Please Don't Make Me Beg

"There's nothing I can say to change your mind, is there?" he asked, his face a picture of defeat. He knew she was wrong, that she would regret making this decision, but she was convinced it was what she had to do, and she was so stubborn...

She couldn't look him in the face, so she studied the glass paperweight on the table beside the bed. "No, Billie, there really isn't."

"So you can honestly tell me you're willing to let this go and never look back?"

Finding her courage, she turned to face him. "Okay, I'll say it, if it's what you need to hear. I'm finding myself falling in love with you. My heart is breaking knowing you belong to Adrienne. I want you so much I can't breathe. I want your mind, your body, your soul--everything that makes you who you are. I want to wake up every morning just the way I did today, seeing you right beside me. I want to spend every single day for the rest of my life discovering every amazing thing about you and making sure you never doubt that you are loved beyond all reason."

"I feel exactly the same way, so what's so wrong with doing what we both want?!"

"But sometimes it isn't just about what we want. What do you think would happen to Joey and Jakob's world if they knew their dad wasn't coming home anymore? We can't forget those little boys just because we want to be happy."

Billie hung his head. What could he say?

Finally, he realized there was nothing more he could do. "I guess this is it, then. I know you need to get in touch with Evan's family. I'll head off and catch up with the guys in Richmond to get ready for the show tonight. I have to tell you, though, I'm not sure my heart's going to be in it."

"I know you'll be wonderful. You always are. It's your music, and it's what you do, better than anyone in the world." She caressed his callused hands gently, smiling her pride in him.

His voice was low and murmuring, full of concern. "I've kept your number, if that's okay. I stored mine on your cell yesterday--and don't be mad, it's just in case you ever need it. You've got to promise me you'll call me as soon as you hear from Andi. I really need to know she's okay."

"I promise. And thank you for caring so much about her. I'm going to call Stevie in just a minute. Maybe her mother and I can get through to them and stop them."

The unshed tears made his breath catch in his chest, and his emerald eyes silently whispered "no...don't let her go..." But he stood, pulling her up and folding his arms around her, crushing her against his chest.

"I can't bear to think I'll never hold you like this again. You'll be with me no matter where I go, or what I do. I'll feel your touch on me until I die." He breathed in the scent of her hair, memorizing every part of her, burning her face into his memory until he knew she would haunt his every dream.

Their lips clung together until she could bear it no more, and she took his face in her hands and gently, tenderly pushed him away.

"You will have my heart forever, Billie Joe."

She watched him as he walked to his car and slid behind the wheel. For a moment, his head rested in his hands, and from the window, she thought she could see his shoulders shaking.

Then, as quickly as he had come into her life, he was gone...

She looked around, lost, at the home that suddenly looked unfamiliar to her. Had it always been this empty? No Andi, no Billie, no Sam...and her heart was the most hollow thing there. She turned and slumped slowly onto the couch, the sobs that wracked her body welling up from her soul. These were no healing tears; they left her feeling hot and caved-in, and most of all, abandoned and alone.

When she felt she had no tears left to shed, she lifted herself upright with a heavy, hitching sigh. Her feet found their own way to the kitchen, her numb hands retrieved the phone and her fingers, with a mind of their own, dialed Evan's number. Stevie's voice on the other end of the line sounded breathless and anxious.

"They told us they were going this morning to do some last-minute shopping and get the car checked out for the trip. But now we can't get Evan on his cell, and no one they hang around with has seen them today. Dan's not home, either. When I went in my room, where Andi was staying, her suitcase wasn't there. I'm starting to think they must have left before everyone got up this morning, so nobody could try to stop them." Stevie explained.

Li's heart flipped in her chest, and her veins felt as if they were filled with ice water.

"Do you have any idea how long they've been gone?"

"Mom was awake at 6:30, and they had already left then."

"That means they've had at least four hours--they could be in another state by now!" She wanted to ask if they had called the police, but realized that if she sounded as if she were accusing Evan of something, she might lose their cooperation. "Do you have any idea which route they were planning to take?"

Stevie thought for a moment. "Isn't there one interstate that goes all the way to the west coast from here?"

I-40, that must be it. That was good--there would be fewer side roads to try to track them down. "40 is the only one I know of. Are they in Evan's car?"

"Yeah, he had started loading their instruments last night. God, I feel so stupid now--I should have realized what they were doing! I'm so sorry I didn't call you earlier." The girl sounded miserable.

"Stevie, you've helped more than you know. How is your mother handling all this?"

