I've Got Your Mixed Tape In My Walkman

"Why are people so cruel." Val said as she read over the notes laying on the table.

"Because we naturally are." I said.

Matt crawled back over to the stereo and stared at the play button before he looked back over at us. "Four left."

We all sat back in our previous stops away from the table, away from the notes.

Matt pushed the play button and readjusted Val under his arm.

"Hey Guys."

She didn't sound as happy as she usual did in the beginning of each story.

I've got a new date for you.

Date?

Its New Years Eve.

Fuck.

"A little more than a week left." Zack whispered staring at the ceiling. You could see the water in his eyes.

Yep. New Years Eve.

And that could only mean one thing.

Thomas Hurley's New Years Party.

Thomas Hurley's New Years Party.

You know his biggest party of the year.

Well its just so happens that the next two stories take place at his party.

I know you were all there. So, why didn't anyone stay with me?

What were you all doing?

Matt and Val were off in their own little world. Zacky and Brian were hooking up with five different girls.

And me?

I was in the basement getting high with Johnny.

Sorry Lily.

I guess that doesn't really matter.

It wouldn't of changed the outcome of the night.

How do I know?

How do I know that I could of not of been in that situation.

Well I guess Tape 6 side A has that story.

Back to this one.

What?

I was sitting in his living room beer in hand, as I watched everyone else go there own way.

No I wasn't drunk. That was the only beer I had, that night. It was also the last beer ill ever have.

And then I left his living room and went to look for someone, one of you six.

I went upstairs and walked into a bedroom. I'm going to guess by the sport stuff it belonged to Thomas.

I looked around his room at the pictures and medals that were nailed and taped to his wall.

"Hey." I heard someone slur behind me.

I turned around and took a small step back and whispered. "Hey." back to him.

He closed the door behind him.

"What are you doing up here, all alone." He started walking over to me.

"I was looking....looking for my friends."

He smiled and sat on the bed. "Come sit by me."

"This better not be your story Jimmy." Zack warned me.

I gulped because I don't remember this night at all.

I told him that was okay but he wasn't taking that for an answer.

So I sat next to him on the bed.

His hand moved to my thigh and my jaw clenched and he removed his hand.

"Lily right?" he asked and placed his hand back on my thigh rubbing it softly.

I looked at him blankly before I looked at the wall behind him, trying not to look into his blue eyes.

"Michael" I whispered. "I have to-"

I was cut of by his lips on mine. I pushed him away but he just grabbed my waist and pulled me under him.

He began kissing my neck and locking me under him.

"No!"

She screamed but it also sounded like she was crying.

No.

I don't know how many times I told him no. Over and over again.

I tried moving, hitting him. But he was to strong for me. I couldn't move, I was paralyzed under his body.

Michael Lillard, is a senior. He is known for his one night stands at these parties. He is known for doing this to girls.

I could hear Lily trying to talk but it just came out as a sob.

I'm sorry.

She said and sobbed again. She kept going until she calmed herself down.

I said no. I screamed no!

And no one heard.

No one cared to come check on the screams that were coming from that door.

Did people think my cries were that of a good time?

Because I don't remember one good memory of losing my innocence.

Thats right, I was a virgin.

Caleb didn't get lucky.

Jay Howard didn't get lucky.

Those to were only rumors.

But the one rumor that was true is that Michael Lillard did get lucky.

And I said no. That is the part of the rumor that never got told.

That I said no.

That after I was visibly uncomfortable in the position Michael was putting me in, he still felt it was right to fuck me.

To rape me.

But I couldn't tell anyone that he raped me.

Why? Why Lily? Why didn't you tell anyone he raped you?

She was crying again.

Because telling anyone what Michael did to me wasn't an option.

No one would of believed me.

No one would of said Lily, I believe you. I believe that Michael raped you.

No one would do that for me.

And I only have Alaina Johnson to thank for that.

We heard Lily sobbing again. I don't think she realized that the recorder was still on and we could hear her.

We could hear Lily breaking. We could hear her end.

"Wow." Brain murmured as her crying stopped and the tape skipped.

Matt took tape six and seven off the table and held them in each hand.

"Almost at the end." he whispered as he placed tape six into the stereo.

God. I let out a quivering breath and closed my eyes.

The end.