Crazy? Yes Maybe, but Only for You, Baby.

It was one of those days. As I lay face down on my front lawn, the brilliant green of the grass clashing intensely with the blue of the sky, I wondered why I was lying face down. My nose was squashed against the freshly cut grass and when I breathed in, all I could smell was dirt and worm poo. Awesome.

I rolled back over onto my back, armed draped across my face to shield me from the sun. It was Saturday afternoon, and everyone seemed to be rushing around busily, with somewhere to be and something to do. All except me. I put my feet up in the air so I could look at my Chucks as boredom washed over me, I decided I had gone to long without doing something completely spontaneous. Forty-seven minutes and counting, if you must know.

“This song goes out to all my neighbors out there!” I said loudly, causing old Mrs. Roberts to cast me a glare from her side of the overgrown hedge that she was furiously chopping back. I gave her a grin, and opened my mouth widely to take in a giant gasp.

“I, wanna fuck a dog in the arse! I wanna fuck a dog!” I sung deafeningly, hoping that maybe, just maybe, Mrs. Roberts will yell at me.

Sure enough, I got my wish.

“Hey! That is completely rude, and despicable! Didn’t your mother teach you any manners at all? Children these days…” She ranted on, not noticing my devilish grin, as I jumped to my feet and walked down the path and into her yard, until I was standing next to her. She was to busy in her rant, to realize I was there, so I reached out and gave her a little squeeze, and a kiss on the cheek, making her jump in fright, mid-sentence.

“I love you too, Mrs. Roberts!” I said cheerily, skipping back over to my place, and doing a cartwheel up to my front door, where my mother had been standing, watching us with her cheeks a violent shade of crimson.

“Holleeh, couldn’t you just go one day with out harassing the neighbors? Perhaps go one day being, oh I don’t know, normal?” My mother asked tiredly, the bags under her eyes pulled her whole face down in a frown. I flashed her a giant smile.

“No can do! Normal is for those with no imagination, in fact, it’s for boring people.” I said rather loudly, stretching out the ‘boring.’ My mother huffed causing her bangs to dance widely around her face. I laughed and blew in her face, making them dance again before running back down our garden, and sitting square in the middle of it.

“Maybe you should go call up a friend, or go get out of the house?” My mother asked suggestively. I sighed and fell backwards so I could look up at her, my pupils expanding as I widened my eyes.

“Mum, you know as well as I do that people, especially kids my age, don’t accept unique-ism. And I don’t need friends, I’m perfectly happy being by myself!” I said, throwing her another content smile. My mother frowned down at me. She went to turn away, but I stopped her by speaking out.

“Mother, you really shouldn’t frown. Smiling is the new black! Turn that frown upside down!” My mother had already continued walking away as I shouted my suggestions at her.

I laughed at myself, and then proceeded to stand on my head, waving my feet round in the air. As the blood rushed to my skull, I could make out the shape of a fairly young looking dude making his way over toward me, before throwing himself beside me, laying down and staring at my red face.

“You have caramel eyes!” I chimed happily, before falling backwards with a slight ‘oopft’.

“That I do. Wow, you have almost purple eyes!” The boy exclaimed back at me, peering closer. We continued to stare at each other for a moment, before Caramel broke the silence.

“So do you always go around singing R16 songs and molesting the elderly?” The boy asked me.

“Do you always go around lying on random molester’s lawns?” I asked back, my grin matching his.

“Touché! Hi, I’m Brendon Urie.” Brendon said, sticking out his hand toward me. I laughed at my previous victory, and shook his hand.

“I’m Holleeh. Spelt with two l’s, two e’s and h at the end!” I stated proudly.

“Wow, I’ve never heard of anyone spelling it like that! It’s pretty unique!” He said looking down to our still intertwined hands. I started swing our hands back and forth.

“Well, I’m a very unique person!” I said happily.

“Oh, you’re one of those, don’t label me, I’m me, type of people, huh?”

“Wrong!” I shouted loudly, making everyone in a five-mile radius to jump. I smirked and continued.

“I am not one those, I am me, people because everyone is doing that. It’s like it’s the new trend to be yourself, and everyone is doing it, but really they are all just being like each other by being themselves, so to rap up this rant, I am a somebody. Who that somebody is, well, I don’t know yet.” Brendon’s forehead was scrunched up in concentration as he tried to digest all this. Finally, he let out a loud sigh.

“Alright you got me. You have successfully spammed my brain.” He said, letting out a high-pitched laugh.

“Sweet!” I said punching the air with my free arm.
“Wanna go get something to eat?” Brendon asked randomly.

“Wow, stay here and die of boredom or by getting a shovel thrown at me, or go out to lunch with a complete random, who could be a rapist, but is offering to shout me, hmm…” I said pretending to think hard until my stomach growled, answering for me.

“Well that’s that, come on!” I said, springing to my feet, and pulling at his arm impatiently. He laughed as he struggled to his feet.

“God, you’re slow! How old are you, anyway?” I asked, as he gave me an odd look then shrugged it off.

“I just turned twenty one.” He admitted with slight shyness.

“Cool! You’re legal everywhere!” I shouted, jumping up and down, when I saw my mother approaching at the door once more.

“Honey, where are you going? And who’s that?” She asked, concern lining her expression.

“Muuuuum, I’m going out to lunch with my new friend Brendon, we’ll be sweet, he promised he wasn’t a rapist.” I said nonchalantly, Brendon looked between my mother and I.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea…” She started and I pouted at her.

“Mum, for the first time ever, besides us, there is a person who lives on this street who isn’t old, a pedophile or gay!” I stopped and turned at Brendon, who was shaking his head to get his shaggy, brown fringe out of his eyes.

“Unless there is something you haven’t told me…” I trailed off, ending my half-stated sentence with a smirk. Brendon just laughed and shook his head at me.

“Anyhoodles, we are off. Bye mother!” I yelled, before linking arms with Brendon and skipping down the road.