My Life... Bleeding on the Bathroom Floor
Forever Is Never Enough
One Year Later
"Sonny... are you mad at me, baby?"
"No! Stop asking!" he screamed at me. I receded in my seat. We've been together for a little over a year...and we've been on the rocks.
"I'm sorry baby... I love you."
"Liar...."
"What?! You're going to question whether I love you or not?!" I screamed back at him. Jumping up from the couch. He got up too, fists balled up and face turning red.
"Oh! And like you don't question mine?! Give me a fucking break Mara!" Oh no he --
"You stupid fuck! Don't you ever fucking call me Mara!" I screeched.
"Piss off you cunt! Fucking whore!"
"Whore?! Well same to you fuckface!"
"Don't give me that! I know you're fucking Frank!" I could literally feel the air being knocked from me as he said that. I wasn't sleeping with Frank... but since me and Sonny grew apart... my feelings were intensified.
"You're right. I cheated on the one man I thought I would grow old with. I fucking cheated on you Sonny fucking Moore! I went out with you, fell for you hard, just to get the thrill of the danger! The thrill of the cheat!" his fists loosened, I walked around him. I snatched my phone off of his kitchen table, and walked out to my car. I turned the key and drove off, looking into my rear-view mirror, Sonny stood in his drive way.
Tears streamed down my face so terribly, I'm surprised that I didn't crash. I pulled into my drive way, and rested my head on the steering wheel. I looked up...and you would think it was the one story house my mother lived in, right? Or maybe Frankie's house? Wrong.
I saw the huge manor, it's vine-covered, sun-bleached walls shone. I got out and went inside, I still had my key, I still came here. I may hate this house and damn it to hell, but when I'm sad I come here.
I feel more at home here when I cry. And my mom was a nosy bitch. I climbed the marble staircase slowly, remembering every tiny step I took on in since I was four... holding my beloved Nanny Marie's hand, up till the one day I came downstairs with blood dripping from my fingers. I was a fucked up twelve year old....
My cell phone rang, it read Nikki. I ignored it and set it to 'Silence All', placing it back in my purse. So many people I've hated.... So few I've loved. And I don't know how many time's I've tried to count... I can never retrieve the amount of people I've hurt... or vice versa.
"Oh house... you stinking tomb of a manor... tell me: Shall I take a bullet to the head? A swing of rope from my balcony? A lethal injection of iodine and crushed pills? Or should I open old wounds, left to bleed myself dry?"
The house didn't answer back... obviously. But if it had things would have been easier. So much for being Mrs. Mara Rose Moore... I really thought we had a chance... I really thought we were meant to be forever. Forever is never enough for you is is Mr. Moore? I didn't fucking think so....
"I hate you Mara Rose... the last thing you need is mercy... the very last thing next to pity." I seethed to myself in the mirror. I balled up my fist and plowed it into the glass' surface. My hand now full of glass and pouring blood felt amazing. Horribly amazing. I let it bleed out, walking with my hand leaving a trail of dripping blood, I fell face first to my bed. I was instantly knocked out.
"Sonny... are you mad at me, baby?"
"No! Stop asking!" he screamed at me. I receded in my seat. We've been together for a little over a year...and we've been on the rocks.
"I'm sorry baby... I love you."
"Liar...."
"What?! You're going to question whether I love you or not?!" I screamed back at him. Jumping up from the couch. He got up too, fists balled up and face turning red.
"Oh! And like you don't question mine?! Give me a fucking break Mara!" Oh no he --
"You stupid fuck! Don't you ever fucking call me Mara!" I screeched.
"Piss off you cunt! Fucking whore!"
"Whore?! Well same to you fuckface!"
"Don't give me that! I know you're fucking Frank!" I could literally feel the air being knocked from me as he said that. I wasn't sleeping with Frank... but since me and Sonny grew apart... my feelings were intensified.
"You're right. I cheated on the one man I thought I would grow old with. I fucking cheated on you Sonny fucking Moore! I went out with you, fell for you hard, just to get the thrill of the danger! The thrill of the cheat!" his fists loosened, I walked around him. I snatched my phone off of his kitchen table, and walked out to my car. I turned the key and drove off, looking into my rear-view mirror, Sonny stood in his drive way.
Tears streamed down my face so terribly, I'm surprised that I didn't crash. I pulled into my drive way, and rested my head on the steering wheel. I looked up...and you would think it was the one story house my mother lived in, right? Or maybe Frankie's house? Wrong.
I saw the huge manor, it's vine-covered, sun-bleached walls shone. I got out and went inside, I still had my key, I still came here. I may hate this house and damn it to hell, but when I'm sad I come here.
I feel more at home here when I cry. And my mom was a nosy bitch. I climbed the marble staircase slowly, remembering every tiny step I took on in since I was four... holding my beloved Nanny Marie's hand, up till the one day I came downstairs with blood dripping from my fingers. I was a fucked up twelve year old....
My cell phone rang, it read Nikki. I ignored it and set it to 'Silence All', placing it back in my purse. So many people I've hated.... So few I've loved. And I don't know how many time's I've tried to count... I can never retrieve the amount of people I've hurt... or vice versa.
"Oh house... you stinking tomb of a manor... tell me: Shall I take a bullet to the head? A swing of rope from my balcony? A lethal injection of iodine and crushed pills? Or should I open old wounds, left to bleed myself dry?"
The house didn't answer back... obviously. But if it had things would have been easier. So much for being Mrs. Mara Rose Moore... I really thought we had a chance... I really thought we were meant to be forever. Forever is never enough for you is is Mr. Moore? I didn't fucking think so....
"I hate you Mara Rose... the last thing you need is mercy... the very last thing next to pity." I seethed to myself in the mirror. I balled up my fist and plowed it into the glass' surface. My hand now full of glass and pouring blood felt amazing. Horribly amazing. I let it bleed out, walking with my hand leaving a trail of dripping blood, I fell face first to my bed. I was instantly knocked out.