Please Don't Make Me Beg

*Andi's POV*

Okay, there's good news and not-so-good news. I finally reached my mom about five o'clock, but it was...weird. She acted like she was in a hurry to get off the phone, and wouldn't tell me where she was--she just kept apologizing for not answering her phone and told me she'd be home soon.

I don't understand why she couldn't just tell me if she'd been out partying or something; it isn't like I'd be upset with her for having a few drinks! I mean, I'm not saying I want to see her staggering in pissed or anything, but she is an adult, after all.

She tells me it's uncanny how I always know when something's bothering her, and I've got that creepy feeling she's not okay.

Evan and the guys wanted to pick me up for band practice at seven so Dan could be at work at ten, but I couldn't focus on practice after being up all night. They were cool with postponing for today, but we need to get to work soon. Maybe we can get everybody together after dinner tonight. We've got a lot to talk about before next week--a lot of packing, too!

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She knew it was a mistake to lie down on her bed. Almost as soon as she folded her arms underneath her pillow, she fell into a shallow, restless sleep. Twice she dreamed the phone rang, and once she thought she heard the doorbell, but in her dream, she opened the door to see Tre Cool standing there dressed as a milkman, holding a rope tied around the neck of a smiling black and white cow on a surfboard.

Turning to press her cheek to a cool spot on the pillow, she heard the familiar creak of her mother's bedroom door across the hall. With a flood of relief, she lifted her tired body off the bed.

Her feet barely made a sound padding across the thick carpet, and she was grateful to see her mother stretched out across her big four-poster bed. But Li wasn't asleep. Her eyes were closed, her lips parted slightly in a blissful smile, and she breathed deeply, almost sighing.

"Mom?" Andi said softly, not wanting to startle her. But of course, she did.

"Andi, hi sweetheart! I'm so glad to see you--I thought you'd already gone. Come here and give me a hug!" Her smile was genuine as she held her arms out to her daughter. Then she looked down, realizing she was wearing a bra but no shirt, and with a sheepish look on her face, pulled bathrobe she'd laid out over her.

"It's okay, I won't look. If I did, it would burn too much!" Andi laughed, teasing.

"Oh, shut up, wise guy. Just because yours are bigger than mine doesn't give you the right to gloat. C'mon, have a seat," she said, patting the foot of the bed. Andi's long legs folded easily underneath her, taking her accustomed place where they had shared so many conversations.

She searched her mother's face for some hint of the night just past, but saw only weariness, and a mysterious Mona Lisa smile. What could she have been up to?

"So tell me about this big night you had," she said, trying to sound casual.

"Well, I did get to meet the guys, and they were as crazy as you probably thought. And I got to talk with Billie for a while over some wine--"

"Ohhh, I knew there was drinking!" Andi scolded.

"Just hush, you! We talked for a long time, and finally I fell asleep. I guess he figured I was too tired to drive, so he let me take a nap on the sofa," Li explained.

"What did you talk about? Was he nice?"

"He was...yeah, he was really sweet." She paused for a second, her eyes faraway and smoky. "And very, very handsome."

Andi's eyebrow lifted a little. There was definitely something else her mom wasn't sharing. She watched as Li lifted her hair from under the bathrobe collar and noticed what looked distinctly like a hickey on her neck. What the...?

"Mom, what the hell is that?" she said, pointing to the dark bruise. She felt a little weirded out, and the secrecy wasn't helping. It made her uneasy to think that her mother was hiding something from her, and her imagination was painting pictures that were much too clear for her liking.

The flash of guilt on Li's face just confirmed her suspicion. She felt stunned--her mother had always been a fun-loving person, but she also tried to do the right thing, to be a good example for Andi. Was it Billie she had been with? And wasn't he married? She could feel slow anger rising in her, fueled by a cocktail of betrayal and disappointment.

"Jesus, did you sleep with him?" she cried. "Did you just get drunk and decide, what the hell, I think I'll screw a rock star so I can feel like a teenager again?"

The hurt in Li's eyes was unmistakable, but she lifted her head and stared at Andi as calmly as she could, cool and silent.

"Was it worth scaring me to death? Did you even care how awful it was not being able to get in touch with you, not knowing if you were okay? And then when you did decide to answer your phone, you couldn't be bothered to spend two minutes explaining what was going on! Do you realize I stayed up all night waiting for you? What kind of mother areyou?" She was shouting now, completely unaware of the tears of anger and exhaustion streaking her face.

"You tell me, Andi. What kind of mother am I? Have I been there for you and supported you, every day of your life? Have I loved you, have I been your friend and guided you when you needed help? Have I taken care of you when you were sick, or hurt, or sad? But maybe I'm also human, did you ever consider that? And maybe you're making assumptions you have no right to make. Did you think about asking me my side of this before you just automatically assumed I was some kind of whore?"

Somehow the calm in her voice felt worse to Andi than a slap in the face.