Underneath It All

The last thing I wanted to do was to play host. I wasn’t as excited of this party like my parents were. Kevin showed mild interest, but he was nowhere to be found; most likely occupying a couch at the local Starbucks. Joe showed some interest into playing host since he was eyeballing every girl that came into the room. Unfortunate for Joe, there were only five girls that range between 16 and 25. Knowing Joe, I knew five girls was nowhere near enough.

Now instantly feeling bad for Joe would be something to consider, but that was until I noticed him locking lips with a girl. Typical Joe. Most likely Joe just met her and instantly she was under his spell. I sometimes wish I could be as outgoing around girls like Joe was. I continued to stare at the way Joe kept his hands cupped around this girl’s face.

At that second I wished I had someone to be lip locking with. I would give anything just to be with anyone, even if it isn’t with the girl I would love to be with. I was about to walk away when Joe and this secret girl pulled away from each other. Still, I couldn’t see a face, but she had really nice, long, wavy black hair. Her warm skin looked silky and smooth, and I wanted to run his fingers up and down her arm even if she didn’t have a pretty face. She’d obviously been out in the sun a lot, or she naturally had that tanned colored skin.

I still wanted to see a face, but currently Joe had his forehead pressed against hers, not allowing me even the smallest glimpse. I surveyed this girl in front of Joe. Her strapless blue dress hugged against her body, but it didn’t even make her look like a tramp. She must have been beautiful to pull off a dress like that. I didn’t care that she had already kissed Joe in front of almost the entire neighborhood; I wanted to at least meet this unknown girl.

It seemed that Joe had said something to this girl that she didn’t like. She said her farewell to Joe and dashed out of the house, trailing behind her was that guard I had met a few days prior. Maybe this was my chance. Maybe once and for all I could forget about Lilly and meet this girl that just ran out of his house.

I didn’t want to make it seem obvious that I was following, so I slowed my pace down. When I reached the front door, I noticed Kevin standing there with a huge coffee stain on his shirt. Kevin muttered a few obscenities while I tried to calm him down and catch up to this mysterious girl. At last, I saw the girl and Kyle embracing each other. The sight of these two was confusing me greatly. Did she like Joe? Or was she with Kyle? Did I even have a chance to maybe possibly be with her?

It seemed like I was finally going to see this girl’s face when Kyle went onto his knee and started taking off her shoes. She had a small grin on her face while she looked down at Kyle in what looked like admiration. She finally tilted her head up, looking me straight in the eye. For a second, I thought I forgot how to breathe. My voice was caught in my throat and my lungs filled up with what little air I had taken my last breath.

“Lilly?” I asked. My voice cracked when I spoke her name. I couldn’t recall the last time I even uttered her name. Kyle muttered something while Lilly stared at me. I couldn’t tell if it was an angry stare or shocked, she just stared. I moved closer and Lilly tensed up.

“Lilly?” I repeated. “Why?”

“Why what?” she asked. Kyle finally stood up and covered Lilly from my view.

“Oh what’s up Nate?” he asked.

“Why did you kiss Joe?” I asked. “Why are you even here?” I wasn’t sure whether I was more infuriated that she kissed my brother or the fact that here she was right in front of me and she didn’t seem like she even cared. She looked as if she wanted to run away and never see me again.

“You kissed Joe?” Kyle said. He put his hand over his mouth.

“I’m glad to see you moved on,” I said staring glaring at Kyle. “Thanks for being true to your word.”

“What word?” she asked. “I promised you nothing. I only kissed Joe for you. I want you to be happy Nick. I want you to forget I ever existed because I’m just going to drag you down with me.”

“I was happy with you,” I said. “I-I still love you. And I’ll f-forget about everything if you are willing to work it out again.” I looked her in her straight in her eyes. “Tell me you love me again, and all will be forgotten.”

She stood there not saying a word. Each second that passed was painful. I wondered if she would even admit it, but I was afraid she wouldn’t and what would I do with my life? Here she was standing right there and I couldn’t even touch her. What if my constant nightmare was true? What if she really did love Joe more than she loved me? Was I just a decoy so she could get closer to Joe? Joe wouldn’t allow that…would he?

“You don’t love me Nicholas,” she finally replied. “You never did. Just please, go back to your house and pretend you never met me.” I looked at her as my eyes started to water. I tried to not cry in front of her but a soft sob escaped from me. At that moment, she ran away from me, from it all. All we ever had. She was throwing away my future in which I thought she would be there with me. I couldn’t let this guy I barely knew see me cry, so I turned away from him. I shoved my hands into my pockets and walked back home. It didn’t even feel like home, it just felt like I was living in someone else’s house. This wasn’t my life, especially since I had just been blown off by the one girl I trusted, cared for and the girl that I thought at least had the decency not to lie to my face.

