Story of a hilariously Awkward life
Jr knows Best...Q&A with nun, priest and mom
Ok, so a new chapter and a short intermission to get to know characters even better and why they are the way they are. So here's are some questions reguarding religion, and Jr's replies...enjoy!
Nun: Who made you?
Jr: Mom and Dad...who else?
Nun: What is a holy trinity?
Jr: My mother, My father and I
Nun: Where's Jesus?
Jr: From what I learn, he's hiding out somewhere..
Nun: (loosing patience)...explain
Jr: (getting agitated) when he was born he hid out in a make shift box, when the romans looked for him he hid out like, Mika...in a linen closet, when he died, he hid out in a cave with a big rock...and then we lost track after his great escape, so why ask me, when you know I don't know where he is!?
Nun: (taking a deep breath and countig silently to 10) Tell me why William do you believe in Jesus?
Jr: (light bulb lighted up) That I know!
*nun looks at him with hope*
Jr: I believe in Jesus because when I pray, Jesus gives money and help mom win the lottery!
*Hope seeped out of the nuns face, gasp and clasp her hand over her mouth in shock*
Nun: Are you trying to be funny and play a fool??
Jr: (innocently) no sister Agnes.
This is where the nun pulled his ears all the way to the Priest office. After silently conversing with the priest while Jr looks at them with suspicion and curioisty, he was called up to the priest....this is how their conversation when..
Priest: Take a sit William, I would like to have a word with you.
Jr: Ok, but can we leave the door open?
Priest : No. (waits for Jr to close the door and sit.) Now I would like to ask you some questions about God and religion.
Jr: Sister Agnes was already doing that when she dragged me here...why can't she finish it?
Priest: Because Sister Agnes have other children to attend too..
Jr: so I'm blessed?
Priest: (clears his throat) Er..we'll come to that later...now shall we start?
*Jr nods and shruggs*
Priest: God appears in 3 form, can you name the 3 forms he appears in?
Jr: (thinks for awhile) Ah HAH! I know! he appeared as Jesus, Mary and Joesph.
*Preist looked at him shocked and was taken slightly aback*
Preist: erm..Where Is God?
Jr: I really don't know, why do the chruch always ask people that question? If you think he's missing then go to the police. I really don't know, to me he's really is invisible!
*Preist rubs his temple, calming agitation down...*
Priest: O..k...lets go for something simple...in the Old Testement of the bible, who is Moses?
*Jr, distracted my the holy icons in the room didn't hear the question except 'who is moses?' part replied as so...*
Jr: Charleston Heston From Hollywood in the movie 'The The Commandments'!
At this point, steam was rising out of his ears... taking a deep breath and using a strict tone he said...
Priest: William, could you please wait outside my office and shut the door behind you?
Jr: ok...*gets up leave he office, just before he shut the door he turns to the preist* ...So, Father am I blessed?
Priest: NO! infact you're heading down to hell!
Door slams shut, preist rang mom up, mom came, and with each sentence the priest spoke, we noticed mom's blood pressure rising and that she was seeing red. The ride home was a silent one...the calm before the storm...
Back home, mom decided to catch Jr and be a good catholic mom and teach him about religion...this is how it went..
Mom: what's the holy rosary for Jr?
Jr: Praying, choice weapon of puishment used by nuns and preist and a holy scared sling shot.
*Uncle Charles chokes on his coffee, mom glares at both Uncle Charles and Jr.*
Mom: What does receiving the body and blood of christ teach you?
Jr: Vampiric Canabalism.
*Charles hold back a laughter,mom shocked*
Mom: where did you learn that word?
Jr: Shay and... horror movies..
Mom: (slightly pissed) What does the apostle's creed teach you?
Jr: that the dead will rise again, like zombies.
*Charles still holding in his laughter*
Mom: Be warned, if you get the next question wrong, you'd be grounded and say a penenace in front of the altar...Now answer me! Who is St. Peter?
Jr: The dude with the key?
Mom: What dude?
Jr: OH wait (in fear already) I KNOW!!!! HE'S THE GUY THAT BETRAYED JESUS!
At this point even mom let a giggle slip while Uncle Charles roared in laughter.
Mom: The Guy that betrayed Jesus was JUDAS! and SAINTS ARE NOT DUDES!!!! go do your penance and you're grounded!!!! Charles make sure he does it!
Uncle Charles winked at mom, set his coffe down, shook his head in laughter and walked Jr out to his doom...the only thing I heard was a soft chuckle from Uncle Charles...*rock on dude! rock on!....
Nun: Who made you?
