I Hate Everything About You

"Come on, come on, pick up," I whispered as the line continued to ring. I looked at the bathroom door as if to check if I was going to get caught. But then I remembered the door was closed, and myhusband was sleeping.

"Hello," Dani's voice sounded as if she just woke up.

"Dani," I whispered. "What the hell? Way to not pick up for like ever."

I could practically see her rolling her eyes. "Sorry that it's 9 in the morning and I like to sleep late on Saturday morning."

I smiled. Dani was the only person who ever talked back to me. This was why she was my best friend. "So way to leave me last night."

"I didn't want to intrude on your honeymoon," I heard her say.

"Honestly, at any part of the night, did it occur to you to be like no Caitlin, don't get married, you're too drunk to make decisions," I said sarcastically.

"Honestly," she asked. "I threw up all over my brand new car, so um – obviously not."

I sighed. "What the hell am I going to do?"

"Be the best Mrs. Jonas ever," she suggested.

"Your sarcasm isn't appreciated," I snapped.

She laughed. "Cait, chill. It'll be fine. I'm sure he wants to be out of this as much as you do."

"Right," I said, seeing she was making sense.

"So just be like we should have it annulled today," she continued. "And you'll be fine."

I nodded, even though she couldn't see me. "Okay, piece of cake." I groaned. "I think I – slept with him." My voice lowered even more.

"Was it good," she asked.

"Well, I mean obvious—not funny Dani," I rolled my eyes.

She laughed. "Caitlin, relax. It was your honeymoon."

I rolled my eyes again. "Shut up, it's not funny. I have Jonas on me."

"Take a shower," she suggested, still giggling. "Okay, my head is killing me. So I'm going to go. Call me later, okay?"

"Okay bye," I said quietly before hanging up. I looked back at the door, hoping he wouldn't wake up any time soon.

I didn't know what I was going to do or say. And I didn't know what to expect. All I knew was that I had now been hiding in the shower for more than an hour, and the water had just gotten cold. As much as I didn't want to face the confrontation with myhusband, I knew I couldn't avoid it any longer. Especially when I heard him screaming into his phone. Obviously, he wasn't too happy about the whole married scenario either. I went to go put my clothes on, but lucky me, my bag was outside.

Slowly, I opened the door. I saw him sitting on the bed, his eyes on me. And just my luck, I was naked in a towel. "Um—hi," I said timidly.

"Hi," he said, his voice just as soft.

I just stood there as we continued to stare at each other. "So um," I said finally. "I have to get my clothes."

"Okay," he said.

I walked over to my bag, grabbing my clothes. Quickly putting them on, I turned to Joe. "So um – any chance these are some fake prop?" I held my hand up, showing the ring.

He sighed, shaking his head. "I called Nick. Apparently, it's legit."

"Dammit," I cursed. "What the hell do we do now?"

"Um not to be mean or anything," he looked away. "But um, we were both just really drunk last night. And I'm sure you're a great girl and everything, but um – maybe we should um –"

"Wait, hold up, are you breaking up with me," I asked, my anger rising. I know this Jonas loser didn't actually think he was breaking up with me.

"Well, um," he played with his hands. "I don't want to be married. And like I said, I'm sure you're a great gir—"

"Um no," I said. "You are not breaking up with me. I'm breaking up with you."

"What," Joe asked. "Why does it matter?"

"Because I'm Caitlin," I rolled my eyes. "I can't be dumped by a Disney star. . . no offense."

"Like I can be dumped by the industry's biggest bitch," he rolled his eyes too.

"At least I made it on my own," I snapped back.

"You know, just because my label is Hollywood Records and that's partially Disney, doesn't mean I didn't have to make it on my own too. My brothers and me had to work for it. It wasn't just handed to us."

I felt bad for what I said. But I was Caitlin Pierce. And I wasn't going to take it back. "Look, long story short, we need to get this annulled – today."

"Agreed," he said.

"And since I'm the girl," I said. "I get to break up with you."

"Hey –" He was cut off as his phone started ringing. He picked it up. I rolled my eyes. Rude much? "Hey Nick. No we haven't seen the newspa— what? Okay, hold on." He cupped his hand over the mouthpiece. "Nick said turn on E!'s Daily 10 now."

I nodded, quickly grabbing the remote and putting in on. I froze as I save a picture of Joe and me from last night leaving city hall. "And for our number 1 story today, Joe Jonas and Caitlin Pierce got hitched last night from apparently too much alcohol. Let's see how long this one lasts. Maybe Joe will actually be able to handle Caitlin," the girl said.

I gasped. "Handle me? What the fuck does that mean?"

"That's what you're worried about," Joe smirked a bit. "Not the fact that the whole world now knows that we're husband and wife?"

I rolled my eyes. "That can be dealt with."

"Yeah, but—"

He was cut off again. This time, it was by my phone. I picked it up and looked at the caller ID. Mom. "Oh fuck."