September Storms
September Storms
She trudged through the house, feeling the walls with her fingertips so she wouldn’t be another bump in the night. Moments ago, she had just woken up, only to see the clock read eleven. Her mother was long asleep, and her father was gone with the wind. The wind she felt. The wind that carried a storm.
She walked out the hallway window and into the cold air. The breeze pushed the her wait length hair off of her face. She rubbed her arms for a little warmth, and lay on her back to look at the stars. Some thunder was heard in the distance. She felt it rumble inside of her heart. She closed her eyes.
“There’s a girl I’m infatuated with.”
She heard his words in her head and heart. She felt them. So genuine. So sweet. And she was jealous of her. Jealous of the fact the one boy she actually felt connected to, maybe even close to feeling love towards, was in love with someone else. The one girl he’d ever feel anything for. And she hated how it wasn’t her. Hated it with a fiery passion.
“There’s only one boy I’d ever date.”
Her words repeated in her head, and in his heart beat. She had been so honest about it to herself, but everything threw her off. The fact she liked him, the whole emotional complex she had with her. She knew she’d never be the same if she couldn’t have love from either, but even thought she knew her longer than him, only he could save her.
“Her name is my favorite flower.”
She was his little flower. His baby. She was the one he loved. She knew it in her heart, and she felt it in her gut. Her subconscious told her yes, but her pessimistic mind always doubted the obvious. It killed her that she couldn’t know, couldn’t understand.
Couldn’t understand until someone gave her answers. Until she was able to stop crying over her every night. Until she gave up with a girl who lived much closer, but pushed much further away.
Somedays, she’d look at the stars and wonder if he could see them. Sometimes, when the moon was full, she’d text him and ask if he could see it, and he always could. It made her happy they could share a moment and mentally hold each other, and be strong with them, even just for a moment.
But soon enough, clouds shrouded those views. Hurricane Echo approached soon enough, and thoughts filled her muffled mind. Thoughts of doubt. Thoughts of pain. Thoughts of words that could never be said. And thoughts of wishes. Wishes for him to be okay. Wishes for everything to be over. Even a wish that she’d get pneumonia from the rain and be gone.
“We’re openly in love, but nothing will ever happen.”
“We’re openly in love, but it won’t get anywhere.”
“We’re openly in love.”
“Openly in love...”
Her eyelids whipped open. Tears matched the rain and just streamed, without a struggle, down her pale cheeks. Her shadow colored hair was sticking to the roofing tile, but she didn’t care. All she could think about was him. Him.
“I love you.”
“You’re so sweet.”
“Beautiful to me.”
“Ich Liebe Dich.”
“I miss you.”
Three words. All of those beautiful things he had said. Words he’d come up with on his own, it seemed, although they’d probably been said a million times before by greek gods and royalty.
He was the only one who treated her like royalty. Every time they talked, she couldn’t help but smile. Couldn’t help but laugh at his thoughts, comments, and mess ups. She couldn’t help but listen to her feelings, and know he was all right every once in a while. She couldn’t help listening to his thoughts.
And he did the same.
They’d known each other two years, and they’d already saved each other. She couldn’t explain how. It just happened. He was healthy because she didn’t lose hope. Because she wished for him every night. Because she never stopped caring or dreaming of the day he’d be okay.
At least, that’s what she liked to think.
He’d kept her from killing herself so many times, except maybe this time. The wind was ripping at her, and the rain was bruising her skin. Her thoughts were rapid, almost like how it would go if it hailed. When she got scared when he went into surgery, or that she’d die without seeing his smile in person.
Maybe she was insane.
But then again, maybe she wasn’t.
Soon enough, the rain had cleared. No trees had fallen. Not yet anyway. It was dark, and the eye of the storm was staring down at her from the heavens. it drizzled lightly. And suddenly, she felt a hand wrap in hers. She looked to her left and saw a smile. Gray eyes, begging for her to be okay.
And maybe she was hallucinating.
But hallucination or not, he’d saved her again. Not with music, but with words. Not with chords, but with hope. Not with rhythm, but with love.
He smiled at her.
“I love you.”
“Everyone needs a little hope.”
She looked deeply into him, closed her eyes, and wished with all of her strength.
