My Bi-Bi-Curiousity Is Killing Me

Dear Diary,

Today was just, like, the worst. Sissy can't get his hair to flip and I can't get any more action from Mr Football other than being flipped off. I swear, this isn't even an existance. It's just a diary entry.

God! . . . By the way, Jesus, if you exist, can you please just buy me a new best friend? And tickets to see I Would Set Myself On Fire For You. I swear, those guys would so get me -

A One Shot Diary Entry for the last of the truly lost boys. Dry, amusing, brief and entirely self-involved.

Please note - any excessive uses of certain words are there for effect, any odd spellings are that way because the Lost Boy chooses not to conform to the Oxford Dictionary and that he is entirely selfish, masochistic and selfinvolved.

No offence intended to anyone. (I'm looking to offend everyone. Ha ha! Just kidding.)