It's the Mess That Feels So Right...

"I'm so, so sorry!" I said for the millionth time, my face guilty as William turned to me, glaring at me from over the pack of frozen peas set on his swollen nose.

"Like I said before, I forgive you! You didn't exactly throw the punch, if you did, I would be very scared of you," William said with a little laugh, and wincing straight after. I didn't reply, feeling so guilty for being the cause of William's damaged face. The fan girls are going to kill me.

"Seriously, it wasn't your fault. It doesn't even hurt that much." William held my hand and was trying for a smile that turned out more like a grimace of pain. Despite my will, I had to laugh at his stupid expression.

"There's that smile! My nose will be fine, I promise!" I gave a helpless little moan, and fell back into William's chest, snuggling up to him as he wrapped his arm around me, the other still occupied with holding the frozen vegetables in place.

"Gabe was so mad," I muttered, remembering back to the expression on his face, something I could never forget. It seemed so cold. William swept my hair back off my face in what was supposed to be a comforting matter, yet it set off the tears I had been holding back all night.

"Hey, don't cry!" William's voice sounded scared, like he wasn't sure what to do. "Sure, Gabe is mad now, but once he gets over himself and realizes that even if he doesn't like it, we are still going to be together, he'll be back to normal." I nodded, but didn't believe a word he said. He didn't exactly know Gabe as well as I did, and I knew how long he could hold grudges, often for too long.

"But until then, what am I going to do now? It's not like I can just go home and ignore him." I looked up at the shabby hotel ceiling, flecked with particles of dirt and other possible heath-endangering substances.

"Stay with me." He made it sound so simple, like if I did that, everything would be fine. I was always one to run from my problems, a nasty habit I learnt off my mother, yet this time, it didn't seem to be the answer. I wanted to make things right, I wanted Gabe back to normal, to be my Gabe again. Sure, it wouldn't exactly be the same, Gabe would still be thinking of ways tokill get back at William when he came to pick me up for dinner, but it would be better than how it was now.

"William..."

"Okay, I know that's not exactly an answer, eventually you are going to have to talk to him, but at least until then, stay with me. I don't like being away from you for to long, everything seems better when you're around." I knew that he was referring back to his depression days and felt a stab of pain at my heart. Was it not possible to have both my boys at the same time?

"I'll stay for tonight." Staying with William for any amount of time would piss Gabe off, make him angrier than needed. Before William could argue, there was a loud knock, followed by Caleb's obnoxious yelling for us to open the door. I rolled my eyes at my best friends behavior then made my way to the door. As soon as the rectangle of wood was removed from between us, Caleb caught me up in one of his famous vice-like hugs.

"Caleb... the hugs aren't all to necessary," I said with a grin, as Caleb just laughed in return.

"I know, but you looked like you wanted one." He gave me a grin. "So you are all right then, yes? And you, Bill?" I nodded and Will chuckled.

"I think I'll live." Caleb nodded, chucking him a thumbs up and turned back to me.

"I took Gabe home, hid the alcohol and put the dude to bed."

"Is he okay? Is he mad? Did he say anything?" As my interrogation rattled on, Caleb put his hands on shoulders and shook me, hard. After half a minute, his hands fell away.

"Thanks, I needed that."

"Welcome! Anyway, he didn't say a word, at all. He's all just expressionless and stuff. You know? Like a whole bunch of smurfs and an elf could can-can in front of him, and he wouldn't even cringe." Will and I just stared at him. "Feel free to laugh at any point..." Caleb mumbled followed by a nervous laugh, making me smile. "Alright then, I better be off. Be good." Caleb wiggled his eyebrow at me in suggestive manner to accompany his request, then kissed my forehead and saluted William.

As soon as the door slammed to a close, William joked with a smile, "If he wasn't gay, I would feel slightly threatened."

-X-

"Where could you possibly be going at seven in the morning?" William asked from where he lay in the bed, legs tangled in the mess of sheets and his nose glowing a sickly purple, a painful reminder of yesterday. I chucked my shirt on quickly and began picking up a few necessities.

"I was thinking this morning that the sooner I see Gabe, the sooner this can all be sorted out. And besides, I'm feeling kind of confident today." I flashed William a smile and leaned over to peck him on the check, only to feel his arms sneak around my waist and pull me on top of him as he leaned back.

"Do you want me to come?" He asked, planting little kisses along my jaw line, making my thoughts fade out.

"Uh...no, babe, I think I better handle this one alone." William nodded thoughtfully and gave me what I would call a good luck squeeze.

I left the hotel feeling my confidence fade off, and nervousness creeping in it's place, my footsteps slowing as I got closer to my destination. Though it had been just a night, I felt a streak of homesickness as I viewed the block of apartments, the place I knew so well. My stomach rolled over at thought of having to face Gabe, the one person in this whole damn place that I was afraid to disappoint.

It seemed so over dramatic to be so afraid to go in and talk to Gabe, so why was I feeling this way? After the minute of a self-pep talk, I opened the door, breathing in the always present smell of Gabe's aftershave and the everlasting tang of the Chinese takeaways we both lived off. Peering around the door, the lounge was desolate, not even the yapping of Shylo to disturb the lonely silence.