And although the storm was never put to a full end, at least it didn’t cause as much damage. At least it didn’t kill anyone. At least no one was hurt. At least it was just a little thunderstorm.
And thunderstorms always pass.
She walked out the hallway window and into the cold air. The breeze pushed the her wait length hair off of her face. She rubbed her arms for a little warmth, and lay on her back to look at the stars. Some thunder was heard in the distance. She felt it rumble inside of her heart. She closed her eyes.
“There’s a girl I’m infatuated with.”
She heard his words in her head and heart. She felt them. So genuine. So sweet. And she was jealous of her. Jealous of the fact the one boy she actually felt connected to, maybe even close to feeling love towards, was in love with someone else. The one girl he’d ever feel anything for. And she hated how it wasn’t her. Hated it with a fiery passion.
“There’s only one boy I’d ever date.”
Her words repeated in her head, and in his heart beat. She had been so honest about it to herself, but everything threw her off. The fact she liked him, the whole emotional complex she had with her. She knew she’d never be the same if she couldn’t have love from either, but even thought she knew her longer than him, only he could save her.
“Her name is my favorite flower.”
She was his little flower. His baby. She was the one he loved. She knew it in her heart, and she felt it in her gut. Her subconscious told her yes, but her pessimistic mind always doubted the obvious. It killed her that she couldn’t know, couldn’t understand.
Couldn’t understand until someone gave her answers. Until she was able to stop crying over her every night. Until she gave up with a girl who lived much closer, but pushed much further away.
Somedays, she’d look at the stars and wonder if he could see them. Sometimes, when the moon was full, she’d text him and ask if he could see it, and he always could. It made her happy they could share a moment and mentally hold each other, and be strong with them, even just for a moment.
But soon enough, clouds shrouded those views. Hurricane Echo approached soon enough, and thoughts filled her muffled mind. Thoughts of doubt. Thoughts of pain. Thoughts of words that could never be said. And thoughts of wishes. Wishes for him to be okay. Wishes for everything to be over. Even a wish that she’d get pneumonia from the rain and be gone.
“We’re openly in love, but nothing will ever happen.”
“We’re openly in love, but it won’t get anywhere.”
“We’re openly in love.”
“Openly in love...”
Her eyelids whipped open. Tears matched the rain and just streamed, without a struggle, down her pale cheeks. Her shadow colored hair was sticking to the roofing tile, but she didn’t care. All she could think about was him. Him.
“I love you.”
“You’re so sweet.”
“Beautiful to me.”
“Ich Liebe Dich.”
“I miss you.”
Three words. All of those beautiful things he had said. Words he’d come up with on his own, it seemed, although they’d probably been said a million times before by greek gods and royalty.
He was the only one who treated her like royalty. Every time they talked, she couldn’t help but smile. Couldn’t help but laugh at his thoughts, comments, and mess ups. She couldn’t help but listen to her feelings, and know he was all right every once in a while. She couldn’t help listening to his thoughts.
And he did the same.
They’d known each other two years, and they’d already saved each other. She couldn’t explain how. It just happened. He was healthy because she didn’t lose hope. Because she wished for him every night. Because she never stopped caring or dreaming of the day he’d be okay.
At least, that’s what she liked to think.
He’d kept her from killing herself so many times, except maybe this time. The wind was ripping at her, and the rain was bruising her skin. Her thoughts were rapid, almost like how it would go if it hailed. When she got scared when he went into surgery, or that she’d die without seeing his smile in person.
Maybe she was insane.
But then again, maybe she wasn’t.
Soon enough, the rain had cleared. No trees had fallen. Not yet anyway. It was dark, and the eye of the storm was staring down at her from the heavens. it drizzled lightly. And suddenly, she felt a hand wrap in hers. She looked to her left and saw a smile. Gray eyes, begging for her to be okay.
And maybe she was hallucinating.
But hallucination or not, he’d saved her again. Not with music, but with words. Not with chords, but with hope. Not with rhythm, but with love.
He smiled at her.
“I love you.”
“Everyone needs a little hope.”
She looked deeply into him, closed her eyes, and wished with all of her strength.
And although the storm was never put to a full end, at least it didn’t cause as much damage. At least it didn’t kill anyone. At least no one was hurt. At least it was just a little thunderstorm.
And thunderstorms always pass.