You Don't Know A Thing About My Sins

Charlie has needles and wires everywhere.

It looks horrible.

I can’t stand to see her like this……

What must Gee be feeling?

I mean for one he really, really loves Charlie and he hates needles….

I’m surprised he hasn’t freaked out yet actually….

I sat down on a chair one side of Charlie's bed and Gee sat the other side.

We each took one of her hands in our own, careful not to press any needles or pull any wires.

Gerard looked like he wanted to talk to her but didn’t know what to say I so started it off.

“Hey kiddo, I don’t know if you can hear me or not, but Gee and me came to see you. See we’re still hear and we still love you just as much if not more….you got to come back to us soon Charlie….nothings the same without you anymore babe…..and I can’t be the shortest in the group again!” I said, trying to keep a light atmosphere, for myself as much as Gerard and Charlie.

Gerard smiled at this which made me feel a bit better.

I know he hates hospitals so all this must be really daunting for him.

I still can’t believe this girl lying in front of us is Charlie.

She’s normally so strong and full of life.

But this girl looks so fragile, and I know she’s in a coma and stuff but she actually looks dead.

It’s scary…I mean really scary. Like I want to cry right here right now, but I can’t encase Charlie can hear us.

I don’t want her to be upset.

“Charlie? It’s Gerard, baby…. I know you can hear us, you’re too strong to give in to this, we know you are and you know it too. What ever made you do what you did, well, we can get through it together, so please, just come back to us, please, I know you can pull out of this coma, lying still for long periods of time isn’t you. I love you so much Charlie you can’t leave me. Not yet. Not now. We’ve still got to get married and have babies and be the weird old couple everyone tries to avoid walking near on the street. You can’t back out on that now!” I told her.

I remember that conversation.

We were discussing what we’d be like when we were all old.

I said I wouldn’t act old, I’d act like I do now…..just a bit slower and less agile.

And Gerard and Charlie said they’d be this strange old couple that people would purposely cross the street just to avoid.
I could see her face in my mind, laughing at the comments and pulling a “creepy old woman” face.

“I’m sorry to interrupt you but you need to leave now sirs,” a nurse said poking her head round the door.
“but we just got here!” Gerard protested.
“I know and I am so sorry, but our visiting hours are very strict on this floor.”

“Right little sister, I demand you squeeze mine and Gerard’s hands before we go or we’ll just have to refuse to do something cool with you when you wake up!” I said not setting my hopes too high, just testing.

“Frank! Did you feel that?!” Gerard asked a mix of shock and happiness.

“Yeah….” I muttered.

She did it, it was only tiny, but I felt the smallest amount of pressure being applied to my hand.

“Well done babe, really. Now all you need to do is wake up before Christmas and you can open our kick ass presents.” I told her.

“Yeah you’d better wake up or I’ll like, put you on cuddle probation!” Gerard giggled.

“Pssh well done gee take away the thing she loves the most!” I giggled at him “But really Charlie, well done you! We knew you’d pull through, just keep trying yeah? You never know, you might be able to greet us tomorrow. Bye babe...” I said carefully hugging her and placing a kiss on her forehead before waiting outside for Gerard.

She’s going to be ok….she has to be…..right?