"Well, she's focused on the fact that they're going to meet up with our brother once they get out there, so I think her main concern is that they make the trip safely. I don't think she's really accepting that there might be anything else to worry about with Evan. How about you?"

"I just wish I could have seen Andi again before they took off. We left things in a pretty bad mess, and I'm so worried that she may not know I'm trying to get in touch with her."

"And you've tried her cell phone again?"

"A couple of times this morning, but I'll keep calling. I've left voice mails every time."

"If we hear from either one of them, I promise to call you."

"I really appreciate that, Stevie. I don't know how to thank you for what you've done." At this point, she was the only connection Li had to her daughter, and without her, she would have been frantic.

"It's no problem. For what it's worth, my mom and I went through some rough spots, too, but I love her a lot, and I know Andi loves you, too. You'll hear from her soon, and everything will work out okay. I'm sure of it."

"Thanks, honey. Tell your mother to call me if there's anything I can do, okay?"

The uneasy smile she had kept plastered on her face while she was talking faded as soon as she hung up the phone. She picked it up again immediately, this time dialing only three numbers.

"Hello? I'd like to report a missing child..."

*****************

Stevie brushed her long red hair, checked her makeup in the mirror, and made sure she had money for lunch. Driving toward the salon where she worked, she thought about her brother's odd behavior the last few days. She had written it off as a sibling squabble at first, but last night she had begun to notice that Andi was a little quieter than usual around him. Maybe he was just preoccupied with the trip, and had been snappy with her. But it was still unusual--Andi was normally so happy and outgoing.

As she parked her car, she noticed that the Miata that belonged to the manager was already sitting in the lot. Funny, Danielle usually didn't come in until after lunch, when things got busy.

As she pushed her way through the door, Wendy, her closest friend at the salon, looked up at her with an uncomfortable half-smile. Then she turned and hurried toward the back, mumbling something about fresh towels.

Danielle stepped out of her small office with a serious expression on her face.

"Stevie, could you step back here with me for a minute, please?" she said, with no hint of their usual friendliness.

"Sure, I'll be right there. Let me set my stuff up real quick, okay?"

"That's not necessary. Just bring it with you."

Stevie's throat tightened with fear. What was going on?

She closed the office door behind her. "Sit down, please," Danielle said. "Stevie, we have a serious problem. While Gabi was opening up this morning, a young man who said he was a friend of your brother's came to the door and said he needed to talk to me. He told her that he was very concerned about you, and that he thought there was something we needed to be aware of."

"Who was he?"

"I'm not really able to tell you that, I'm sorry. I hope you understand. At any rate, Gaby thought she needed to bring me into the conversation, so she called me at home and asked me to come by."

"So what did he tell you?"

"Just that we should...monitor you while you were working. To protect the safety of the customers. So after he left, I did some checking, and I found this--" Danielle reached into her desk drawer, and laid a ziploc bag in front of Stevie. Inside it were a small hand mirror, a short piece of drinking straw, and a smaller bag containing a white powder.

She stared blankly at the items her boss was holding. "I don't understand--I've never seen that before!"

"It was in your scissor drawer, Stevie. Your locked drawer."

"But you know me, Danielle, you know I'd never do anything like that!" She couldn't believe what she was being accused of.

"No one else had keys except me and you, and I know for certain that I didn't put it there. Now, I'm really sorry, but I think it would be best if you go ahead and clean out your equipment. I'll make sure your last check is mailed to you."

"Dani, please, I have a car payment and I'm trying to help my mom with groceries. Please don't do this. I'll...I'll take a drug test, whatever you need me to do."

"I'm sorry, but you know we have a zero tolerance policy. I can't make exceptions for anyone, even you."

Stevie's eyes began to sting with tears of indignation and rage, but she went to her station and began to gather her scissors, brushes, and other belongings. The other girls carefully avoided her, pretending to be absorbed in their work, except for Wendy. As she headed for the door, Wendy stepped in front of her and wrapped her arms around her tightly.

"I know you didn't do this, Steve-o. I don't know what's going on, but I know this wasn't you," she whispered.

"I don't get it, either, but thank you for believing in me, Wendy. You're the best friend ever. I'll call you later, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." The girl's usually perky voice sounded shaky. She kissed Stevie's cheek and turned away, sniffling.

As Stevie loaded her bag into the trunk and sank into the driver's seat, she felt stunned. Who would do this to her? She tried to think who the boy who had come to the shop could have been, and how he could have gotten the bag into her drawer.

A friend of her brother's, Danielle had said... She looked down at her key ring.

The drawer key was gone, and she had a feeling she knew who had taken it.