"Gabriel?" The sound of my voice startled the quiet, and a bundle of fur flew out from the hallway to greet me with nip on my toes. I picked up the puppy and brought her to my chest, cuddling her as a way to calm myself down. I wandered down the hall and turned to the door on the left, listening in to any sounds of that could expose if anybody was inside. The sound of a throat being cleared was the answer to my muted questions, and I rested my left hand on the door knob after placing Shylo on the ground, and took a deep breath.

As the dark wood fell open, the comforting smell of Gabe filled my lungs, the same smell that has put my fears to rest for so many years before. His silhouette figure was curled up on the bed and it was obvious he was awake, his breathing was too fast to be in a state of sleep. The light escaped from the hall and crept into his room, and I dared to step closer.

"Gabriel?" I asked again, and watched as his body jerked but before his eyes fell on me, he was back to his original position. I walked even closer, till I was all but hovering above him and looked him square in the face. He took one swift glance at me and shut his eyes tight.

"Gabriel, come on. I know you're angry, but please just talk to me." I tried to reason, and in response, he rolled over to face the opposite wall.

"You are just be ridiculous. Stop acting like a jerk and grow up a little!" I spoke nonchalantly, though my words held spite. In an instant, he was off the bed and standing in front of me, his eyes blazing and his fist clenched, a resemblance of yesterday's main event.

"I'm being the jerk? You're the one that's been sneaking around with my best friend!" The words hit hard and fast, and my comeback was stuck in my throat. I pleaded with my eyes for him to calm down, I couldn't handle him like this.

"Please..." I trailed off and my eyes stayed on the floor.

"Please what? Stop telling it how it is? Making you feel bad? Good, because it makes me so fucked off to know that you are hanging around with not only a guy older than you, but a guy who is my best friend and knows that I lo-"

Gabe stopped suddenly and turned around, walking back out to the kitchen. I followed him, my head curious with wonder, wanting to know what he was going to say next.

"You what? What were you going to say?"

"It doesn't matter." He was leaning against the sink, looking out the window with his back to me. "The point is, he is older than you."

"Not even by that much! And I am practically an adult, I can make my own decisions." Gabe turned back to me, his face hard in a set thought.

"Well, if you're an adult, you don't need me anymore, so you can leave." I staggered back like he had actually hit me, I 'd rather he did instead of saying that. I knew he was angry, but I never thought he would be like this. Gaining my composure back quickly, I stood up straight to meet his eyes.

"Fine. I'll be out of here by tonight." I watched Gabe cave, I had caught his bluff, he hadn't meant it.

"But, where would you go?" He asked, his dark eyes filled with worry instead of anger. I shrugged, acting as nonchalantly as I could.

"I don't know. Maybe stay with Caleb or Vicky. Or perhaps William." It was right then that I wanted to take it all back, just apologize and go back to normal, have my Gabe back. But I just couldn't stop myself, the anger had to escape my body at some point.

"And if I don't need you, stop controlling my life! I don't need your God damn opinion on everything I do, so just go to hell!" He was fuming, there was no other way to describe the emotion displaying so clearly on his face.

"Why are you acting like such a brat?"

"Why are you talking to me like I'm a child?"

"Because you're acting like one!"

"Maybe because that's because you treat me like one! But guess what? I don't need you, or anybody else, so just fuck off and leave me alone!" I didn't mean any of that. I know I didn't.

The look on his face was just pure hurt and I could see that he just wanted to stop it as well, he didn't want me to leave, maybe it was because he didn't want me to move in with William but I knew it was time to let it drop.

"I'm sorry, Gabriel," I whispered and in a second he was right next to me, his arms wrapped around tight. Though tears were close to crashing, my face split into a smile as I looked up at Gabe to see that he was smiling too. He lead me over to the couch and sat me down, but didn't bring his arms away. I curled into him, wondering if I should speak first, but decided against it as we sat in silence, holding each other.

"I shouldn't have punched William. I shouldn't have acted so irrationally, I'm sorry."

"William has already forgiven you," I told him with a smile, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. "And you have nothing to be sorry about. It was my fault, I should have told you, because it wasn't fair on you. I shouldn't have said all that shit before, I was just mad. I hate it when we fight."

"Me too. So how about this, we just forget yesterday night ever happened? And today?"

"Deal, on one condition."

"Yeah?"

I smirked. "Could you try not to think of ways to kill William when he comes over?"

Gabe let out a long sigh. "Well... I'll try." We both laughed and it made my heart swell with the sounds of our voices joining together. I turned back to him and just hugged him again.

"Thank you for letting me have William," I said sincerely as Gabe gave me a small, somewhat miserable smile.

"If it makes you happy," He replied quietly, why was he acting so strange? Before I had a chance to ask, he had already moved on to the next subject. "It's so difficult when we fight, we are both as stubborn as each other."

"You know it! I learnt from the best." Gabe laughed and pulled me against him once more. There was nothing that could compare to hug from Gabe Saporta. "One last thank you, for forgiving me so fast." Gabe cocked his head to the side like the little boy he was and grinned.

"Well, I reckon I better go back and tell William the good news, that I have my boy back," I gave his curly hair an affectionate ruffle. "But when I come back home tonight, Chinese and a Disney movie of your choice?" I offered and Gabe nodded with a tight smile.

"Have fun," He managed to squeeze out with added enthusiasm. I frowned at him from the doorway and tried to think of something to help lighten his mood.

"Looking forward to tonight, love you!" I don't think Gabe could wipe that smile off if he tried.