Hannah's Regrets
Turning Point
Chapter 4:
The subway kind of feels like one, giant group hug. Only there is no love or laughing going on, and everybody’s trying to touch each other as little as possible. The lucky ones on the benches have made it an art form to fold their newspaper so they don’t poke anyone anywhere vital. Everyone else has to hold on for dear life underneath the pressure of fifty-seven thousand people when the train takes off. Today the subway was very empty. All of the seats were filled up, and only two other people besides me held onto a bar. There was a dirty homeless person with a small guitar sitting on the ground. He strummed his guitar and sang songs of summer and love and watching the world end. He seemed to know a lot. I grabbed one of the handlebars as the train jerked to a start. I reached for my wallet. A couple of coins jingled. I sighed. That was all I had left after that stupid oaf cheated me out of my hard-earned cash. Okay, so it wasn’t too hard earned. Still, it was mine! I dumped the coins into my hand. I had $1.21 in change. I emptied it into the hobo’s cup. He stopped playing and gave me a toothy grin.
“I know a good soul when I see one,” he said. I stared. He patted my leg. I thought he had finished talking.
“Hang in there. This gets harder,” he said. His eyes twinkled.
I shrugged. “Yeah, well…. just don’t buy drugs.” He laughed.
“Hey, man. The 60’s are long gone. Now you can get, like, arrested or something for that shit.” He gave me a grateful look. He looked about thirty-five. A lot younger than you expected him to be at first glance, anyway.
“Today’s my lucky day. Yours will come too,” he continued. The doors opened at my stop. The hobo nodded at me and began playing and singing.
“Don't you just love it when everything changes?
Like all of the sudden, the names and the faces
All slipped through your grasp, and all you once knew
Is totally gone, and nothing is true.
Don't you just adore it?
When you must adapt,
When everything is new
And spilled right in your lap.
Ain't it just jolly?
It's like a fresh start
You're all on your own
And so is your heart
Well I’ll tell you the truth, kid, and I’ve not lied before.
I truly have never been happier before.”
Alrighty then. Did he make that up as he went along? What a weirdo. What the hell is he talking about, anyway?
I shuttered. He creeped me out. I got off of that train as fast as I could.
I walked the distance between the subway stairs and my street. When I got there, some kids were playing stickball in the empty street. A pop-up came over my head. I held out my hand, caught it, and threw it to the nearest baseman. I recognized some of the kids from around the block. The players all paused and then the pitcher said
“Hey! Good arm! Wanna play?” I grinned sheepishly.
“Okay,” I said. He beckoned to an old hubcap.
“You can play second.”
I trudged over to the hubcap and looked around eagerly. The shortstop nodded at me.
“Hey, I’m Tye,” he said. I nodded back.
“Call me Ben,” I said in reply.
“Batter!” shouted the pitcher. One of the kids who was sitting against the wall got up, picked up the stick, and positioned himself behind the garbage can lid that was posing as home plate. We played for about an hour when Mom came out, looking nervous. Then, she spotted me.
“Ben! There you are! I was worried something happened to you!” she said.
“Ma… I was right outside.” She smiled.
“Ok, sorry. I’ll call you for dinner,” she said with an awkward smile. I nodded. I never did anything after school, I always just came right home. This explains why she was worried. I turned back to the game to see all the players’ mouths wide open. I looked back and forth at them.
“What?” I asked, puzzled.
“THAT’S your mom!?!?” cried the batter, dropping the stick.
“Uhh… Yeah,” I said. The first baseman jumped up.
“DUDE! She’s totally HOT!” he shouted. I raised my eyebrows and scratched the back of my head. Well, this is awkward, I thought. I laughed a little uneasily. The third baseman ran his fingers through his hair, eyes as big as the tennis ball he was holding. He was looking up at the door.
“Dude, she must be like seventeen.”
“Are you kidding?” I cried in false surprise. “Nah, she’s …thirty-six,” I said, never doing mental math so fast in my life.
“Alright!” snapped the pitcher. “Enough already! Who wants a water break?”
We all dropped our stuff and went over to the alley between two apartment buildings. There was a pack of Gatorades. We each got one and sat to drink them. Tye came over and sat next to me.
“Hey,” he said casually.
“Hey,” I replied.
“Which building do you live in?” he asked. I patted the one we were leaning against.
“Really? Me too! I thought I’d seen you around somewhere!”
“Hey that’s cool! What floor are you on?” I asked.
“Third. You?”
“Seventh.”
“Awesome. You should swing by some time! I’m in 324. Just call first.”
“Sweet! I will,” I said, trying to contain my excitement. My heart was doing back flips! Someone actually wanted to hang out with me? No way! This is too good to be true!
“Hey guys! Lets play some more!” somebody said, breaking my thoughts. Everyone stood up and began heading out into the street. I heard Mom call my name out the door.
“Coming!” I shouted quickly, and sprinted up to the door. I hoped none of the guys noticed she was out again. That was way too embarrassing.
That night, my weary head hit my pillow. I just layed there, staring up at the ceiling for a while.
Man! This day was freakin’ weird! Whatever. I guess its better than boring.
