Old School Love

I smiled and snuggled deep into the arms that were wrapped around me. At the moment they could belong to Gorilla and I wouldn’t care. I just wanted to feel safe. Last night was just a dream. Joker died and left me. I had to come to terms with that and move on. My love had left though not by choice. He died protecting me. I sighed. Gorilla was warmer than usual this morning. I smiled. He could be a good guy when he wanted to be. He must have known I was having a dream about Joker again. I think I am going to start easing up on him. I smirked and shook my head…Nah. I smiled and opened my eyes and jumped back and hit the wall. Joker sat up and smirked at me. I pushed my hair behind my ears. I hadn’t dreamed it. Joker was alive but how had he survived? I watched the bullet hit him. I saw the ambulance drive away with him inside. Hell we called the hospital and they said he had passed on. He had some serious explaining to do. Had he died and this was a family member? No Joker and his family don’t get along so that’s not it. I got it! This was Gorilla’s way of getting back at me for being such a bitch to him every time I seen him. Hell we didn’t get along since the very first time I seen him. I chucked a skateboard at his head. I laughed, good times. My smile disappeared when I seen Joker staring at me with a raised eyebrow. My hand moved out at its own will. It came in contact with his cheek and I felt how smooth it was and also how warm it still is. Maybe I dreamed him being dead. I had to have because there is no logical explanation for why he is sitting in front of me. He sat up and sighed. His next movement made my body rebel against my head. He opened up his arms and I immediately went into them. I needed his touch. My head told me this might not even be him but I didn’t care. He kissed the top of my head and rocked me a bit. This was so surreal. This guy that may not even be the love of my life was holding me. My head mimicked me for a second. If it’s not Joker it would have to be his son because it looks like it was cut out of his ass. I rolled my eyes. Thanks for being useful brain. The one time I need you, you decide to be sarcastic. He stopped rocking me and looked down at me with those deep blue eyes of his. I remembered how Joker’s gaze used to melt away all of my thoughts. These eyes made me curious as to what he was thinking. His hair was shorter now than I remembered it. Not too short though. He was wearing a black wife beater and some baggy jeans. He looked so stressed.
“Margaret,” every stress of mine just melted away. Joker was alive. He was breathing.
“Joker?” He nodded. I felt the tears start to flow over. This week had been hell and it was all for nothing? He was alive. He hurt me and Gorilla beyond repair. Hell even Eve cried. Then again she thinks he was perfect so she will probably be on his side about this. I don’t know why she stuck up for him all the time but it was kind of annoying. I mean hello she’s my best friend yet no matter what happens between Joker and me she always found a positive on his side. You can only imagine how annoying that was.
“Margaret I need to explain. Promise me you won’t interrupt until I am done.” I sighed and nodded. I really needed to hear that explanation. It was eating my insides knowing he’s been alive this whole time. Had he explained to Gorilla yet? If so what did he think of all of this? Speaking of which where is that fruit cup? I shook my head. It wasn’t important right now. I had bigger problems to solve. A helluva lot sexier problems too. Hey there’s one positive to Joker lying about being dead. Jay would no longer cuddle my feet. I almost did my happy dance right there until I realized how weird I would look.
“Ok M, this is the truth. I did get shot that wasn’t a lie. I thought I was going to die that is until I got into the ambulance. They had stopped the bleeding. I knew I was going to make it. That’s when I realized I needed to turn my life around. I had the police after me and ya didn’t deserve to be in a relationship with a guy that can only write ya letters from behind bars. I took this as the perfect opportunity. Critter has always followed my rule. I wanted to see if he could take my place when the time was right. I wanted to see if ya two would be okay without me. I wasn’t sure how much ya loved me. This proved a hell of a lot to me. I know that when I step away from this gang shit Critter will be okay to handle shit. Ya gots no idea how hard it was watching ya struggle through all of this but I wanted to make sure the feds were off my back before I could come home to ya. I love ya M more than anything. So I want ya to know I’m giving up all this shit for ya. The dealing, the gang, all of it because all I want is ya.” I looked down. I didn’t know whether to smack the hell out of him or attack him with kisses. The second option was looking pretty good about now.
“So you saw everything that happened when you were gone?” He nodded.
“I don’t know if I seen everything but I seen a lot.” I nodded. Had he seen what happened with my mom? Did he know about Jay’s “secret” thing for Eve? What about Jay and I cuddling? How much did he know?
“Well did you tell the hospital to lie for you?” He sighed and nodded.
“I wanted ya two to be convinced I was gone. If not ya wouldn’t believe it had the hospital not told yall that.” I shake my head and laughed.
“That’s not true. According to Eve her story book is not over so there’s no way you are dead.” He smirked. Eve told me once before that Joker and I were better than any love story she had ever read. So now when she refers to us she wants to know if there are any new chapters in her book she’s reading. I laughed. Though I am quite wondering when her own book would be started.
“Leave it ta her rite?” I smirk and nod. Only Eve. He leaned in so he was inches away from my face. “Ya forgive me?” I put my finger on my chin and pretended to be in thought. Should I let him beg for forgiveness or just give it to him? I played it off for a minute then I got closer to him. His lips were almost touching mine. Then as if he was paid to make my life hell Gorilla runs through the door.
“Y'all iz havin a party without me?” I rolled my eyes.
“No Spike we're having a party without Jay.” Jay scoffed.
“How many timez I gotsta tell ya mi namez Jay not Spike.” I shake my head.
“Sorry Spike but until Eve knows your name you are Spike.” Joker laughed.
“Joker get yo gurl man. She b hatin up on mi game in shit.” Joker laughed harder.
“Sorry dawg dats yo drama not mines.” Jay just waved him off.
“Wat a friend ya are.” I interjected Joker’s next comment.
“Hey at least we aren’t lying about who we are to cover up all the “non-gangster” things we are feeling.” He rolled his eyes.
“Foget y'all man.” I started to laugh.
“Aw Spike you know we love you.” Jay got mad and left the room. It was so easy to get to him sometimes I loved it. Joker smirked.
“Now I do believe ya owe me a kiss.” I smiled and leaned in but pulled away when he got closer.
“Only if you promise me your cookies.” He smirked.
“Shawty ya gotz mi cookies fo life.” That was all I needed to hear. He leaned in and kissed me and things seemed to be back the way they should be. I couldn’t wait to tell Eve.