Jr: Mom and Dad...who else?
Nun: What is a holy trinity?
Jr: My mother, My father and I
Nun: Where's Jesus?
Jr: From what I learn, he's hiding out somewhere..
Nun: (loosing patience)...explain
Jr: (getting agitated) when he was born he hid out in a make shift box, when the romans looked for him he hid out like, Mika...in a linen closet, when he died, he hid out in a cave with a big rock...and then we lost track after his great escape, so why ask me, when you know I don't know where he is!?
Nun: (taking a deep breath and countig silently to 10) Tell me why William do you believe in Jesus?
Jr: (light bulb lighted up) That I know!
*nun looks at him with hope*
Jr: I believe in Jesus because when I pray, Jesus gives money and help mom win the lottery!
*Hope seeped out of the nuns face, gasp and clasp her hand over her mouth in shock*
Nun: Are you trying to be funny and play a fool??
Jr: (innocently) no sister Agnes.
This is where the nun pulled his ears all the way to the Priest office. After silently conversing with the priest while Jr looks at them with suspicion and curioisty, he was called up to the priest....this is how their conversation when..
Priest: Take a sit William, I would like to have a word with you.
Jr: Ok, but can we leave the door open?
Priest : No. (waits for Jr to close the door and sit.) Now I would like to ask you some questions about God and religion.
Jr: Sister Agnes was already doing that when she dragged me here...why can't she finish it?
Priest: Because Sister Agnes have other children to attend too..
Jr: so I'm blessed?
Priest: (clears his throat) Er..we'll come to that later...now shall we start?
*Jr nods and shruggs*
Priest: God appears in 3 form, can you name the 3 forms he appears in?
Jr: (thinks for awhile) Ah HAH! I know! he appeared as Jesus, Mary and Joesph.
*Preist looked at him shocked and was taken slightly aback*
Preist: erm..Where Is God?
Jr: I really don't know, why do the chruch always ask people that question? If you think he's missing then go to the police. I really don't know, to me he's really is invisible!
*Preist rubs his temple, calming agitation down...*
Priest: O..k...lets go for something simple...in the Old Testement of the bible, who is Moses?
*Jr, distracted my the holy icons in the room didn't hear the question except 'who is moses?' part replied as so...*
Jr: Charleston Heston From Hollywood in the movie 'The The Commandments'!
At this point, steam was rising out of his ears... taking a deep breath and using a strict tone he said...
Priest: William, could you please wait outside my office and shut the door behind you?
Jr: ok...*gets up leave he office, just before he shut the door he turns to the preist* ...So, Father am I blessed?
Priest: NO! infact you're heading down to hell!
Door slams shut, preist rang mom up, mom came, and with each sentence the priest spoke, we noticed mom's blood pressure rising and that she was seeing red. The ride home was a silent one...the calm before the storm...
Back home, mom decided to catch Jr and be a good catholic mom and teach him about religion...this is how it went..
Mom: what's the holy rosary for Jr?
Jr: Praying, choice weapon of puishment used by nuns and preist and a holy scared sling shot.
*Uncle Charles chokes on his coffee, mom glares at both Uncle Charles and Jr.*
Mom: What does receiving the body and blood of christ teach you?
Jr: Vampiric Canabalism.
*Charles hold back a laughter,mom shocked*
Mom: where did you learn that word?
Jr: Shay and... horror movies..
Mom: (slightly pissed) What does the apostle's creed teach you?
Jr: that the dead will rise again, like zombies.
*Charles still holding in his laughter*
Mom: Be warned, if you get the next question wrong, you'd be grounded and say a penenace in front of the altar...Now answer me! Who is St. Peter?
Jr: The dude with the key?
Mom: What dude?
Jr: OH wait (in fear already) I KNOW!!!! HE'S THE GUY THAT BETRAYED JESUS!
At this point even mom let a giggle slip while Uncle Charles roared in laughter.
Mom: The Guy that betrayed Jesus was JUDAS! and SAINTS ARE NOT DUDES!!!! go do your penance and you're grounded!!!! Charles make sure he does it!
Uncle Charles winked at mom, set his coffe down, shook his head in laughter and walked Jr out to his doom...the only thing I heard was a soft chuckle from Uncle Charles...*rock on dude! rock on!....
♠ ♠ ♠
Just hope you enjoy this chapter. Note: Things the characters knows best will appear often in this series as an intermission, a treat in between stories...it is also a reference guide and understanding of my life, the circus with it and link of the stories to follow...I am not pushing religion on anyone, but religion will be mentioned due to the haywire upbringing I have around it...cheers!