The subway kind of feels like one, giant group hug. Only there is no love or laughing going on, and everybody’s trying to touch each other as little as possible. The lucky ones on the benches have made it an art form to fold their newspaper so they don’t poke anyone anywhere vital. Everyone else has to hold on for dear life underneath the pressure of fifty-seven thousand people when the train takes off. Today the subway was very empty. All of the seats were filled up, and only two other people besides me held onto a bar. There was a dirty homeless person with a small guitar sitting on the ground. He strummed his guitar and sang songs of summer and love and watching the world end. He seemed to know a lot. I grabbed one of the handlebars as the train jerked to a start. I reached for my wallet. A couple of coins jingled. I sighed. That was all I had left after that stupid oaf cheated me out of my hard-earned cash. Okay, so it wasn’t too hard earned. Still, it was mine! I dumped the coins into my hand. I had $1.21 in change. I emptied it into the hobo’s cup. He stopped playing and gave me a toothy grin.
“I know a good soul when I see one,” he said. I stared. He patted my leg. I thought he had finished talking.
“Hang in there. This gets harder,” he said. His eyes twinkled.
I shrugged. “Yeah, well…. just don’t buy drugs.” He laughed.
“Hey, man. The 60’s are long gone. Now you can get, like, arrested or something for that shit.” He gave me a grateful look. He looked about thirty-five. A lot younger than you expected him to be at first glance, anyway.
“Today’s my lucky day. Yours will come too,” he continued. The doors opened at my stop. The hobo nodded at me and began playing and singing.
“Don't you just love it when everything changes?
Like all of the sudden, the names and the faces
All slipped through your grasp, and all you once knew
Is totally gone, and nothing is true.
Don't you just adore it?
When you must adapt,
When everything is new
And spilled right in your lap.
Ain't it just jolly?
It's like a fresh start
You're all on your own
And so is your heart
Well I’ll tell you the truth, kid, and I’ve not lied before.
I truly have never been happier before.”
Alrighty then. Did he make that up as he went along? What a weirdo. What the hell is he talking about, anyway?
I shuttered. He creeped me out. I got off of that train as fast as I could.
I walked the distance between the subway stairs and my street. When I got there, some kids were playing stickball in the empty street. A pop-up came over my head. I held out my hand, caught it, and threw it to the nearest baseman. I recognized some of the kids from around the block. The players all paused and then the pitcher said
“Hey! Good arm! Wanna play?” I grinned sheepishly.
“Okay,” I said. He beckoned to an old hubcap.
“You can play second.”
I trudged over to the hubcap and looked around eagerly. The shortstop nodded at me.
“Hey, I’m Tye,” he said. I nodded back.
“Call me Ben,” I said in reply.
“Batter!” shouted the pitcher. One of the kids who was sitting against the wall got up, picked up the stick, and positioned himself behind the garbage can lid that was posing as home plate. We played for about an hour when Mom came out, looking nervous. Then, she spotted me.
“Ben! There you are! I was worried something happened to you!” she said.
“Ma… I was right outside.” She smiled.
“Ok, sorry. I’ll call you for dinner,” she said with an awkward smile. I nodded. I never did anything after school, I always just came right home. This explains why she was worried. I turned back to the game to see all the players’ mouths wide open. I looked back and forth at them.
“What?” I asked, puzzled.
“THAT’S your mom!?!?” cried the batter, dropping the stick.
“Uhh… Yeah,” I said. The first baseman jumped up.
“DUDE! She’s totally HOT!” he shouted. I raised my eyebrows and scratched the back of my head. Well, this is awkward, I thought. I laughed a little uneasily. The third baseman ran his fingers through his hair, eyes as big as the tennis ball he was holding. He was looking up at the door.
“Dude, she must be like seventeen.”
“Are you kidding?” I cried in false surprise. “Nah, she’s …thirty-six,” I said, never doing mental math so fast in my life.
“Alright!” snapped the pitcher. “Enough already! Who wants a water break?”
We all dropped our stuff and went over to the alley between two apartment buildings. There was a pack of Gatorades. We each got one and sat to drink them. Tye came over and sat next to me.
“Hey,” he said casually.
“Hey,” I replied.
“Which building do you live in?” he asked. I patted the one we were leaning against.
“Really? Me too! I thought I’d seen you around somewhere!”
“Hey that’s cool! What floor are you on?” I asked.
“Third. You?”
“Seventh.”
“Awesome. You should swing by some time! I’m in 324. Just call first.”
“Sweet! I will,” I said, trying to contain my excitement. My heart was doing back flips! Someone actually wanted to hang out with me? No way! This is too good to be true!
“Hey guys! Lets play some more!” somebody said, breaking my thoughts. Everyone stood up and began heading out into the street. I heard Mom call my name out the door.
“Coming!” I shouted quickly, and sprinted up to the door. I hoped none of the guys noticed she was out again. That was way too embarrassing.
That night, my weary head hit my pillow. I just layed there, staring up at the ceiling for a while.
Man! This day was freakin’ weird! Whatever. I guess its better than boring.