I kicked a rock all the way home, and when I finally got there, I continued to stay outside sitting on the porch. I was in no mood to be around a house full of happy people when I was currently feeling miserable. I didn’t even want to be here right now. I actually wanted to talk to Lilly, but I knew she wouldn’t allow it. Knowing her, she’s probably bottling up her feelings or locking herself in her room.

“Hey Nicky!” I felt someone sit next to him and when I didn’t reply, they waved their hand in my face. “What’s up? What are you doing, huh? Why are you out here?”

“Just leave me alone,” I snapped. The last person I wanted to see was Joe and he probably sensed I was in no mood for him, but he continued to sit next to me.

“Okay,” Joe said quietly. “I can sense great anger in your voice.”

Great anger?

“Hm,” I said as I stared at the house across the way.

“Don’t you want to come inside?” Joe asked. I pressed my lips together to prevent myself from a sudden outburst. I couldn’t yell at Joe just yet, not with all those people inside. They would probably think I’m psycho and our family would have a bad reputation and we’ve barely been here a week.

“Not really,” I said quietly. “Can you just leave?” Joe sighed as he stood up and looked down at me.

“Okay, fine,” Joe said. “But I’m going to eventually find out what’s bothering you.” Like I was going to tell Joe I saw him making out with my girlfriend; or ex-girlfriend if he wanted to go into specifics. That was that last conversation I wanted to have with my brother. I wouldn’t even know how to start something like that.

There was light footsteps running towards the porch from the inside of the house and Joe turned to look to see who was coming. A little girl and Frankie ran past us and stood in front of me.

“Hi!”

“Hey, what’s up?” Joe said. Joe went on his knees in front of me to face a little girl. “I’m Joe.”

“I know,” she said. She giggled slightly as Joe went to hug her. “You’re cute.” She hid her face in her hands as Joe backed away and continued to smile at her.

“Thanks,” Joe said extra cockily, “You’re adorable. What’s your name?”

“Alana,” she said. “I live there!” She pointed to her house across the street. “Hi!” She was now looking at me while I stared past her at the house she lived in.

“Hi,” I said with less enthusiasm than her and Joe combined.

“You’re Nicky,” she said, still with a smile on her face.

“Yeah.”

“You dated my babysitter,” she blurted out. “I think she still likes you lots.” I finally looked at this girl in the eyes when she said the word ‘dated’.

“Who’s your babysitter?” I asked curiously.

“Silly Lilly,” she said. “Isn’t she pretty? I like her lots too.” Joe cleared his throat loudly and went to pick up the girl who started giggling uncontrollably.

“Silly Lilly is such a weird name,” Joe said. “Know what’s an even better name? Alana Banana!” Alana, Joe and Frankie all laughed. I stood up and looked at Alana.

“Where does your babysitter live?” I asked.

“Hey, who wants some cake?” Joe said putting Alana back on her feet. She and Frankie both jumped up and down while Joe laughed. “Okay, let’s go get some! Last one in gets the smallest piece!” The two kids and Joe all started running in the house. I grabbed Joe’s arm and pulled him back.

“What’s with you?” I asked. “I wanted to hear about this babysitter.”

“Why worry about it?” Joe asked nervously. He looked down at his feet and around, but not in my eyes directly. “It’s not your Lilly though, I doubt it. Who knows where she’s at?”

“How would you know?” I asked. Joe shrugged his shoulders and looked at the front door that was open. “Why don’t you just tell me the truth Joe?”

“What truth?” Joe asked. “What are you talking about?”

“I saw you,” I said. Joe bit down on his lip and crossed his arms.

“Oh?” he asked.

“What’d you do that for?” I asked. “You know that I still care about her, and you did that. Plus you didn’t even have the decency to tell me you saw her, you kept that to yourself.”

“She kissed me back,” Joe said. “A-and you two aren’t together anymore, so why do you still care about her? She left Nick; just stop living in the past. You always do that with all your past girlfriends. When are you going to stop falling hard for each girl you meet?”

“She’s different,” I retorted. “I never loved any other girl like I love her.” Joe continued to bite down on his lip while he switched his crossed arms to placing his hands in his back pockets. “And I know she loves me back.”

“How do you know that?” Joe asked.

“I just do,” I shot back. “And I’m going to make her change her mind, no matter what it takes.”