Please Don't Make Me Beg

Outside the window, dawn was beginning to lift the black, starry curtain at the horizon's edge. Lying very still in the silence, Li smiled at the thought that once again, the sun would rise to find her by Billie's side.

She let her eyes wander over his sleeping face, drinking in his beautiful, full lips and his sweet, childlike expression. He slept so peacefully, his hand lying softly on her arm, his breath slow and even.

Could she ever tell him how his wild, fierce heart had spoken to hers, how his passion had set her free after so many years of holding back? She wondered if he had felt it, too. As he had fallen asleep in her arms last night, she had felt the warmth of his tears on her skin, but she couldn't help wondering--were they for her, or for Adie?

Her thoughts wandered back to Andi, and she felt an emptiness in her heart that even Billie couldn't fill. She knew that Andi was with Evan, so she was safe, that much was certain. But Li had only been able to reach Evan once on the phone, and after that, her messages had gone unanswered. How could she begin to heal the wounds between them when she couldn't persuade Andi to talk to her?

Billie's hand slid gently up her arm, resting on her shoulder. His eyes opened slowly, and a smile stole across his face, making the corners of his green eyes crinkle mischievously.

"Hi there," he whispered.

"Hi yourself," she smiled.

He was quiet for a moment, looking into her face as if he were spellbound. "Do you know how beautiful you are to me?" he asked.

Before she met Billie--a lifetime ago--it would have embarrassed her to hear such a compliment. But now she didn't blush, didn't lower her eyes. Her hand found its way to his cheek, and lay there like a kiss. She held his eyes with hers, her lips curved in a blissful smile.

"I'll never forget last night, ever. Please remember that, no matter what happens."

"Neither will I," he sighed. Then his smile faded ever so slightly. "Wait...that almost sounded like something you'd say before you tell each other goodbye." His eyes widened, searching her face for some clue to what she was feeling.

She didn't answer him, but looked into his eyes as tenderly as she could, a sad, wistful smile touching her lips.

He watched her for a moment, hoping she would reassure him that he was wrong, but her silence gave him the answer he didn't want to hear. He tried his best not to sound upset. "Oh, yeah. Sure, I mean, we've both got lives to get back to. I've got a show tomorrow, and you've got Andi--"

"That's just it, Billie. Andi is my world. She's my daughter. And I can't--God, no matter how much I want to keep you here as long as I can--I can't focus on anything now except bringing her home and working things out with her. If it were Joey, I know you'd feel the same way."

"You're right, I would. I know you have to be her mom before anything else. But knowing that, knowing how much you care about her, it just makes it harder, you know?"

"For a hot-shot rock star, you're a pretty great guy, do you know that?"

His laughter was interrupted by the ring of the telephone. They looked at each other, wondering who could be calling so early.

"Want me to get that?" he asked.

"That's okay," she said, rolling over to retrieve the handset. She found her hands were shaking slightly as she thumbed the 'talk' button. "Hello?"

"Hi, is this Andi's mom?"

Li's heart began to slam in her chest. Every nightmare she had ever had about her daughter raced through her mind. "Yes, it is. Who's calling?"

"This is Stevie, Evan's sister. I'm sorry to call so early--I hope I didn't wake you."

"No, no, that's fine. What's going on?" Please don't tell me she's hurt, she thought as the rush of fear surged through her.

"Well, I've been working extra hours this weekend, so I wasn't sure if you and Andi had had a chance to talk yet or not."

"No, actually, I haven't been able to get her on the phone. She's okay, isn't she?"

"Oh, yes, she's fine--I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I just knew you were worried, and I wanted to call you before I went in to work this morning because I knew she'd be sleeping."

"Sounds like she still doesn't want to talk to me." Why else would Stevie call when Andi was asleep?

"Well, see, that's what's been bothering me. I'm not so sure she doesn't. My brother told me that when he talked to you Saturday, you got mad at him because he told you she was napping, and that you hung up on him before he could get Andi on the phone. And I realize I don't know you all that well, but something just didn't sound right about it. I just felt like you'd be trying harder to get in touch with her, as close as the two of you are."

"Wh--what? Stevie, I don't understand! When I spoke to him, he told me he didn't think she wanted to speak to me at all, and then he hung up on me. Haven't you gotten the messages I've left on your machine? There must be at least four!"

"No, there's nothing on there. I don't know what happened to them, but my mom and I usually take messages off, and neither one of us has heard anything."

"Stevie, what's going on?" she begged, panic beginning to creep into her throat.

"I wish I knew, but to tell you the truth, I'm not sure. Look, I'm going to talk to my mom and see what I can find out. I don't want to cause problems, but I just had a feeling there was more to this than he was telling us."

"Is he trying to keep me away from her?" Her voice had a desperate edge to it.

"I don't know. But there is one thing you probably should know about. She and Evan and Dan have been planning to take a trip out to California, to see our brother, Craig."

"California? Why?"

"He's offered to try to help them get their band off the ground--he works with a recording studio out there. She hasn't mentioned it, has she?" Stevie knew the answer before she even asked.

"Not a word. Jesus, how could all this be going on without me even having a clue about it?"

"Please don't feel bad. I didn't know it myself until a few days ago, but apparently it's been in the works for weeks."

"I really need to come over and try to talk to her, Stevie. I can't let her do this. She doesn't have to come home right now, but I can't let her run to the other side of the country after everything else that's happened."

"You're welcome to come, but do you think you can convince her to stay?"

The question was like a spike in Li's heart. Stevie was right. No matter how much she loved Andi, showing up and trying to make her change her plans, with things between them the way they were, might just push her away that much faster.

"I don't know. Maybe? Look Stevie, if you could talk with your mother and then call me back when you get a chance, I'd really appreciate it. And--thank you for calling me. You can't know how much it means to me." She made sure Stevie had her cell number, and then numbly dropped the phone back into the base.

She turned to look at Billie, and his face was a mask of worry and fear.

"What happened?" he asked, sitting up in bed.

"I think my daughter is running away," she said, and burst into tears.

Lying on his bed, hands behind his head, Evan heard the snick of the phone settling back on the cradle. He studied the ceiling carefully, listening as Stevie quietly slipped out the front door.

Well, he thought, he'd gotten Andi straightened out so that she knew how things stood. Looks like he might have to do the same for Stevie. And as for Andi's mother...