Underneath It All

Everything seemed to be in slow motion right after Lilly asked her question. First we were all in her garage, and now I find myself sitting on her couch with Frankie in between us. We were watching the corniest movie ever, No Reservations.

I couldn’t even remember who wanted to watch this movie because I looked over and saw Frankie out like a light on Lilly’s lap. She was staring at the television but didn’t seem too into the movie.

“Aw, that’s so cute,” Maggie gushed. I turned my head to my left and saw Maggie sitting on the loveseat by herself with her eyes glued to the television. She’s the one who picked the movie and made us all sit there and watch. Now I remember.

“Is this almost over?” Lilly asked. She shut her eyes and let her head roll back. “I prefer the original.”

“There’s an original?” Maggie questioned. She still kept watching the movie but kept switching her eyes back and forth from Lilly to the movie.

“Yes,” she replied. She ran her fingers through Frankie’s hair and smiled. “It was something about Martha.” She shrugged her shoulders. “It was cooler. Remakes are retarded.”

“Go see what your grandfather is doing then,” Maggie said waving her hand at Lilly.

“He’s probably fixing a light bulb,” Lilly grumbled. She bit her lip as she continued looking down at Frankie. She finally looked over at me and spoke. “Is he a light sleeper? I’ll feel bad if I woke him up. He looks peaceful.”

“It’s okay if you wake him up,” I said. “We should probably go home now. I could come back later,” I stated more than asked. “Is seven okay?”

“How about tomorrow?” Lilly suggested. “I was going over to Kyle’s house for a bit. He just bought this new apartment and I have to help get rid of the dead rats.”

I furrowed my eyes brows and stared at her as if she was crazy. Who would volunteer to clean out dead rats?

“I’m kidding about the rat part,” she said. “Calm down Nick. I’m not that stupid. He can do that himself.”

“Where does he live?” I questioned but I wanted to take it back right away. It wasn’t any of my business to begin with.

“You know those apartment buildings by that huge supermarket?” she asked. “Somewhere around there. So it’s only about ten minutes from here.”

“Oh, that’s cool then,” I said. “See you later then?”

“You don’t have to leave now,” Lilly stated. “Stay a while. You never even saw how clean my room is.”

“Was that an invitation?” I asked.

“Uh, sure,” she said. “You can go up yourself if you want.” She pointed down to Frankie who was still asleep. “It looks like I won’t be joining you anytime soon.” I laughed as I stood up and started walking.

“Where’s your room?” I asked realizing I had no clue where Lilly’s room was located.

“Up the stairs, and it is first door on your right,” she said. “It’s across from the bathroom if you get lost.”

I followed Lilly’s directions and found myself in front of a closed door. I wondered if I should open it. What if I got the directions wrong and Lilly’s grandfather was in here? Or what if she gave me the wrong room on purpose? I slowly turned the door to revel a girlish, plain room.

It was a nice peach colored room with a queen sized bed, a dresser and a desk where a laptop was sitting out. I walked in and started analyzing the room. Atop her dresser were two picture frames. One of them was the same picture of her and Johnny and the other was a picture of Lilly and her grandfather.

I thought it was cute. I was about to pick up one the frames to look at it closer when something caught my eye. I probably shouldn’t be in here for this long, but since it already caught my eye my hand went to pick up something small and silver.

I realized it was my ring that I gave Lilly a while ago. I greatly missed this ring but I couldn’t ask for it back when she left. It was a piece of me that I hoped would change her mind and she would somehow come back. I wondered if I should take it back or not.

I never did give her back her chain with the ring her father gave her years ago. So it wasn’t fair for me to take my ring back. I bought a new one anyways and she obviously kept my old one.

“You can take that if you want,” Lilly said, startling me as I turned to look back at the doorway. “I should have gave you that a while back.” I put the ring back where I found it and smiled.

“I still have your ring though,” I said. “Unless you want that back.”

“No thanks,” she said. “Keep it. Are you sure you don’t want yours back though?”

“Even though I loved that ring,” I replied, “It did look better on you.” I showed her my left hand. “I bought a new one anyways, so I don’t really need another ring.”

“Not kicking you out or anything, but Kyle’s being a whore,” Lilly said. “He’s already here. Mags wants you and Frank to stay for dinner though. You can call the rest of your family too. She made too much food and with me gone, there’s going to be nobody to eat.”

“That’s nice of her,” I said smiling, “But I don’t want to--”

“Don’t say you don’t want to impose Nick,” Lilly replied as she dug in her drawer for something and quickly closed it. “Invite your family over, but tell them I apologize for not being here.”

“Do you have any idea when you’re coming home?” I asked. She shrugged her shoulders as she began digging in another drawer.

“Ten, eleven,” she replied. “I’m just going to be sitting around his house while he puts stuff away. I’d invite you but he’s-”

“He doesn’t want me there?”

“No!” Lilly shouted. “That’s not it. He’s too stoned to not like anybody. He brought his friend’s motorcycle, so there’s no room for you.”

“He’s driving you in a motorcycle?” I questioned. “Is that even safe?”

