Old School Love

I woke up and I felt happy. That was all a dream. He wasn’t gone he was still with me. I smiled that is until I seen Jay sitting at the edge of my bed right in my view. He had his head in his hands and it dawned on me.
“It happened,” I whispered so quietly. He looked up from his hands.
“Yea M it did. He’s gone” His voice was etched with so much pain. I felt numb. The love of my life was gone. He left me. I couldn’t believe Bradley had done that to him. Jay was going to take the fall. I hate to say it but I wish he had. That sounds so selfish I know but Joker held such a huge part of me. I loved him deeply and life was going to be hard going on without him. He had become such a huge part of my life. I could only imagine how Jay felt. I snapped out of my thoughts and I watched his body shake. I stood up and I went and hugged him. He grabbed me and squeezed me into a bear hug. I couldn’t breathe but I didn’t mind. He was crying his eyes out.
“M, he was my best friend and he was my world too; wait that sounded gay but I don’t know how I’m going to go on without him. Joker was the only one that I counted on. I don’t trust people easily because of how much I have been hurt.” I nodded and tears fell down my cheek.
“This is going to be hard as hell going on without him. He and I may not have had the bond you guys had but we loved each other. I don’t know if I can do this.” I looked down at my hand and turned them over. I loved Joker and he loved me. I’m pretty sure we would have ended up together forever. That thought made my eyes water up more and I lost it. I started hyperventilating. I couldn’t breathe. I came close to passing out I swear I was seeing stars. Jay handed me a paper bag. I started breathing into it and I finally gained my breath back. He reached out and hugged me.
“M this is hard but we gots ta do it ya no he wouldn’t want us mopin round he’d want us drinkin n celbratin his life.” I smiled then it turned to a frown.
“I don’t drink though.” He chuckled. It was the closest thing I’ve seen to him being happy since this all happened. I lay back on my bed.
“Come on you big fruit snuggle with me.” He laughed and wrapped his arms around me. It wasn’t anything like Joker’s but I was trying to make us both ok. I was falling apart on the inside but I didn’t know what to do but to comfort him. I needed to call Eve. She needed to know what happened. I just couldn’t work up to calling her just yet. I felt like I was choking. I couldn’t think about it. Slowly I started to drift off with thoughts of Joker filling my head.

Jay’s point of view.

This was hard as hell on me; my best friend, my one true home dawg was gone. The one person I know had my back was no longer around. I looked at M and watched her fall apart. She was trying not to I could tell but him leaving knocked down all her guards as it did mine. Did I ever think I would be cuddling with the girl I despise? Hell naw but right now as sad as it is we are all each other gots. I could tell he really loved her that’s why I wish it was me. This should be him holding her. Besides I don’t have any one to miss me the way she misses him. I will never feel a love like that but that’s my own fault. I push people away from me but so did Joker. What the hell am I gonna do without my best friend? I hope I can get over this. I mean damn why did you leave me like this Joker? I needed you. I loved you in a total non gay way you’re my best friend a brother to me. Now you’re gone, what about the gang? What about everything you worked for? So many people respected you and now you’re gone. Fuck why did you leave me?