Old School Love

I looked over at Jay. His expression mirrored mine. Should I knock? I was scared in a way. Was she okay? I motioned for Jay to walk back to the car. He cocked an eyebrow. I pointed to the car again. He rolled his eyes and walked to the car. He pissed me off so badly sometimes. I waited until he was in the driver’s seat and then I slowly knocked. I heard my heart beating in my chest. I am not usually this nervous. Why was I now? I knew that answer. For once since my dad died I was actually worried about some one other than myself. I actually had feelings. I could happy dance right now but this wasn’t the time. Eve finally came to the door. She was shaking.
“Hey M what’s up?” I noticed the way she was standing. She was leaned up against the door frame. What was she hiding now? I sighed quietly and looked at her again.
“I wanted to know if you wanted to come over.” She stood there for a second then shook her head. Now I was curious. Eve always wanted to come over. She was a pestering little fucker. Now she was quiet. This wasn’t her. I would find out. I just wasn’t sure how. I just nodded.
“Alright well then I’ll catch you later.” She nodded and shut the door. I walked back to the car at a slow pace. It was almost as slow as Gorilla’s. What had happened? Was she hurt? I slid into the passenger seat. I didn’t feel like arguing right now so I just let him drive. He pulled out of the driveway staring straight ahead. We stopped at a red light and he turned to look at me.
“So what happened?” I shrugged. I was still trying to understand it.
“She didn’t say anything. All she told me was that she didn’t want to come over and then I left.” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. I wondered if this is bothering him too. He didn’t respond. He just kept driving. I looked out the window. So much had changed for me since I moved to Mooresville. So much has happened. I smiled Joker had happened to me. Even though Joker was gone I would never forget him. I think I loved him. I had experienced love now. I was happy for the experience though I still wish he was here. I miss him so much. He showed me it was okay to take chances no matter how big the risk. That was the way he lived his life. Right up to the day he died. I felt my eyes water up. No I was not going to cry I was happy I met him. That was how I was going to think about it. I switched my thoughts so I wouldn’t get upset any more. I now had a best friend. Sure she was a walking mental case but she was still my friend. I know Eve cares about me. Hell she’s one of the only people who ever have. Our first meeting was crazy though. I laughed. There was no doubt about it she was crazy but I wouldn’t change her for the world. Gorilla came into my life. Now him I would be okay with leaving behind. I froze. What happened if we moved again? I would lose them all. Eve and Joker would hurt me to leave behind. I had to stop thinking he is still alive and breathing. Margaret he is gone. I shuddered but I realized I may even miss Gorilla. They were all such a huge part of my life. They all changed the unchangeable. I couldn’t see leaving them behind like that. None of them; not even that crazy freak next to me. He was a mental case too. He was a lot like me. I scoffed. As if he could be this great though. I looked over at him and he was still staring straight ahead. His eyes held a look I don’t think I have seen in them before. Ha-ha I knew a way to lighten the mood.
“Gorilla likes her. He wants to date her. He wants to fuck her.” His eyes swung to look at me. I laughed. His expression was that of a mental patient. I started to laugh harder. This was too great. I finally had a weak spot to torture him. Ha-ha this was way too good to be true.
“How many timez I gotsta tellz ya I aint like her. Tho I wouldn’t mind fuckin ole girlz brainz out.” I rolled my eyes. What a load of shit.
