Please Don't Make Me Beg

Traffic was still slow; Saturday mornings, not many people were out before six am. Li drove almost on auto-pilot, her mind playing host to a riot of emotions and memories of the previous night and the incredible way things had played out. Reality seemed decidedly unreal.

The dream she'd had, the one about Billie, wouldn't go away. Only now did it truly hit her how much she wished she hadn't told him about it. But then, what did it matter? She'd never see him again anyway, so she supposed it was just as well she'd taken the risk.

Now the hard part. How would she explain to Andi what had happened--and more importantly, what hadn't? She tried to imagine herself in Andi's place, and couldn't quite see herself believing that her mother had spent the entire night on a tour bus with Billie Joe Armstrong just talking. Well, mostly just talking, anyway.

Eyes fixed on the grey ribbon of highway ahead of her, her hand dipped into her purse for her cell phone. Digging aside her brush, her wallet, checkbook, gum--where the hell was her phone? It had to be here somewhere...

Oh, shit.

The bus. Her eyes rolled at the irony of it. It was still on the table where she'd left it after Andi finally reached her around five o'clock this morning. Well, at least her daughter knew she was still alive and in one piece. Maybe Andi would go ahead to band practice, and a part of Li thought that might be a relief. At least it would give her a chance to sort out the storm of thoughts and emotions tearing through her mind before she had to explain herself.

True enough, she could say, nothing monumental had happened. Except that she could still taste his lips, still feel the tender spots on her arms where his powerful hands had gripped her, and looking in the rearview mirror--oh God, no--yes, indeedy folks, forty-four years old, and there on her neck, just below her ear, was the shadowy bruise where his mouth had found her neck, pulse beating wildly out of time, had fastened there, insistently, demanding, taking her breath away...

She shook the thoughts aside, clawing her way back to the real world like a diver surfacing. The main thing now was to focus on Andi and making sure she was okay. No matter how incredible the night had been, regardless of how unforgettable his smoldering green eyes and jet-black hair were, ignoring the kisses that had set her heart and brain on fire, she had to come back to earth.

Damn, it was going to be a long day.

Evan's car wasn't in the driveway. Though she hadn't really expected to see it still there, she relaxed a little knowing he'd followed her request. As the car slowed to a stop, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply in, then out, composing herself.

She watched her fingers guide the key into the front door lock, heard the soft click as the tumblers fell into place, smelled the familiar scents of coffee and fresh laundry. There was no music playing, a sure sign that no one was home. She sighed, relieved to have a little time to regroup b herself.

Her feet knew the way up the stairs to her bedroom without involving her brain, and as she lifted her shirt over her head to get ready to shower, she inhaled deeply. The scent of soap and clean sweat and something else, something distinctly masculine, clung to the fabric, and suddenly she was swept away, her mind spinning back to last night with nothing to distract her. Funny how familiar smells can trigger such powerful memories...

This time, she didn't push him away as he pressed her body against the car door. This time, there was no one to think of--just as he had told her in her dream, only herself and Billie, melting together, all thought nonsense now, lost in the starry green sky that was his eyes, flying, flying.

Lying across the bed, eyes closed, a joyous smile on her face, she was much too far away to hear the light footsteps that crossed the hall and paused at her door.

"Mom?"