I Hate Everything About You

“What the fuck,” I mumbled.

Caitlin looked at me, a similar expression on her face. I knew she was thinking the same thing. Why the hell was Alex here? “Joseph, honey,” my mom said as she saw us. “There you guys are. Look who’s here.”

Alex turned around as did the guy she was with. She looked amazing as a smile came to her face when she saw me. But she wasn’t anything special. She was beautiful. But she wasn’t my beautiful anymore. And looking at her now, I wondered what I had seen in her, and why I was so into a girl who wasn’t Caitlin. Yes, there I said it. I loved Caitlin. But she wanted to pretend nothing happened yesterday, so obviously she didn’t feel the same way back. “Hey Joe,” Alex smiled. “Hey Caitlin.”

“Um hey,” I said, trying to smile. Caitlin’s was even more forced as no words of greeting came out of her mouth.

“How’ve you guys been?” Alex inquired.

“Fine,” Caitlin answered curtly. I saw my mom grin at Caitlin, and it made me suppress a laugh. I knew my family basically hated Alex, which made the question ring in my ears again. What was she going here? “So what are you doing here?” Caitlin asked, breaking the awkward silence that had broken out.

We all gapped at Caitlin for asking the question we were all wondering and just too nice to ask. I should have known she would ask it anyway, so I wasn’t surprised about that. I was surprised because her tone made it sound like she actually cared.

“Oh, um we were in the neighborhood,” Alex rubbed her arm, and looked quickly at her friend before looking back at Caitlin. I noticed how she never looked Caitlin in the face, as if she were too intimidated.

“In a park?” Caitlin asked, her tone skeptical and sarcastic.

“Um, no,” Alex said uncomfortably. “We were walking in the park, and we saw you so I thought I’d come say hi.”

“Hi,” Nick said, cueing her to leave now that her mission was complete.

“I was also wondering if you guys um – well see –“

“No it’s fine, take your sweet time,” Caitlin interjected.

Kevin and I laughed. My mom shot him a look, but I saw a faint smile on her face.

Alex looked down. “Maybe I should go,” she said. “Okay, it was good seeing you.”

“Mhm,” Caitlin waved her off, and turned her attention elsewhere, particularly to the grill where my dad was making hotdogs. “Food, yes!”

She walked over, and sat next to Nick. I watched Alex and her friend walk away. Before she left, she looked at me quickly, her face sad. I sighed, the history we had interceding in my decision to just let her leave. “I’ll be right back,” I told everyone as ran after her. “Alex, wait up.”

She stopped and turned. “Hey Joe. Don’t worry point taken. I’ll just go.”

“Wait, come on,” I said, sighing. “Sorry about that. Caitlin is really –“

“Bitchy?” Alex suggested quietly.

“No she’s not,” I defended her. I realized I wasn’t fully lying this time either. “She’s just really – opinionated. But anyways, what did you need?”

Alex smiled slightly. “I was just coming to say hi. And I wanted to apologize again. I mean, what I did, it was really messed up.”

I shrugged. “I’m over it.”

“Obviously,” she said, smiling and inclining her head towards my family. “Oh shit, maybe I shouldn’t be talking to you right now if I want to keep my head.”

I followed her gaze back, and saw Caitlin staring at us, a hotdog in her hand. She was just starring, particularly at me. And her expression made my heart flip a bit. She looked – jealous. “Woah Caitlin,” I heard Nick say. “What did the hotdog ever do to you?”

I laughed as I saw the hotdog in her hand was crushed. She threw it out, and went back to the grill, turning her back to me. I turned back to Alex, feeling horrible. I could see that Caitlin was upset, and I wanted to go find out why. I wanted to help her. “Seriously, I’m fine.”

“Okay,” Alex said. “Well then I’ll let you get back to your picnic.”

“Sure you don’t want a hotdog?” I asked politely.

She laughed lightly. “I’d rather not.”

“Alright, see you,” I said and turned to walk back. I sat down next to Caitlin at the picnic table, and grabbed her hotdog. “Thanks, I’m starving,” I said as I took a bite. I wanted her to smile or something, because right now she looked just blank. There was no response. She just got up and went to go get another one. “What did I do?” I asked Nick quietly.

Nick sighed, and shook his head. “You made her fall in love.”