“Mhmm you stay in denial mister. You know you like Eve. Oh wait I forgot ‘Spike’ likes Eve.” He gripped the steering wheel harder. “Damn man I bet they would make a cute couple don’t you think Jay?” He didn’t answer me but I was pretty sure there were going to be indentions from his fingers in the steering wheel cover. Joker wouldn’t be happy about that. Margaret Joker wouldn’t care because Joker is gone. I had to come to terms that he wasn’t coming back. He was never coming back. It was hard because he changed me more than the others. He was a big part of me and now that part feels empty. It always will be empty. I know that now. I looked down at the floorboard. Picking on Jay had lost its fun now. Every thing I seemed to do brought Joker to my mind. When every Jay smiled I thought of Joker’s smirk. When ever he stretched I thought of Joker’s body. When ever I ran my hands through my hair I always thought about Joker running his hands through my hair or when he would run those huge hands through his own hair. I was lost without him around. It was hard to keep on this front that every thing was okay. For me it was never going to be okay because he’s not around. I felt us stop and I looked over at Jay. He was still sitting behind the wheel not even moving yet. I looked out of my window and I saw that we were outside of my house. I guess I had no choice but to get out as much as I really didn’t want to. Dammit Eve my day was actually okay until we went to your house. Now its back to being sad and dreary. I slammed the car door alerting Jay I had left the car. He hit the steering wheel then got out.
I walked into the house he was slowly following me. Why was he so upset for? I shrugged. At the moment I really didn’t care. I made sure to be quiet because I had no idea where my mom was or if she was even home. I was back to feeling pretty numb. I mean at least I was here. I could talk now. Before I couldn’t even think straight so I was improving. After a short walk that seemed to take forever I got to my room. Jay pushed me into the wall and smirked.
“Damn gurl u iz alwayz up in da way.” I rolled my eyes.
“You’re such an asshole Jay.” He turned around to face me.
“Hey at least ya memba mi name now.” I shook my head and motioned towards the door. He shook his head and turned back around and sung open the door. He drug his feet across the floor just to aggravate me. I lifted up my foot and kicked him in the ass and he walked in laughing and holding his ass. Then all of a sudden he just stopped. My eyes were on him. He took his hands off of his ass and stood there. He looked terrified. His eyes looked like they were about to jump out of his head. I turned to look where he was and I put my hand over my mouth. I had to be seeing things. I couldn’t be though because Jay was seeing the same thing. Joker was standing in the corner of my room. Jay put his hands in a praying form.
“God I’m so sorry for everything I have ever done man. Just please don’t kill me now. I promise I will be good. I won’t do no more dope. I won’t sell no more shit neitha. I mean stuff my lord. God I won’t even check out M’s ass no more. I’ll be good I promise.” I was in shock. Joker was standing there. He hadn’t even moved from his spot since we came in. He was dead how could he be standing in my room.
“Jay if he’s dead how is he here?” I finally found my voice. Jay was scared shitless. Any other time this would have been hilarious but being that I was scared too it wasn’t so funny.
“God sent his spirit down to show us the error of our ways.” I scoffed.
“More like your ways not mine.” He glared at me. I held in a laugh.
I looked back at Joker and he took a step towards us and Jay dropped to his knees and started praying out loud. He had tears rolling down his face. This was priceless.
“God I will even give up the girls just let me live.” Jay broke down and was crying. I didn’t care if I was dying or not at least I would be with Joker. But he looked way too real. There was no way he was a spirit. He was walking slowly towards us and Jay was crying harder with every step he took. I lost my breath. There was no way he was here. I had to be dreaming. Joker was dead but he was standing in front of me in the flesh. He was breathing and he smelled just like he always did. He hadn’t said one word yet though. What the hell was happening? He looked at me and smirked. I couldn’t smile back I was truly scared about what was happening. He looked down at Jay and motioned for him to stand up. Jay jumped to his feet and bowed his head. Joker smirked again then lifted his head with his right hand. Jay was shaking. Joker made him look him dead in the eyes. He still hadn’t said a single word. He put his hand on Jay’s sweaty forehead. He sucked in a breath and Jay was shaking under his touch. I was shaking and he wasn’t touching me. God what the fuck was happening?
“THE POWER OF JOKER COMPELS YOU!!” He yelled. Jay jumped and smacked Joker’s hand from his forehead. Jay’s terrified expression was gone. It was replaced by one of joy and happiness.
“You motherfucking asshole!” They embraced. This was all too much. I couldn’t do this. No Joker was dead not standing in front of me. They both looked at me eyes full of concern. I felt my world start to spin. That was all I remember before my vision went black.