You Don't Know A Thing About My Sins

*Gerard’s POV*

No. No. this isn’t happening. It can’t. No!

Charlie will look up any minute now and laugh telling us how funny our faces are. She has to.

She looked up, but there’s no smile. No laugh. Just teary pleading eyes.
.
“What do you mean? How did you get pregnant? How where you unfit? What made you a wreck? You’re gonna have to tell us Charlie cause we don’t get it! Do we Gee?” Frank said looking at me for support.

But I can’t give him it. Not right now.
He gave me pleading eyes.
He really needs help; this is a shock for him to.

“Explain.” I croaked out.

It’s all I could manage.

Both frank and Charlie looked shocked at my bluntness but I don’t really care right now. All I want is an explanation.

“When….when I was younger, I was a mess, I got in with the wrong crowd, I drank, did drugs….and one night….I was at a party…..someone handed me a drink…..I didn’t think anything of it…..I just drank it without a worry…..after a little while I remember feeling really funny……someone offered to help me lay down….that’s all I remember until the morning…..I was naked….fuzzy memories started to come back, I remembered sleeping with someone, but I couldn’t remember if I wanted to or not…..I didn’t say anything about it….but I knew something had…something…” she stopped to let a body racking sob out.

So she was date rapped? Is that what she’s saying?
Why didn’t she just get rid of the baby, why’d she have it and tell everyone it was her moms?!

*Open POV*

“So you….you were raped?” Frank managed to struggle out.

This was way too much information for him to even try and process.
“I’m not sure.” she sobbed into her hands “I can’t remember much of what happened, but I think I might have been, maybe, I mean when Tim was being a pervert it made me freak more then I think it should have, so I guess..”

“Why didn’t you just get rid of it?” Gerard asked his voice cold.

Frank shot him a glare but Gerard didn’t see it.

“It wasn’t that simple Gee; I couldn’t have an abortion, no matter how he was conceived he was still a little baby, a tiny life that needed me. I hated the thought of having something inside me, of being a mom, but still I couldn’t kill him, he didn’t ask for any of it to happen, he wasn’t the reason I drank the drink! He didn’t ask to be conceived!” Charlie sobbed.

“Charlie, why did you say he was you’re moms? And what made you unfit to keep Mark? I still don’t get any of this!” Frank announced.

It was true, he understood how she got pregnant and why she had him but why she was an unfit mother he didn’t understand.

Charlie let out a small sign and continued with her story.

“I didn’t give up drink, drugs, or cigarettes when I was pregnant with him, I didn’t want anyone to know about what had happened, I felt so ashamed, dirty even, like I could have stopped it happening, like I deserved to be punished for taking that drink. I didn’t want people to think I was lying so I just acted as normal, until I started to show, and I spilled it all to my mother, she stopped me from drinking and doing drugs the best she could, I told her I couldn’t have an abortion, or give it away, but I couldn’t keep it either, so Mom said that she’d would call him hers, tell everyone she adopted him, so that way I wouldn’t have to give him or my life up. So, when he was born Mom took him, and I went back to my old life. That’s what made me an unfit mother; I was scared of my own child.” She said ashamed.

Gerard, who had stood emotionless and cold through all of this sat on the edge of the bed and place a hand on Charlie’s shoulder.

Frank looked up at him and he simply gave him a small smile.

“Don’t worry Charlie, we don’t hate you,” Frank smiled at her.

The three sat in silence processing everything that had just been put out in the open.

After a while Gerard decided it was time to confess a few of his own unknown sins.