10 More Minutes With You

Chapter 23
Jessica’s POV

We decided to take away the horribleness of Mondays by doing something fun at the Way’s house, so after school we all pilled into the car. Frank was being strangely quiet. At first I thought I was the only one who noticed his strange behavior, but when we were a few minutes away from the Way’s house, Mikey twisted in his seat up front to look at Frank and I. Mikey and I exchanged confused glances, then Mikey twisted more so he was looking directly at Frank, who was staring out the window.

“Is everything okay Frank?” Mikey asked. Frank jumped slightly, then turned and attempted a smile. I knew right away that it was completely fake.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired from school and shit, ya know?” he replied, careful not to look at anyone. Frank was a horrible liar. Frank immediately focused his attention out the window again. Mikey shrugged at me, and turned towards Frank. I put my hand on his arm, and pressed slightly, getting his attention. He looked at me with cold, empty eyes, then turned back towards the window, moving away from me. I dropped my hand and slid towards my door, pressing my face up against the cold window.

Internally, I started to panic. What happened with him? He’s never acted that way. He didn’t want me near him. Did I do something? Did something happen at school? There were a million possibilities as to why he was acting strange, but I couldn’t get the thought out of my head that maybe he was sick of me.

Frank got out of the car as soon as we arrived at the house. He almost sprinted up the steps.

“What’s with him?” Gerard asked, staring at the door that Frank had just slammed shut behind him.

“No idea.” Mikey replied, watching me carefully. I was hardly listening to the conversation, I was too lost in my horrible, pessimistic thoughts.

“Jess?” Gerard asked in a worried, big brother tone. He gave me a big hug and led me into the house, after Mikey said he would go up and talk to Frank. Gerard got us each a shot of vodka, and we downed them, then sat on the couch in silence. Frank was talking with Mikey in his room. The house was completely silent for several minutes, while Gerard and I sat on the couch, his arms cradling me, both of us worried for what was happening in the other room.

After about 10 or 15 minutes, we heard shouting.

“YOU CAN’T JUST FUCKING DO THAT!” We heard Mikey shout. “DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE’S BEEN THROUGH?” My heart dropped and I felt like I was going to throw up. She. They were talking about me.

“Watch me!” We heard Frank yell back, the heard him stomping down the hallway. “Jess.” He said, standing directly in front of me. I stood up tentatively. He walked out the front door, and I followed slowly behind him.

“Jess, we gotta end this. Us. There can’t be an us anymore.” He said, his face completely calm, unaffected by the words he just said. My legs felt like jello and I struggled to stay standing.

“Wh-what?” I managed to croak.

“We’re over.” He said, the serious expression still on his face. Suddenly, his face got soft. “I’m sorry. I really am.” He touched my arm lightly before walking off in the direction of his house.

I stood in the yard for what felt like a lifetime until Gerard and Mikey came out and led me back to the couch. I sat for a minute or so before I realized I couldn’t deal with this. I grabbed a shot glass and a bottle of vodka and gin, and drank several shots. The room spun around me. There’s that damn spinning again. I thought as I downed more and more alcohol. I knew I had had at least 10 shots, but I still kept drinking. I drank more then I ever had before.

Piss drunk, sitting on the couch, I told Gerard and Mikey what Frank said. It didn’t seem real. I felt like I was in a movie, but I just happened to be inside some characters body.

“I’m such a fuck up.” I felt myself say, anguish in my voice. “I fucked it up. I fuck everything up. I’m so fucked.” I cried as they held me and tried to convince me otherwise. The room started spinning faster and faster.

Frank and I were kissing, his lips lustfully caressing mine. I felt so happy I felt like I could fly. I knew at that moment that even though I’ve only known him a few months, I love him more then I could ever love anyone.

“I love you.” I breathed in between kisses. His lips stopped moving and he slowly pulled away from me. He looked at me somberly, and spoke.

“You’re the biggest fuck up I’ve ever met. How could I ever love you?” And with that he got up and left, leaving me laying in bed, shocked.

I woke up with a jump and immediately started sobbing. Mikey’s figure next to me stirred and soon he had wrapped his arms around me. He rubbed my back soothingly, but that only made me cry harder. I believed every word that DreamFrank had said. He was right. I was only just another girl, a fuck up. Why should he care about me? Why should anyone?