our gear equally, that way we would all have the same amount of weight and no one would be left behind. Once we got that sorted out, we drew straws to see who would go first. We decided to go one at the time, that way the others would be safe and if the person running gets caught, that person would distract the farmer's wife, saving the others, while we figure out an escape plan for him/her.
So, basically Jr drew the longest straw, then Shay, then me and last Mika. Mika quickly took his position as the look out, Shay handed over her binoculors. At the count of 3, Jr ran full speed. It was the first time I saw him run, and being in trouble alot helps with the speed, because he made it safely across the wooden fence and dived into the nearest bush; immedeaitely contacting us via walkie talkie, telling us he was safe.
Next was Shay, she made it safely throuh as well,but when it came to my turn...a complication was spotted. Farmer Pete's wife was outside the house coming out to the porch with the pie. Chi Chi would soon be at her side, and that means pure bred attack. So Mika and I decided that I would go first, and he will come when I was half way through the feild. We wished each other luck, I turned around, took a deep breath and ran.
I was doing really good, almost at the fence, I could hear Mika just right behind me...almost half way through I heard Mika's walkie talkie crackled:

"Blue Cookie!!! RED ALERT!! RED ALERT!!! CHI CHI IS OUT ON PROPERTY RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!! YOU CAN DO IT GUYS!"

My heart was in my throat I picked up my speed, I could hear Mika doing the same...then the sound I feared the most, was the sound I heard loud and clear...Chi Chi's loud bark, and the barking was getting louder, that little dog was catching up on us and fast...the walkie talkie crackled yet again:

"RED ALERT! RED ALERT! PINEAPPLE, BLUE COOKIE CHANGE DIRECTION, I REPEAT CHANGE DIRECTION, CHI CHI IS COMING UP AND FAST...TURN RIGHT!!!TURN RIGHT!!!"

And turned right we did only at the wrong timing. As we turned right, we found ourselves heading to the direction of the Duck pen, and farmer Pete was getting ready to release them. We were way to fast and we wouldn't be able to brakes even if we wanted to, heck we didn't want to brakes at all, due to "Lucifer" chasing after us...so as we reached the pen, the ducks were released...and they got angry, offended and scared, at us ,the two fullspeed lunatics, disrupting their social life of waddling about on the farm. They flew, they protested and the Alpha male of the ducks got on the offensive and decided to pick the time to fight with us.

So basically Mika and I not only had Lucifer on our hands, but a pissed of drake chasing after us. Thus begin the dance of quickly picking our way through the ducks, dodging the drake, and making a full 180 and head towards the fence with both duck and dog chasing after us.
I was already out of breath, and lagging behind Mika, I just wanted to fall to the ground and let them get me. Mika being the gentleman he always is, ran back to me, took my hand and half drag me towards the fence. When we almost reached the fence, he swung me hard, rocketting me towards it and I slid under it to safety. He however was not so lucky...Lucifer gave up unwillingly when farmer Pete angrily called him back, but unlike dogs, ducks are their own master and the pissed off drake proved that point so well. He flew up in anger, launched himself and bit poor Mika in the bum...hard. The kid didn't know what hit him...he rocketed in pain, only to land in more pain, as his jewels hit the fence loud thud. The poor kid almost past out, and he did screamed like a girl too.

Shay and Jr being quick thinkers, immediately picked the half dying in pain Mika and carried him to the river and threw him in where his pain was eased in the cool water of the river. And with that, our mission was completed, we had one casualty, we learned, never pissed off the ducks and no matter how tempting the river was, it is not worth going through Chi Chi aka Lucifer and the ducks. Mika learned that his mortal enemies are ducks and now hold a strong grudge against them! Oh and last of all, the most important thing we learned was friendship. We stucked together no matter what and how painfull it may be. We counted on each other, and although Mika got hurt and I got scraped, we all made it through alive!
More to come in the next chapter:)