“Doesn’t your brother have one?” she asked. I shook my head and she frowned. “No? Your dad has one then, right?”

“No, Lilly. I don’t know anybody that owns a motorcycle,” I said.

“Oh. Now you do! Well, bye Nicholas. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said as she started walking towards the door. She finally stopped and smacked her forehead. “Crap, I forgot, I’m watching Alana tomorrow. Want to bring Frankie over or something?”

“I’ll ask him,” I said even though I knew what his answer would be. “Can you please call me or something when you get home?”

“Okay, I promise to call but I don’t know your number,” she said. “We always used to text each other so it slipped my mind.”

“Do you have a piece of paper handy?” I asked. Lilly nodded as she went through her drawer again and found a piece of paper and a pen.

“Write it here,” she said. “I’ll see you around Nick.” She smacked my back and started walking out her door again.

At least I got what I wanted, more time to thoroughly think through the question she asked me. It was like she read my mind and was allowing me all this time. It was either that or she had completed forgotten she even asked me if we could ever go back to the way we were.

I slowly started making my way downstairs and when I reached the last step I heard Kyle’s motorcycle start up. He left it idling for ten seconds and finally he took off. I walked into the living room and noticed Frankie was sitting up, watching television.

“Tank, let’s go,” I said messing up his hair. He moved his head away from me and shook his head.

“They have food,” he explained, “And Mrs. Lilly’s grandma called mom up.”

“Are they coming?” I questioned. Frankie nodded his head and I sat down next to him. “What are you watching?”

“A show,” Frankie said. I stared at the screen and noticed the little Nickelodeon symbol at the bottom of the screen. “That’s too cool for you to be watching.” Frankie stood up and threw himself at me, trying to cover my eyes.

“Frankie,” I said trying to make him stop squirming around. “Don’t rip the couch; it’s not even our house.”

“You sound like mom sometimes,” Frankie said. He looked up at me and laughed. “Why didn’t you leave with LJ?”

“I wasn’t invited,” I said. “We can hang out with her tomorrow though. She’s babysitting Alana.”

“Really?” Frankie asked. He leapt up and threw his hands in the air. “Woo hoo. Tomorrow is going to be fun, unlike today. You promised fun.”

“I know Frankie,” I said feeling bad. “Tomorrow will be better, I promise.”

“Can you take Alana and me to Chucky Cheese?” Frankie asked. “Please? I’ll let you beat me at Mario Kart.” I smiled down at Frankie again.

“Maybe,” I said. “You have to ask Lilly. She’s supposed to watch Alana, not take her out for pizza.”

“LJ won’t mind,” Frankie said. “She’s awesome and she lets you do anything as long as she has fun.”

“Yeah?” I asked. “How would you know this?”

“She told me,” Frankie said in a duh tone. How can he possibly know more about Lilly than I do? He’s only known her for a few days and he’s acting like they’re best friends. I guess that’s the cool part about little kids. They can be best friends with almost anyone they meet.

After a while, I was starting to feel awkward and uncomfortable being in a house with people I just met. At least they were nice and welcoming, but that was beside the point. I should just leave. I’ve overstayed my welcome in my opinion.

When Frankie finally got tired of sitting on me, he rolled to sit to my left and I heard the doorbell ring. Maggie walked from the kitchen to the living room and threw me a smile as she walked to open the door.

“Denise, Paul, boys!” she cooed. “How wonderful to have you here. Come in, please.”

“Hey Nick, where’s your girl at?” Joe yelled out once he gave Maggie a hug. “Thought you two would be snuggling it up already.”

“She’s out,” I said. “She said sorry she’s not here to throw food at you or put whipped cream on your hair though.” Joe gave a smug look as he and Kevin went to sit next to Frankie.

“You two are back together?” Mom gushed. “Oh Nicholas! That’s wonderful.”

“No, Mom,” I said. I started tapping my foot on the floor. “Joe’s just being…”

“Joe,” Kevin finished. I nodded my head while Joe just smirked.

“I thought they were,” he said. Mom smiled and she and Dad were led into the kitchen with Maggie. “Where is she anyways? Babysitting?”

“And you care why?” I asked.

“I can’t ask a question?” Joe asked. “I care about her well being.”

“Yeah, sure,” I replied. “Says the guy who is in love with her.”

“I am not.”

“So why are you here?” Kevin asked. “If you’re not back together and she’s not even here.”

“She was here,” I said. “Frankie wanted to come anyways. We were supposed to bake--”

“You don’t even know how to bake,” Kevin said, causing Frankie and Joe to laugh.

“Her grandma knows,” I said. “Are you guys going to keep asking me all these questions about us? There is no us and probably won’t ever be again.”

“Says who?” Joe asked. “Did she yell at you again?”

“No,” I replied. “She’s just busy all the time. We spend five minutes with each other and someone always comes at the wrong time and our time is cut short. Plus I think she has a crush on that Kyle guy.” Kevin and Joe both snorted at the same time and immediately tried to hide it by coughing. I glared at them and tuned my attention to the television.

“Nick, she can’t like Kyle,” Kevin said. “He’s different and he’s worse than Joe.”

“Okay, then,” I said, “Tell me why she’s at his house right now when we were supposed to hang out all day.”

“Old plans?” Kevin asked. I shook my head as I continued watching the show Frankie had on. “He’s just a friend Nick. I know she’s stubborn and mean, but she still likes you, a lot.”

“Okay,” I replied. “Thanks, I guess.”

After another awkward silence, with just the television on, Mom finally came to get us so we could all eat. Everyone served themselves, and the atmosphere in the house was jubilant. Everyone was talkative and talking amongst themselves while I just sat there, absorbed in my own little world. Everyone was laughing at how goofy Joe was acting; listening to all the stories he had about touring. Only about three of them I recalled and they were only a little funny.

I kept constantly looking at my watch, waiting for ten o’clock to come, but I knew we weren’t going to stay here that long. And over an hour later, those words were finally spoken: “Boys lets head home.”

I could finally stare at my phone in the private of my own home now. Not that I was going to constantly keep looking at it. I just wanted to go home and keep to myself for once.

Being at home, cooped up in my room was boring, but at least nobody bothered me. I could at least think and have “me” time. I could strum away at my guitar or even come up with a new song. That was all at the back of my mind though. Every five minutes, I would glance over at my alarm clock or stare at my phone; thinking somehow if I stared at it long enough it would ring.

It was now 10:30 and nothing has happened. No text, no missed calls; nothing. Then again she did say ten or eleven. There was a possibility she was running late; caught up with all the “fun” her and Kyle were having.

I rolled onto my back and tried to get into the Tetris game on my phone. I kept losing because I was too absorbed on Lilly. I was started to get annoyed with myself.

Why do I even care so much about her? She doesn’t seem to care about me. All I know is that she could be hooking up with him right now; or maybe one of his older friends. She didn’t need or even want to be with me again. Who am I kidding?

There was a faint knock at my door, and I sat up faster than a bolt of lightening.

“Yeah?”

The door cracked open, revealing my mom. She smiled as she walked in my room, already in her pajamas.

“Goodnight Nicholas,” she said. She sat on my bed and kissed the top of my head. “Get some sleep, okay?” I nodded my head as I hugged my mom.

“Love you mom,” I said as she stood up and she walked to my door.

“Love you too,” she replied as she closed the door.

The clock was ticking away, and it was now nearing midnight. I would have gone to bed already, guessing she had no interest in calling me, but I didn’t hear that loud motorcycle rumble past the gate. Then I wondered a million thoughts about her getting in some sort of accident with Kyle or that she was stuck at his house.

I quickly went to grab a jacket that was lying on my floor and put it on. I quietly left my room, went downstairs and quietly opened the front door. I was going to do something I knew I might end up regretting. I was going to wait outside until Lilly came home. I had a gut feeling she was nowhere close to home, but I was not about to start wondering around this unfamiliar city, alone at midnight. She wasn’t that worth it.

I sat at the bottom of my steps, waiting and listening to every sound. It was dark, quiet and sort of creepy sitting out here all by myself. At the slightest sound, I would crane my neck to get a view of what made that sound.

It was past 12:30 in the morning, and I still didn’t give up. I’ll wait until the sun comes up if I have to. At least I was I was home if I had to run in for any reason. Lilly wasn’t. My eyes started drooping and kept closing on their own. I wish I had brought some coffee outside with me. I was in desperate need of some if I was planning on staying out any longer.

Finally, I heard a more familiar sound. It sounded almost like one of those lazy people who drag their feet when they walk. I stood up and squinted, trying to see who was walking towards the neighborhood.

I walked down the pathway and on the grass toward the sidewalk.

“Nick? What the fuck are you doing up?”

“I was waiting for you,” I said. “It was getting late and I was starting to worry. Why are you walking? Where’s Kyle?”

Lilly rolled her eyes. “That douche fuck got wasted and wanted to drive me home. I obviously said no and just left. I realized he lived a little further than just ten minutes so it took me forever to walk home.” She looked extremely infuriated and looked as if she wanted to cry. “You really waited for me?”

“Of course I waited for you,” I said. “Why didn’t you call for anyone to pick you up?”

“You waited?” she repeated. She reminded me of those people in the movie The Happening. I nodded and was about to speak, but was thrown with a surprise. Lilly threw herself at me and gave me a tight hug. “No one has ever stayed out all night waiting for me.”

“I’m not anyone I guess,” I said as my hand rubbed her back soothingly. She kept on hugging me, but I was not going to complain. I did say I would stay up all night just waiting for her. Hugging her was a different story. I’d stay up for days on end just as long as I could just put my arms around her.

“Thank you Nicholas,” she whispered in my ear. She kissed the crook of my neck and removed her arms from around me. She gave me a smile and the two of us stood there, not wanting this moment to end.

I smiled back at her, “You’re welcome. Do you want me to walk you home? You look tired.” She shook her head and sat right where she stood, in the middle of the sidewalk.

“Let’s talk all night,” she said tugging at my jeans. “Unless you’re tired.”

I sat down in front of her with my legs crossed. “Of course I’m not tired. What do you want to talk about?”